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• My mother has diabeties and has medicare, she’s 65 now and disabled due to the sort of work she did in factories all her life. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  The problem is that she is afraid to go to the doctor because of the bills. Medicare doesn’t p…

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• My dad does NOT know how to handle our finances.
  

  Dispite what is happening now, this is going to become a very seriously harsh issue later. You may want to make sure you have a back up plan, and a back up plan for that plan. May sound strange, but it’s safer to be prepared than sorry.
  All good ideas here, but if he’s not going to be responsible financially or to you and your sibs, you may have to think ahead before trouble comes knocking on your door.
  If things get bad, like a utility gets cut off, they now have people that call CPS (child protection services) and rat you out if this happens. It may be a good idea that you have someplace that your siblings can “stay” or at least appear as if they are staying with a relative. You are old enough that they may not bother trying to remove you, since he’s disabled it could be seen that you are helping him out.
  But there will be no hesitation in removing your siblings from the home, for their sake - of course.
  
  You don’t want to get caught offguard. You need to be ready for them to be someplace else when those workers come sniffing about. If your Father has an outburst in the wrong place, with the wrong people…you said he has a temper. It could get him into trouble. Someone will check out any kids at home and if an adult is not about to take care of you - off you go into Foster Care. Staying together is not likely, but sometimes you get lucky.
  
  I wish you safety, protection and strength…you will need them all to get through things that are not good right now and may get worse. Keep your head, think, plan and take action. You are all your younger siblings have between them & homelessness or foster care with strangers. (CPS sometimes makes it difficult for grandparents to get temp. custody…sometimes.)
  
  Stay sharp and smart - you can survive this mess. Believe in yourself and find someone you can trust to help you.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• Ok i dono what to do and im kinda freaking about it
  

  Thank you dear, it’s just me being a Mom. Don’t you worry about it, you’ll figure it all out. Just give yourself some time. There’s still some years before that scary, confusing world out there needs to be delt with. Just take things one step at a time…it’s all anyone can do. *lol*
  Even us ancient, parental units have trouble with figuring out the steps and just focusing on now for a few moments. I tend to go online and play rpgs to relieve my stress. *lol* My kids think I’m pretty cool sometimes, so I guess I must be doing alright. You’ll find something to help you deal with things, we’re all unique in finding our own paths to travel.
  
  As for the ex - he should figure things out, but if he’s one of the duller ones or those that just don’t “want” to see what’s right in front of them. Just tell him that you are friends, but that is as far as things go. Let him know that he makes you uncomfortable when he tries hanging on you like you’re his property. If he wants to stay friends, let alone be in your life, it’s time for him to back up and back off out of your social selections. Your free time is yours, you will do with it as you choose, not how anyone tried to manipulate you into using it.
  
  Make sure that the moments you live are filled with wonderful memories, life changing lessons and deep friendships - as well as treasured times with those closest to you - family. We too soon discover that we “missed out” on some great moments with those that may not always be around for us to share things with - it’s nice to have good memories of those moments when the day comes that those special people are gone.
  
  Make your life a wonderous adventure, cherish every single day and night that you are alive. I’m nearing that hilltop myself and each day I spend with my kids is something I’m very happy to have.
  
  Take care of yourself my dear, you’ve so many wonderful things to discover and share with those you love. Embrace that spark of life that sometimes seems to bubble to overflowing. And don’t worry about the down times, they don’t tend to last too long, especially with love and support close by.
  
  Enjoy your weekend and stay safe dear one.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• hi im 31 years old and my mom treat me bad she cuss
  

