petalpicker's reply history at Help.com

Sometimes I have an event coming up that seems like it should be really exciting, and for whatever reason, I just can’t feel it. It’s always alarming when that happens, so I can totally relate. I hope you end up having a good time when you go.

I think it’s incredible that there are so many ways now, thanks to technology, for people to express themselves. The teenage years are crazy times, and I wish I had had so many forums to discuss my problems, make connections, and keep in touch with my friends. People are bad at spelling. It’s something that drives me crazy, because I’ve always been good at it and misspelled words are like flashing red lights to me. I don’t think it’s that important for words to be spelled correctly in informal settings though, and I think English teachers just need to make sure students understand what situations call for proper spelling and grammar. Try not to worry about these advantages technology has provided us with too much :)

Actually, after many years of being immersed in the gay culture and not being gay myself, I find that I have no problem picking out lesbians from straight girls. I’m rarely wrong. You’ll figure it out. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to just talk to girls you’re interested in. If they’re gay, they’ll let you know pretty quickly, as you’ve found out! Pretty girls get hit on a lot less than you’d think, due to the intimidation factor. If you’re a genuine guy looking for love, you’re a pretty unique human and you probably have a lot going for you. Get out there, have fun, and try not to worry too much about getting hurt. The experience is what it’s all about.

This might seem sort of out of left-field (and hypocritical, considering my last post) but try getting on an exercise regime. I find that when I’m exercising daily I’m a lot more optimistic and easily excited about even the mundane. And by the way, I actually just got back from a trip to Alaska and even if you’re not excited now, you will be when you get there. I’ve never seen a place so beautiful. Research the places you’re going a bit, that oughtta help.
As far as nothing seeming exciting anymore, don’t worry about it too much. Everyone goes through phases like that.

Yeah, I have a friend who does that. She seems to think that by starving herself for half the day, she’ll lose some weight but she ends up eating the wrong things at the wrong times and gets no results. I know that’s not quite the same as what you’re talking about. My problems with exercise are that I have a weird gym phobia I’m trying to get past and that it’s so hot out where I live in the summer that going out for exercise is close to suicide. And something about workout videos just really makes me roll my eyes.

because boys have body image issues too? i’m ok with it.

no no, I am a girl, d93 is a boy.

It’s perfectly natural to feel a maternal instinct so young. My mother had her first baby at 15. The questions you need to ask yourself are:
1. Is there a steady father figure in my life to help care for the baby?
2. Am I ready to give up the fun-filled years ahead of me so I can take care of a person?
3. Am I truly financially stable enough to support myself and a child?
4. Can I deal with the negative social stigma that will inevitably follow me around for years to come for getting pregnant so young?
5. Will my family be supportive of this?
6. Am I taking into account that this, unlike most decisions I make, is a decision that will effect me as well as someone else for the rest of my life and theirs?

Babies are full-time jobs. You’ll have to put school aside, which will make it extremely difficult to have a decent job in the future. Unless you have an enormous inheritence or something like that, I can’t see how you could possily pay for everything a baby requires. I think you should really consider this more thoroughly before making any rash decisions.

d93 - I lost the weight very slowly, and just had to learn how different foods effect my body. Counting calories is a good way to start. When I first started losing a lot of weight, I bought a calorie counter book that tells you the calorie amount in almost any food. I would write down everything I ate - and you have to pay attention to portion size - and add it all up at the end of the day. For my size, I found 1100 calories to work well on days I wasn’t getting a workout in, 1300 for days I was. There’s a great site, myfooddiary.com that can do all that work for you. It’s $9 a month to be a member, and it’s worth it. They even calculate how much you should lose per week based on what you eat each day. It’s awesome.

Yeah, exercise has always been something I’ve had a hard time committing to. I don’t know why, because I really do enjoy it. I think that might be the ticket.

If you’re allowed to, paint! The best thing I did for my bedroom in the house I currently rent was to paint it new colors. It made the whole room feel more ‘mine’. If you’re not allowed to paint the walls, put up photos of people and things that make you happy. My roommates and I decorate with anything we can - record covers, books, toys, whatever. Anything display your personality.

I like that this site is designed for people above 13. 13 is really pretty liberal for a site like this. I think it would be really great if there was a different site, though, maybe an offshoot of this one for younger people. Maybe it could be maintained by an adult, but people over the age of 13 couldn’t be members, so it would be youth answering youth. Sometimes people that age need guidance from adults, but usually if their problems are that serious, they need to take them to adults in real life. A community like help.com for people under 13 would be an awesome forum, and definitely something I would have appreciated at that age!

I disagree with Apollo (no offense, buddy) - you can DEFINITELY go wrong with Somewhere Over the Rainbow. That song contains a broad range of pitches and if you’re worried about your high register, it might not display your voice well at all. “Summertime” from Porgy & Bess is a great song if you can find the sheet music transposed for the alto voice, which you should be able to. “Johnny One-Note” is also a really good one (can’t remember what it’s from) if you have a lot of energy in your voice but aren’t very comfortable with the higher range. I was always a first soprano, so when I used that song as an audition piece, it was a mistake, but it’s great for an alto voice.

Whatever you do, use a piece from an actual musical when you’re auditioning for a musical. Don’t use a pop song, as it won’t showcase your voice in the same way. Disney movie songs actually work for this as well, and since most people know them, they’re not hard to master. “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid got a good friend of mine a lead role in one of our high school musicals.

Good luck!

I don’t know if this sounds appealing to you at all, but my best suggestion is to get a job waiting tables at a good chain restaurant. It’s easy to start making good money quickly waiting tables, definitely more than 7/hour, and most places will hire with no experience. I don’t know what kind of area you live in, but everywhere I’ve lived & worked, waiting tables has always been the best option for me. Restaurants usually are more willing to work with student schedules too, so if you do opt to go to college, you’ll be able to work it out. It’s sort of an exhausting life, but it’s not hard to make great money part-time that way. It’s how I’m making it through school. Once you make some plans and start setting them into motion, you’ll be amazed at how quickly your situation will turn around. And you’ll look back at what you wrote and think you were being very silly.
Good luck.

I’ve been in situations like these, in every role (I’m not proud of it) in the past, and I just wanna say a couple things:

1. If you don’t tell her, she’ll find out eventually. Either you’ll crack (because you seem too nice not to) and tell her, or it’ll get out somehow. It ALWAYS does. Better she finds out from you.

2. If this really only happened once, ok - not cool, but you seem to be feeling serious guilt over it. You should. It sucks. But I don’t believe in the “once a cheater, always a cheater” philosophy. Be honest with your girlfriend, and maybe exaggerate the parts about how bad you feel and how it’ll never, ever happen again.

3. If she doesn’t break up with you, she will almost certainly give you hell. Even if she does break up with you, she’ll still probably give you hell. You need to be ready for that. Let her say everything she needs to say. Hopefully she stays with you, and if she does, be prepared for this to come up again and again. Be patient about re-building her trust. Even though you seem sure now that you’ll never cheat again, she definitely is not going to feel the same certainty, not with any consistency, for a long time.

4. If you don’t tell her…it will eat you alive. Be careful with this. But also realize that you’re learning a great lesson from all of it. People don’t realize how hideous cheating is till they’ve been through it in one way or another.