Theresa's reply history at Help.com

Focus on what your best qualities are (those are your tools and assets)
instead of what you don’t like.

If you can’t think of any good qualities then that’s where you need to start creating!

I can honestly say I dwell on the things I am not. I have little confidence.
But I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life.
Everyone feels bad about themselves at times.
Don’t beat yourself up kay?

So many times I look back on the the dumb mistakes I made and how it’s affecting me now! Sometimes I wanna go back in time and start over. All I can do is change how I’m making choices today and not dwell or beat myself up.

I really do want to heal and become stronger and confident. I care too much of what people think of me. How do I change that???? Hell if I know. Lol. I guess I’m not the only one.

Maybe you don’t have the best relationship with your dad or your brother. I think maybe your dad and brother are some what alike.

Most important thing, don’t beat yourself up. There are many people in the world that go about things in a different way, look a different way, feel and love in different ways. Just because you do things your own way doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Do, feel, and be the way you feel most good about yourself. Everyone else can go suck an egg.

I’m a little bit confused too. If he was wondering where you’re going that’s a good thing cuz he was just checking up on you and maybe a little curious what you were up to?

Currently, you think he might want to break up with you? For a second lets just look at what you’re feeling….Do you still want this relationship?

I think for me it had to do with my upbringing. My mom tends to worry about everything! Total worry wort.

My parents loved me :) but they didn’t give very many tools or education to process life! I tend to be a dweller. Someone once told me not to live in the past or worry about the future. Just live in the present!

That’s me alright! I live inside my mind! If you ever find any tools to help us both out let me know! lol

Don’t tell the girl. The moment has passed and nothing has come of it.

It does suck! In my situation, I wish that this guy would reach out to me. The honest truth is…it’s something is able to do!!! He just hasn’t done it for whatever reason. I’m shut out! It’s hurtful but I can’t dwell on it.

He will reach out to you in the future. It’s your choice if you want to hold on to the feelings or not. Seems like it may be more hurtful to hold on to it though.

Just know, that it wasn’t anything you did or who you are. He wasn’t able to offer anything. That’s all.

Yeah I do think it’s a little bit of over analyzing and self esteem

I’m like that too! I always over think things. My self esteem isn’t that high either! I wish I had an idea on how to help (or help myself for that matter)

I think it’s just a process of retraining your mind. Every time you’re over thinking switch your thought to something else. Get into an activity. It’s actually pretty hard to retrain your mind. Thousands of thoughts are processed a day.

He likes you. Never doubt your instincts.

I just think sometimes guys can be cowards. I’m dealing with a similar situation. It hurts to be ignored! It seems like guys can shut off emotions easier than girls. Girls like to vent. That’s just my opinion.

He may not have reached out to you or gave you clarity or closer….
but it sounds like he likes you but has nothing to offer you in this point in time.
At the least he could be a good friend but I don’t think he can be a friend right now without really liking you.

I can’t say I every feel guilty. I do feel down on myself when things happen though. Almost like kicking myself when I’m down.

What kind of guilt are you talking about? Like doing something and then regretting it?

It sounds like he didn’t want to start a relationship (maybe cuz the distance or the friend) but he really did like you. The kiss may be just a way of doing something so you both didn’t regret not ever making the connection.

He does like you. You like him. But I think it was just an in the moment thing.
Is that what you think?

I feel like crap too :( Sometime all we need is a friend or sidekick in life.

The problem is I can’t seem to find one!

I lost a partner recently too! It’s been really hard to process because he was a part of my everyday life. Seems he moved forward so quickly. No one wants to feel like they are easily forgotten. :(

Just remember that guys processes emotions differently. He may not reply but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He might just be dealing with things in a different way and he might not be able to say anything to heal your pain right now.

I hear ya. I know you’re hurting. If you’re set on giving it a shot then I wish you luck. I suggest writing down some words so you can come off the right way.

Let’s us know how you’re doing

I feel ya. You’re allowed to have these feelings. The problem is he is in another relationship. To save yourself from pain you have to build something for yourself. Enough though it hurts…I agree that you shouldn’t tell him. I think he would distance himself from you. Does he show any affect towards you?

How are things with your friendship today?

I think you hit the nail on the head. See, I guess that’s what I’m trying to make sense of. He either didn’t want to make things harder on himself (or me for that matter) by closing the book or he wasn’t that into me.

It was a fairly new relationship but he had made all the steps to be serious. He wanted me to meet his family he wanted to be apart of my daughters life (which by the way I never let happen before in any relationship!)

I feel crushed because he was apart of my everyday life and now he’s moving away to Sweden!! What??? He’s career meant that much to him I get it and I support him but I didn’t get a face to face goodbye??? That’s not cool!!!!!!