  I get the feeling you aren’t telling the whole story. Do you have a health issue or disability that has kept you with your mother? From the way you say she’s being angry and abusive, you may have a right to call the adult abuse hotline.
  Your mother sounds very controling, that you are unable to do anything with out her. That makes me wonder if she has been your caregiver and now has decided that you owe her for that which is not very motherly of her.
  If you are disabled, she’s been getting money for your care. That money would be yours, to see to your needs - if this is the case, I don’t think that has been happening.
  She has kept you with her all this time, not making you move out, get a job, training and as you said, not letting you have a social life. This sounds very manipulative and I do not believe you are not damaged by this whole situation. I think that you are going to have to take matters into your own hands and the first step is to talk to someone you trust.
  A doctor, religious leader like a minister or even a nun. Find out from your doctor or go in and see someone at the hospital or clinic and explain your problem to a councilor there.
  You can call an abuse hotline and tell them what you told us here. They will get you help very fast. I do not think that you are totally responsible for this situation, your mother is very much at fault here, if not the one that has caused the problem.
  Now with your mother’s advanced age, she could be suffering from some dementia or other illness as well. It would be best to get some medical help to deal with this whole mess.
  Do you have other family members that you can go to that could help you out? There is something very odd about her keeping you on such a short leash for so long. Currently disability pays out between $600-$900 per month in benefits - that could be a very strong incentive for her keeping you around - abet ignorant of your rights or choices. This verbal abuse is also mentally damaging, especially if it’s gone on for a long time.
  I ask you to please call up an adult abuse line as soon as you can and talk to someone to get you help. I wish you strenth, hope and focus to do what you must do to protect yourself and discover the world you’ve been denied. Good luck and bright blessings upon your journey.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• Hi I am a depressive with two children and am pregnant.
  

  Is there someone, family member that could watch the children and give you some time to talk to a doctor or religious leader, even a close friend to just hear you out? You have a large responsibility, there are lives that count on you being there, in control. They count on you to love them and protect them. If you don’t feel that you can be there for them, especially with your depression and wanting to end your life - (which is never a good idea, more so if there are young ones depending on you.) then you NEED to find a safe place for them with someone that can protect them, love and care for them.
  There is nothing shameful with needing help, but you must ask for it. You must go to the right people that can give you the help you need and be sure that your children are well cared for while you do what you need to.
  A family member is one of the best resources, but good, long time friends can also be there for you if they are like family.
  As for the child you are carrying, the stress and distress you are under may effect the little dear. You need to take care of both of you by using the resources available.
  
  As for the boyfriend, with all honesty, NO MAN IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN CHILD and I can’t emphasis it any more than that. You gave life to your children, you have raised them, loved them and more than anyone else in the world - they love and look to you for hope. You are their world right now, just as you are life to that small one within you. If you end yours, you end anothers - don’t go to that dark path - there is no light waiting for you there.
  
  I wish for you the help you need, the support and love you deserve. With hope and brightest blessings I bid you peace and insight. Treasure those little love lights that are your own true jewels of hope. Let them guide you in turn to something far better and brighter, love is within their eyes, see it and believe in your future and theirs. Remember my dear, you don’t need to walk alone.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• Ok i dono what to do and im kinda freaking about it
  

  My goodness, we are just a fountain of overflowing emotions. I have several daughters so this is something I have a bit of experience in, plus I wasn’t always a Mom, dispite what my siblings thought. *lol*
  
  Ok, you like him, this is the first impression “omg he’s hot” reaction. Now you say you are going to see him again. Okay, now if you can try to not fall into his eyes and stare, giggle like you’ve been breathing laughing gas and not trip over your words while your brain is buzzing at a million miles an hour - you should survive to assess the situation.
  
  Now, being ready to date - that’s a very strange concept. Dating equals out to hanging out with someone. So when your with a male or female friend hanging out, are you dating? It’s such an outdated term - like bell bottoms and belly tops…oh, wait - those are back in style again, right? Hmmm? ok it’s outdated like $1.25 gas unfortunately, for the gas price anyway. Ok - back on track!
  
  You and your ex are friends, that is okay, but be sure he knows that he has no say so in your future male or female friend choices. If you want to be friends with this other guy, he needs to know to back off.
  
  As for being friends with this new guy, that is a very smart move on your part. Moving at hyperspeed when it comes to relationships is not a good choice. It’s best to get to know more about the person, see if there is more to this whole chemistry thing besides butterflies and blushing when they look at you. There is some very obvious chemistry going on for you. The hard part is shoving it back into it’s little hormone cage and try to see past the rose colored lust lenses they inspire.
  
  Chosing how to handle some of these emotional, hyper drama dipped relationships will help you out big time later. So dispite all the buzzing in your head, try to focus on a calm and in control behavior. No crumbling in to that feline side in heat, my daughters have all had to deal with that part. Best to bag that cat and nip that dangerous side effect right away. *lol*
  I never said it would be easy, but definitely in your best interests.
  I wish you luck, focus and oodles of strength and restraint. Focus on your choices as they need to be made, remember that they all will contribute to the person you are and will become. Trust yourself to do what is right for you, not for someone else.
  Always believe in yourself and hold on to your dreams.
  Brightest blessings dear one.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

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