The fact that you can admit all of that to us here at help and to him, makes you an incredibly strong person; wow. I don’t think you would cheat again, it seems to bother you deep down, but it is your call. Simply breaking up with your boyfriend may not be the best choice either.
If you are truely remorseful, it might give you some closure if you allowed him to choose. Pose the question to him as “I understand what I did hurt you terribly, and if you feel that we should go our separate ways or perhaps take a break, its ok.” It seems he really likes you, to come back so soon, but give him a chance to speak. Perhaps you could compromise by pledging not to drink, at least not until you can find a safe limit.
I’m only starting to worry because I’ve been regular for seven years with no back pain this low. I’m hoping it’ll pass, just wasn’t sure if anyone else knew something more. Thanks! - written 3 years, 6 months ago