SingerInPurple's shout trail with lucy_h - Help.com

haha, it’s always the funny ones.
I don’t think you can really tell, you just have to know. Like sometimes I can feel it when people look at me x.x

I just need to calm down. As soon as this week is over, I’ll be so so so happy. Idk why but all the younger guys are like into me, and I am so not into that :P

There’s this boy in my french class, and I caught him like STARING at me like intensely (but not creepily) and whenever I talk to him, he looks so deep into my eyes that I feel like he can see my soul…ugh weird, but I like it.

I see my ex’s brother every day, and he used to stare at me every day too, but then I stopped looking back at him, so he probably stopped, idk. I’m being good. But…lol, he has a friend with red hair who is really cute.

I have other guys, but I can’t really think of them right now. haha, I love life.
We had our homecoming a couple of days ago, and this drunk senior came up to me and started grinding with me, and I was like “ew…” lol, but he was really cute. And then I finally danced with this junior boy who I didn’t know…he was really cute though. Oh…but I brought one of my friends from my old school to the homecoming, and the boy from my french class saw us together, and I think he thought we were going out… :(

Hahahaha wow 20? Nice! Lucky you (:

I have one who’s kind of flirting with me. Well, not kind of, he is…he touches me (NOT in a creepy way but like he’ll jokingly punch me and like he put his arm around me today) and he talks to me whenever I’m online. He’s sorta cute and he makes me laugh so we’ll see…

And sometimes I feel like there are a couple guys in my 7th period class (economics) who look at me. Like not a lot but sometimes I’ll look up and one of them will be looking at me, or the other. It’s mostly been just one lately…but I’m not 100% if they’re really looking at me cause I’m attractive, or they just happen to be spacing off in my direction…how can you TELL?? Hahahaha.

Tell me about your guys!!

EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU!!!
I love school…I was like indifferent about it up until 2 weeks ago.
And I feel ya, everythin is so busy.
Yeah I changed my username because this is what it used to be, but then I chaned it to Singer_Scarlett after me and my ex broke up. I guess I feel more like myself now.
I’m so glad to hear that things are better for you, though. I know how it can be.
Any new guys in ur life? haha I have like 20 xD

Heyy Scarlett, haha your username changed!

Sorry for not responding for a while. I’ve been very busy lately.

School, in the most shallow sense, is good. My classes are decent, I have pretty good teachers (mostly), and I’ve made many more friends. And generally I feel more at ease at school, I’m not despising it like I used to.

But I think, in a deeper sense, it’s cause i’ve kind of given up…it’s like I know I can’t do anything so I might as well accept this fake, shallow, “on-the-surface” life.

How’s school for you?

Hey Lucy, how’s school?

Me too! I’ve completely stopped fighting it. Like I’m not even depressed….the same thing happened to me last year (or well, I was supposed to switch schools, but I didn’t last minute)..but I mean, you can only fight to a certain point. And maybe this change in school won’t be so bad, you know? I’m just so frickin tired…emotionally I mean. I just don’t have the strength of anything.
What do you mean “check out early”?? You don’t mean like hurting yourself, right??

Don’t worry, there are always good people out there…you just gotta find them. I’m sure there is some good in your school.

Hahaha YESSS room raider omg I was totally watching that the other day. And yess parental control. When there’s nothing else on TV, it is pretty entertaining, you gotta admit it :P

Ughh me too. I’ve been feeling horrifically depressed lately, although the scary thing is that instead of getting really sad like I usually do, it’s like I’ve finally accepted my fate. Like I’ve stopped fighting. I’ve given up. It worries me a little, I’ve given up “spiritually” I guess you could say. I don’t know if I’ll “check out early” but the idea is more than tempting. Sounds really lame and depressing but I just feel like that’s it…

I’m going back to my old public school, the one that makes me feel awful every time I go in.

Ooh blackish-red! Niice. I totally want to dye my hair black.

