AmandaLynn1981's profile at Help.com

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• AmandaLynn’s back… posted (1 year, 1 month) ago
  Just lettin everyone know. Help deactivated me for some reason and so all my stuff is lost…i…

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Last 5 Replies – All 8 replies »

• I m suffering from a big cnfusion in my love….
  

  Sweety - i wouldnt marry him right away. If you two are really looking to have a serious relationship that results in marriage - you need to just spend more time together so you can get to konw each other on a real level. Im not one for shacking up together, but im talking about just moving closer (if your not close already) so you can physically be around each other. There is only so much you can discover about the other person through typing and phone calls. You can gather information by what they tell you - but as far as how they handle their family, friends, the opiset sex when they are dating someone, failures and mistakes, what their determination level is and commitment level, how they treat themselves, how they display love and how they receive love, how they handle disagreements and differences in opinions….. you cant discover that until you just “spend time with them, and go through life together on a small level. And i would advise you finding out these things before you choose to marry one another unless you have both been taught the keys to making a marriage work and are very wise relationally.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why is it so hard to leave my husband?
  

  Has he ever complained about anything in the relationship? Sexually or otherwise?
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why is it so hard to leave my husband?
  

  Sweety - if thats why he says he keeps cheating on you - just cuz “it just happens” - …. your just gonna have to decide if you want to live with a person who allows things like that to “just happen”. If thats his perspective on it - as sorry as he may be - he wont change it. … not thinking like that. Providing excuses to actions never results in a change of action - . And as much as you say you dont approve and how much its hurt you and such - it doesnt matter. By staying with him - in a way - you are saying its ok. … to him.
  
  I would go with MrRodneyLong’s advice. You need to get going with your life, regain your footing, find yourself again, get out from under the guilt and emotional trama that this current relationship is heaping on you, regain your confidence and go enjoy your life. Im not one for divorce at all,… but… if hes not willing to change - what can you do really with a cheating husband? u know? Thats a matter of HIS CHOICES… and you can do all you can - but it still goes back to “his choice”. And i would think you cant live the way you want to live with a man that is directing the relationship in such a direction.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why is it so hard to leave my husband?
  

  I am wondering - for shear information purposes - have you asked him WHY he cheated? And if so - what was his response?
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why is it so hard to leave my husband?
  

  Sweety - there is so much information that i dont have. Why did you marry each other? Were things always this way? When did they change if they werent always this way? Did yall ever have a time when you could communicate clearly with one another and “understand” one another? I totally believe that nearly any marriage can be healed if BOTH people want it to be. And - that also sometimes misscommunication leads to having both persons thinking the other doesnt care anymore when really they do - they’ve just “given up” because they think the other person dont care. It can turn into a mess. …. but there are also times when we just marry the wrong people, or bitterness causes hard hearts and hard hearts cause broken marriages. If you want to talk about the marriage more - i’d be glad to discuss it with you to see if we can figure out what went wrong. If not - then i give you my answer below.
  
  If your simply wanting an answer as to why its so hard to leave him - and thats all you want to discuss - I’d have to say maybe because you’ve invested so much time and efforts into it already, becasue you still are trying to tell yourself that hes a good guy, if you have kids - thats a big one usually, and that you think he will still change. And if for some reason you blame yourself for why things are the way they are - that could also be a reason its hard for you to leave him.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

AmandaLynn1981's conversations are tagged:

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