Same here. At one point I was depressed all day everyday and I was even suicidal at one point. Pretty much I got tired of all the bad stuff and decided to pay more attention to the good. I strongly believe that the key to the world getting better is for everyone to pay more attention to what’s right instead of what’s wrong. Yes it may be true that not many people try to do the right thing and even the ones that do can’t for one reason or another(either they are stuck or are held back by something). I guess we all just do the best we can, taking it one day at a time.
Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with the world today. Yes it does get worse everyday and it dosen’t seem like alot of people really care too much but yet they say that there needs to be change though, makes me wonder if people really want peace or not. Also I have also noticed that people also seem to be thinking of death alot as well, which is no way to be thinking.
“yea i feel one day we wont have our crappy downs, it will get better, im telling myself that everyday…”
Yea…Crappy part is that usually there are more crappy downs than ups haha, who knows? maybe tomorrow your life will change as you would like?
Thats why we cant think that it will “always be bad”.
“i will always stress about something, im a over thinker!!…”
I have that habit too, sometimes it messes me up. I try not to be one, but i know its hard.
Im glad to hear from you Riv, it also makes me smile to know that your family is doing OK.
Take care of yourself, and remember that you are not alone. At least you know someone that too feels alone sometimes and sad at other times (me!).
Stay in touch, keep them grades, and shout at me once in a while. Its good to know from you.
“jobs on campus are hard to find, at least were i go to school…”
Hmmm…any places close?
Like daycares?…supermarket? idk…somethin’ like that?
What do you think?
“i feel abandoned by my friends…”
Eh…they suck then. Maybe they don’t do it consciously?
“but then i realized i do not need to be in a relationship to make me happy, fooling around is not on my top 10…”
Good to hear that bc I dont believe in “fooling around” either. It tells me you are not a slut and respect yourself.
Im glad you think that way.
“i just want a good friend to talk to…”
I do have 1 or 2 people I may talk to but they all have families, kids, married etc…so you get the idea. Im “the single one”. Sucks most of the time.
“just dont like feeling alone… “
I dont think anyone does.
“i just feel unwanted in my own house (at school)…”
Why is that?
have they done something to you?
“i just feel lately my life has been getting worse and the loneliness has been getting deeper and deeper without warning…”
Well, keep in mind that you are in school. Studies should be your first priority. Dont pressure yourself or depend much on your “friends”.
Its not a bad thing to maybe be a little distant from them and do your own thing, live the way you want. Don’t be trying to prove yourself to anybody either, try to be comfortable w/yourself.
“i feel childish posting stuff about myself like that…”
I understand bc I have felt that way.
“but i have no one to turn to but people like u on help.com… “
Thank you for keeping in touch.
I turn to this site too, the couple of friends I have here.
So dont think its bad, I think it does help.
“my family would b ashamed bc they would think i would of learned from other members who have taken the wrong path in their lives…”
They’d be proud you made it through college and became a professional. They surely are happy you are attending college.
‘i know what to do, i know what is right, but i do not think i am strong enough to fight through it… “
Tell me, “fight through what”?
Whats holding you back?
The way your friends are “acting”?
Could you tell me a specific thing?
“but im trying and i pray that it will get better… thanks for the concern… “
I believe you are going through a tough phase because of your immediate surroundings, I dont think it will last forever..so don’t worry much about it.
Keep focus on the primary reason you went to college for.
Im OK, dealing w/my own crappy thoughts and crappy emotions most of the times, y’know…the same ‘ol.
Yea, it was nice. Family at home as usual, a little chocolate cake and quality time.
Yup, first black president, that sounds good. I was hoping for him to win. He actually won the hispanic vote.
We had elections here too, that same day. PR is like an unofficial US state, w/the same importance as a US one. Basically everything is the same.
Im good, I was a little stumped because my ex called 2 days before my bday and when I got a hold of her she said she called just to see how I was doing.
I was lost and had a little trouble overthinking, since we hadn’t spoke in 6 months (I dont keep contact w/ex’s). Anyways, that was that, she did wish me a happy bday before we hung up and have not spoken since. I dont think I will call her though.
You still OK?
Still having problems w/that educational pysch class?
Take care Riv and keep practicing your next dance moves to Country Music!
Thanks. The cup also has like a plastic bubble under it w/water and a mini-princess figure in it. Pretty cool.
You’re a good person too.
I expect you to pass your calsses and eventually graduate with good grades, I know you are responsible.
I hope your roomates dont get their hearts broken by their boyfriend type guy.
Stay like you are riv. I know we dont talk much anymore but I hope you are not sad. You know Im around, count on me if you need to talk or something, OK? Shout it.
Rain stopped, went to walgreens bought some milk and basic crap. Saw a little disney princess plastic cup with a stray (nice) thought about my niece so I bought it for her. Felt good. I know she’ll like it.
Dammit riv this loneliness sucks lol. I even feel awkward going out alone.
how’s you relationship w/ your roomate?
You are on a emotional rollercoaster that sucks. Call me and lets talk.
Is it because of what happened with your roomate?
You were happy when school started. Whats goin’ on?
As of me ….well, I’m doing…uh…weird. I actually do not know exactly how I feel right now, Im calm and like in neutral.
My friends wife from Jersey called me crying tonite, she dreamt that I was depressed…was sick of life, crashed my car against a wall and died.
My insides shook riv_, my eyes teared up. She has no idea of how I feel (I never tell her) and I told her that yes I do feel at times depressed and empty with no motivation and that I fight it everyday, and also told her that yes I have felt depressed years back, but that I don’t have the guts to hurt myself.
It was weird, not even I dream of that stuff.
How’s your family doing?
I hope you feel better by the time you read this. Take care rivi_rivera_riv_rav