NO WAY!!! I’ve been watching trasy MTV shows too!! like room raiders and next and the one where the parents pick out 3 girls…etc. lol, my life is pretty ok..it’s weird…like I’ll be really happy one moment (like now) but then it doesn’t take that much to set me off and get me sad. I think I might be bipolar actually :P

Other than that, I have to keep my emotions inside. is that where emo comes from? like EMOtions? anyway I dyed my hair blackish-red and I got gray contacts, so I’m still getting used to my reflection…haha.

Oh, don’t worry. The school I’m technically going to already started a week ago and i’m still not there :P

Life is alright. Not much is happening. Today, just to be on the cautious side, I visited my “old” school to get my new schedule and it’s amazing how much of a bad mood I came home in! I mean like, that school really makes me hate the world. I just see all the shallow people around me and hate everyone…I mean obviously there are exceptions but it’s like, wow, you guys are all friggin retarded hahaha. And then, other than that, I have not been doing much. Watching trashy MTV shows when there’s nothing else on :P hahaha.

How’s life for you?

So how’s life going for you?

I just found out that I’m not going to school till the day after my school actually starts…so yeah. I’m a bit worried…

Yeah, don’t talk to him unless you feel like it. I haven’t really felt like talking to my ex yet but next time I see him online I’ll IM him and say that sure, I’d like to be friends. But we probably won’t even talk much after that :P I’m super busy once school starts.

And don’t worry, it’ll all work out, I’m sure.

That’ll be like December. Just to be sure. That’s when I’ll start talkin to him…if I feel like it. idk yet.

well, maybe you could, like maybe wait a little longer and then try and talk to him as a friend, you know? Just make sure you are 100% over him.

Umm. Haha. No. :P

I think that’s a good idea…like being friends with ur ex. I wish I had that opportunity.

So did ur school situation get sorted out yet?

Aha. Gotcha. Mine’s only been changing over this past year, more like couple years but yeah more like this past year.

Yeahh! Me too. Not really my best friend, but a really close friend. Which is why I feel it’d be a waste to completely get rid of him and stuff..it’s like all that time and effort, wasted. So I’ll be friends with me ex. Just casual friends. We might get to be better friends but I think I’m permanently turned off of him (: (let’s friggin hope lol, if we’re going to be friends I don’t want to like him again)

Life. I mean, every fall for the past 5ish years has brought change upon me…switching schools, switching friends, idk how else to explain it. It just sucks, but once it’s over, everything is amazing again.

I think everyone wants to feel wanted. I like having a best friend though, and I usually get along better with guys so my bf ends up being kind of my best friend in the end…well I’m only speaking of one experience, but still, I can see a pattern starting to develop. :P

Exactlyyy. It just brightens your whole life. But unfortunately that smiling cutie a few weeks ago…well I mean the memory has dimmed down so I feel lonely again HAHA what is wrong with me?? Why should I need guys’ affections to make me happy??

What has been like that for 4-5 years?

Exactly! I feel like I’m undesirable, that’s why I like get so happy when I see random cute people smiling at me or whatever, lol x.x

And fall is difficult because it’s the season of change and I don’t really like change that much…but this is for the better, I guess. I dunno. It’s been like that for the past 4…soon to be 5 years.

Why is the fall most difficult? In what?

Yadada, like you get what i mean?

Yeahhh…me too, I don’t want anyone, but I want a guy to want me and tell me…sounds pathetic but I’m feeling so undesirable to guys right now even though I don’t think I am…

But oh, I get what you mean about being lonely. It’s weird though cause I don’t want anyone…but I’ll flirt with cuties. Ugh.

yadada? lol wats that mean?

I’m just chillin. i’m gonna be good after Thanksgiving Break…hopefully. Most years it’s like that for me. The fall is the most difficult.

Haha I know what you mean!
Yeahh like I definitely am not interested in him anymore like that. I mean I’m feeling a little lonely, like I want some guy to be interested in me again, but that’s really all it goes to. I know I’ll get through it, it’s been almost a month and most of the time I’m happy. It’s just this loneliness thing. It’s not him exactly I’m missing, it’s the fact that i had anyone at all, yadada?

That’s a good idea, but I mean like, don’t hang out with him for a couple of weeks. Like I haven’t talked to my ex in 2 months, and I’m completely fine. Infact, I feel much better. I actually like legit realized what an a** my ex was. Like wow. I can’t believe I stayed with him for so long! Haha, you’ll get through this.

