JoJo's reply history at Help.com

Ok, three months doesn’t sound like marriage time, but probably enough time to get to know each other a bit. First of all, I wouldn’t be afraid of discussing things with your dad because you might influence him. He is a grown man and he has thought and opinions of his own and he can make his own decisions. Being open with him gives him a chance to get someone else’s point of view in case he’s missing something which is pretty common when someone is dating. It does sound a little off to me that she is discussing her debt with your dad already. Typically not a beginning of the relationship discussion. She may be going after your dad for money, she may just be very shy and insecure, she may really love your dad and your not seeing the whole story. No matter what the situation is, keep honest and open communication going on with your dad. It’s going to help your relationship stay strong no matter what happens with this woman.

Think about the consequences of your choices. If you study, what will be the reward? If you get your drivers license, what will be the reward? If you choose to just sit around and watch movies and tv, what will be the reward? Is pushing yourself into doing something you don’t feel like doing worth the rewards? Maybe set short term rewards for yourself too. Do you have a favorite ice cream or any kind of treat you enjoy? Well, tell yourself that once you finish your studying, you can have that treat.

Congrats on quitting drugs! That is quite an accomplishment and it must have taken a tremendous amount of strength to get through that detox time. A lot of times people start doing drugs because of things like depression and anxiety. You said you’ve been depressed since you quit doing drugs, were you happy before doing drugs? Why did you get into drugs? It sounds like you may have depression and it would be a good idea to talk to a counselor and/or a psychiatrist about the best way to treat it.

Wow, it sounds like you have some reasons to be suspicious, but it also sounds like you are very loving and very protective so you may be jumping to conclusions. There really is no way to know what her motives are or whether she is hiding something unless you get some more information. Have you talked to your dad about your concerns? One things is, she might not be very open if she is shy and they haven’t been dating very long. How long have they been together? How do you know she has credit card debt? That seems like personal information someone wouldn’t share really easily.

Ok, that makes some sense. That is a huge burden for a newly married couple to take on or really even anyone to take on. The fact that he right now has people who are taking care of him means he might expect you to be taking care of him if he does move close to you. If I were you, I would just talk to him on the phone and let him know that if he does come to live near you, you aren’t going to be responsible for taking care of him and if he needs someone to take care of him, he better stay where he is. He might not like to hear that and things could be stressful in your relationship, but he is your brother and you can work to repair the relationship. If your wife has made it clear she doesn’t want to be responsible for him and you don’t support her in that desire and need, it could be a very bad sign in your relationship. Be honest with your brother even if it makes him angry. Let him know you care about him but are not in a place in your life where you can take care of him.

Hi Katherine, I can understand that it would be hard for your daughter to understand, but like you said, she knows something is going on. Knowing that something is wrong and not knowing what it is can be way scarier for a child then someone sitting down and explaining what is happening. It might be hard for you to figure out exactly what to say to her, but that is yet again something a counselor can help you with. It seems like you have a very good attitude about all of this and venting about how you’re feeling is better then just bottling it all up and pretending everything is fine. This can be a great place to vent and a place to find support. I have heard of support groups for people with HIV. Did your doctor mention anything like this? Have you looked online to see if there is one near you? I have to go to bed now, but I would love to talk to you again sometime. I don’t know what you believe and I hope I don’t offend you, but I want you to know I am praying for you. God bless.

A cutter is someone who cuts themselves.

I am once again going to suggest a counselor to help you deal with the emotional side of all of this. This isn’t a death sentence and you know that, but it is a major life change and the more help you have during a time like this, the better you will do at getting through it and managing in the most healthy way possible. As for your daughter, I very much doubt she is upset at you for getting this. She knows it isn’t your fault and she is just going to want to help you. She doesn’t want to see you in pain. This is probably a scary time for her too because she wont be able to fully understand what’s going on, so maybe having her do some counseling with a school counselor or other counselor wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

I’m sorry, are you asking people how to hack into someones account on a website or am I totally not understanding what you are saying?

No More Tears is definitely right, your life isn’t over. I can’t imagine how scary and overwhelming this kind of news is, but it sounds like you are doing everything you can to learn how to deal with things and take good care of yourself. It is of course important to take care of yourself physically, but it is also important to keep mentally and emotionally healthy during all of this. Do you have people in your life who are loving and supportive and who you can talk to about this? Have you though about talking to a counselor to help you get through this rough time?

I hope it helps just to see that there are people here who read your post and who responded. You are being heard. Even if you don’t get the advice you want or need, let yourself keep venting when you need to and keep talking to people. Sometimes just getting stuff out can help a lot. As people have said, your post is very complicated, your story is very complicated. There’s not a lot people on here can do to help you, but we can listen, we can care and we can give the best advice we can. Going to a psychiatrist is a great way to get help (although psychiatrists are typically more for meds and counselors, therapists, or psychologists are more for talking and therapy so I hope you are seeing one of them too)because they will be able to go more in depth with you and help you see exactly what is going on and why you are struggling so much. I have to say your post is one of the most intelligent ones I’ve seen. It made me think maybe you aren’t really 17 because I rarely see 17 year olds who write so well. It does seem like you are very intelligent and you have a great chance to move past your mistakes and do something great with your life if you choose to pursue a better path.

I don’t know if this is what you are looking for, but it’s all I came up with when I did a search

http://www.cell-phone-accessories.com…

Yikes! I’m sure that you have talked to a doctor about it in order to find out that you have it. Did that doctor give you a lot of information? Did they tell you about the disease and what you can do to be as healthy as possible? I know if I was in your situation, I would be doing tons of internet research to find out as much as I can. Knowing what is going on and what to expect and what I can do to help myself helps me feel less scared about things.

Do you have any friends? Are there any kids your age who are nice to you? Maybe talk to them and see if they have any ideas why people are so mean to you and what you can do about it. They are close enough to you to see what’s going on and yet far enough away to have a different perspective then you do. What do you do that makes people say you are annoying?

Yikes, counselor who is friends with your mom is a bad idea. You don’t have to tell your mom what the problem is to ask her if maybe you could see a counselor. Just tell her you think it would help to have someone to talk to. If you don’t let your mom help you out, it’s going to cost some money and you’ll have to pay it, so the best idea is just to ask your mom about it. Hopefully she will be glad you are asking for what you need and will encourage and support you. Then once you are seeing the counselor, your talks are just between you and the counselor.