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• My boyfriend has cheated on me.and i love him to death.and
  

  Has he cheated on past girlfriends or is this his first time? If it is his first time, maybe he learned his lesson. If not then watch out cuz he will probably do it again. Men and women cheat for diffent reasons but one thing holds true for both, if they liked it, they will do it again. Did he come to you with this or did you find out and confront him? The fact is, you have to make this decision of whether to trust again, but make sure that you don’t do it lightly. Once you have made the decision to forgive, you must also forget. That means that you can’t accuse him of doing it again without undeniable proof and you can’t worry about it all the time either. It is a very hard thing to do. If you fail to do these things, it could inevitably lead him to cheat again because of relationship flaws, lack of trust, failure to communicate or any other various reasons related to the failure on your part to forget and move on. In the end, it is your call.
  - written 3 years ago

• Hey whats up, well i have a situation.
  

  In response to your response, in the middle of my frantic typing, he sounds like he has given up. If he won’t talk to you about this anymore, you may want to consider option b and move on. It is better to have a broken heart now than to have a lifetime of misery because he won’t talk to you about this stuff. If he won’t talk now, that won’t change ovet time… it actually gets worse. You can’t make him talk if he doesn’t want to. This kind of talking is essential to any long term relationship. I have been married for a while now and there have been several conversations that my husband and I have had about our feelings and our needs. To be happy in a relationship, those lines of communication have to be intact or it is doomed. Just getting more serious, for example getting engaged, will not make it better in the long run. He will still be the same person until he is ready and willing to change his own behaviors.
  - written 3 years ago

• Hey whats up, well i have a situation.
  

  I agree, you need to talk to him about this before making a decision. He may not be aware that his attentions are not at a level that you feel you need. Also, take into concideration how long you have been together. Is this something that has been waining for a while or is it something very new? It is normal for relationships to experience times of lows and highs. If it is something very new, a sudden change, then there is still time to figure out what is different and make the changes to overcome this or figure out that it is time to move on. If it has been slowly changing for a long time, and neither of you have faced this fact, then much more work need to be done if you both wish to resurect your relationship. It is not as simple because you have both either been in denial or have failed to notice what has been going on up until this point. The fact is that if you both wish to stay together, it can be helped. If his lack of attention is due to his desire to give up on the relationship, then there is not much you can do. My expereince is that when a guy stops paying attention it is usually because he is ready to move on but is too scared to tell you. The lack of attention is his way of pushing you away so that you will break up with him, leaving him free of guilt. Of course he may also just be dumb to the fact that he is not giving you the same attention that he used to.
  - written 3 years ago

• Help me understand…..Why is it that its easier to ask forgiveness than permission?
  

  I was not trying to upset you in my last message. I am very sorry if I did. I just wanted to get across that it is important that you, and she learn a lesson from this and that the same mistakes are not repeated. It sounds as if you have both talked about this issue with money to a certain extent, but you may want to talk about it some more if there are other issues that have not been addressed [such as the spending on your child]. She seems to be aginst you spending any money on your child, and if this is the case, that is not a good place to be in.
  Some people just have a harder time finding good reasons to spend money. Often, this is due learned behaviors from our parents and sometimes it is from the observations of others. I can not guess what her reasons are, but if you can begin to understand them with her help, it may make many of the money spending decisions easier on the both of you.
  Best of luck
  - written 3 years ago

• Help me understand…..Why is it that its easier to ask forgiveness than permission?
  

  Animal, is it that you are so afraid to ask her and have her say no or is it that you just do not feel like you should have to ask? It sounds as if your making 3/4 of the household income makes you feel as though you are entitled to spend extra money without asking her if it is ok to do so. Does she only work part-time or something so that you feel as though she is not pulling equal weight? If your income is something that she has to depend on to make sure that the household bills are paid then it would only be polite and respectful to include her in spending decisions… especially if they are larger purchases. To save the extra money each month to make these purchases that you are hiding is much more honerable, if you do not intend to share your desires with her (ie ask permission as you put it), than to spend the money outright and behind her back. But still, as a married person, including your spouce in decisions like this is just a small part of the things that you should be doing. Otherwise, you might as well just have a room mate that you have to explain why your portion of the house bills are overdue. It will not take long before she gets tierd of having the same conversation with you over and over agian. It will not be every time that she is able to forgive you after a while. Forgiveness is earned much like permission if the same mistakes keep being made. I am glad to see that you do intend to make use of a better system. This is just more food for thought.
  - written 3 years ago

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