Yeah, I just want to be friends…truthfully I’m not interested in anything more at the moment…I don’t want it to go any farther.

Yeah, well, he asked me on Tuesday and I still haven’t responded yet, I said I needed to think about it…I think I’ll take a bit more time just to leave him hanging and then say yes :P I just don’t want to get too involved with him in this friendship though, you know? I don’t want him confiding in me, I don’t watn to confide in him…I mean I want to but I’m afraid he’ll just hurt me again, even in something as seemingly simple as a friendship

Oh wow, that sucks…just tell him you need some time or whatever. Maybe you two two will work it out eventually? I mean, do you wanna be friends?

Let’s just say the 8th..:P

Okay, so I have a dilemma. Guess who is asking me to give him a chance to change and to be my friend? (Actually just friend, I thnk he’s lost interest in me as anything more)

9th. You?

Haha nice.
When do you start school?

Yeah, I can hang out with them whenever. I bought cup cakes to get rid of the weirdness, and it totally worked.

That’s nerve-wracking!
But will you still be living nearby them? Like you could still hang out with them right?

I’m going to go say goodbye to my friends from my old school today, and I’m a little nervous…like it’s weird…I’ve been going to school with some of them since I was in 4th or 5th grade.

We’re only allowed to take AP language as seniors and same for the other AP’s actually, haha. I’m thinkin about taking AP us history just so that I have an AP, but idk.

AP Language, AP european history, and possibly AP economics…
haven’t gotten my schedule yet so not 100% certain.

Hmm so how’s life?

Nope. Which ones are you taking?

Ohhh yeah.
I always have trouble sleeping :P

Yeah, when you don’t talk for a while you start to feel better..it’s like, hey, I don’t even need to think about you much.

Yeah, I am, 3…hbu?

I’m having trouble sleeping…insomnia :P
I just don’t want any drama at my new school, but I’m not one of those people who blends in…but I can with effort.

But good that you’re ignoring him. I haven’t had contact with my ex for over a month, and now I’m doing pretty well. It’s kinda awesome.

Are you taking AP’s this year?

I ignored him at first, but then he kept texting so I was just like wtf. And kind of chewed him out a bit. Except in a more subtle way. It was kind of cool. Then I ignored him, and then now we’re talking online (I didn’t start it though). He’s a loser. He really is. I’m totally over him.

I’m not going to miss summer too much…I want ot jump back into life…

How’ve you been?

Ugh, he sucks. Did you text him back?
And I know how it is. I have to start my stupid summer reading and I’m gonna die x.x
I’m like really gonna miss summer. Wow, it went by so quickly!

Yeah, me too.

Idk when school starts…cause there’s this whole mixup with it lol. It technically starts tomorrow but I won’t make it…
so yeah idk…weird situation.

I’m okay…guess what loser texted me today after I told him he wouldn’t hear from me ever again?

School sucks, anyway, how are you doing?

School sucks, anyway, how are you doing?

Nah, I might take an online course if I feel like it, but I’m just gonna study my vocab and I’ll be good. Crap. When does your school start? Mine starts in 2 weeks. I’m freaking out. Like omg.

Yeah, I know how that is. I remember when I was leaving to move across the country and all the people I had known for years were like OMG WHAT??
No, I’m not taking SAT classes, are you?

Holy crap. I just told people from my old school I’m not going back, and it was kinda difficult. I’m scared about the future, but I’ll be fine. I’ll just do cross country and then everything will be fine. haha, the first two months are the most difficult.
Are you takin SAT classes?

My day was…okay. I’m making all sorts of plans for college, like I’m trying to figure out where I want to go and what I want to study, and stuff like that…ahhh and I’m taking SATs in December :(

How about yours?

I get it, it’s cool.
So how was your day?

yes..and I’m trying to stop being self-absorbed and help others more and focus on them so I don’t feel like mentioning much of it (:

Yeah, same here.

Hahah what’s my damage…I don’t know there’s lots to it…