Demented's shout trail with Fuzzy Pepper - Help.com

First of all, it does take some time to make friends on help. People need to get to know you a bit and sometimes that is hard to do online. Your consistent replies will make people learn that you are REAL. As in, not using help for an “alter ego” sort of thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah, help is getting into a more of a social type of site than a true helping site, I think.

Ok, now, for some real advice. And some of it is probably what you have heard before. But maybe I can give it to you in a way that will make sense to YOU and it will give YOU something to hold on to.

I NEVER had friends in HS. I was a nerd all through growing up….in a VERY small town. Therefore, seriously, I had like three friends. And those friends usually went with others before me. My parents didn’t help much….they really contributed to my social grace-less-ness. But…

Hey, I was kind of an ugly, dorky, clumsy LITTLE girl….but by the time I got to HS….watch out!!! :) But I didn’t have the social grace to handle that. It didn’t happen for me until I went to college. Then all of a sudden, my social skills began to develop. For the first time in my life, I had people vying for my attention….people who would say “hi” to me when I was just walking down the sidewalk…and I mean EVERYONE I passed. People who I didn’t know knew me….it was amazing. The only thing that I changed about myself in my college days was to become “less of me,” if that makes any sense. I was cute, and people just started to want to hang out with me. It corrupted me and made me “FAKE” to a certain extent. Plus, since I was such a social klutz, I had alot to learn about the REAL social scene…not the “fake” party girl scene in college.

So, I learned. Now I am ME….nothing else….just ME. I have learned, through much experience that is the best way to go. I do not change a thing about myself for others. Ever. Unless I decide that it is the best thing to do; not becuse it is the “thing” to do.

And people are attracted to me. It’s a funny thing, because MORE people are attracted to me than in college….and here I am with lines on my face (just a couple) and a couple gray hairs….a little overweight from having three babies in less than 4 years….but they still like me. And you know what I think it is?? It’s the fact that I am GENUINE and UNWAVERING. People respect that. People look up to that. People want people like that in their lives.

I am KIND to EVERYONE….EVERYONE deserves to be treated with kindness. (not saying you don’t…these are just some “tips” I learned over time). And I am genuine. I have learned that the old saying, “you gotta love yourself before anyone else will love you….” That’s FAKE….it’s BS!!! It really is that you gotta love others before you love yourself and others will just simply love you as a result….got it?

Don’t change who you are….develop who you are. Find out YOU….and be true and honest with yourself. Make your heart pure and people will search you out….now it MAY NOT happen in HS….people in HS are sometimes ‘catty, vain, self absorbed….’ but have faith that it WILL happen. You just work on you. The stronger you build your own identity, the stronger inner strength you will acheive. THAT is attractive!

You know what…your photos aren’t what made people talk to you less…it is the fact that people are not on here as much as they were, even when I started….not the regulars, anyway. And I have not been on here much, either…I am in graduate school; and with three YOUNG children, it is killing me….no time to do homework till after 10 pm and then I have 4-5 hours of homework per night…I’m dead tired. That’s it.

As far as liking a girl who is in love with another….I know you’ve heard this before…but HS relationships just don’t last. It is when you “get out there” into the world that you find relationships that will last. Just be patient in that regard. Your world is so small right now….you think the people you see every day in school are all there is in this world….no way. Trust me

You take care of yourself, I’m glad you shouted me and I hope you will be happier and understand some of what I am saying,

Jill

Thanks for the concern Jelly Belly.

Well I’ve been feeling worse and worse. Thinking about friends if I will ever have one or even a relationship with more than 1 friends like in the show “friends”. Thinking about those who dislike me, sometimes I feel nobody really cares here in help.com. I enjoy helping others but am I really going anywhere? I joined this website to make friends and have some help in life but.. people just don’t care sometimes. They really don’t. For a 3 Paragraph post id get 2 replys. For a post that is just for fun more people would post there instead. It hurts me JellyBelly. I can’t even keep a good friend, they would ditch me after a semester, I never get invited to partys I never was liked. But I understand that not everyone is meant for love. I can understand god doesn’t want me to have any relationship. Its just the way it is. I’m already use to being lonely for gods sake. I’m a total mess, this has been going on for 12 years. But I try, here is what I did. First I change myself by changing style of clothing didn’t work. Getting straight A’s in school, got that but for friends… didn’t work (And I thought that would earn my friends). I tried changing my style of music since lots like music. I hated rap music its too bassy and just ridiculous.. didn’t work. And most of all I tried being myself… nothing. No friends just a report card with As. And it toke me nowhere. Nowhere! Sure it would dramatically change my future but I want to have good friends to talk to. I want that… I toke off my photos because I notice people talking to me alot less on help.com. Well That is all what basically made me just give up. I also Liked this girl in my class but she already loves another.. we actually talked a little today but she talks more to others.

I listened to this song.. made me cry inside, I can’t tear anymore because I know I’m hopeless, really.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nooeMr…

Well I guess I only learned how to live without a relationship even love. I’m a dead man. All see you around Jelly Belly. Goodbye and god bless.

Hey, Demented….haven’t seen you around in a while….how are you? Is everything OK????

I’m good…you?

I really should get off this website and get something productive done…homework/cleaning toilets….:s

But I’m hooked

Oh thanks :P Yeah I toke this last night after I found my camera. How are you?

Is your avatar your picture, Demented? You are handsome….

Remember, I am a much-older-than-you-’mommy,’ and mean that in a way such as….well, you get my point. But it doesn’t lessen the compliment….

Thanks Jelly, I’ve actually realized it was my birthday tomorrow. Thanks again.

Happy Birthday, Demented

Yeah! haha good night Jelly Belly

g’night. You have a good night too. You are up awful late. Good thing it’s not a school night :)

Not forever…not being callous or anything, but once you ‘grow up,’ as in get out of the ‘hormonal’ stage, you should be fine.

I tried suicide several times in my teens. Ended up in a mental hospital. It’s really not worth it. When you get older you will see life as the treasure that it is.

Oh don’t worry about me, I’m just a stranger who’s just around. I’m like a drug dealer, but I don’t give drugs. I give my charity, and my advice and my shoulder to cry on. I’ll always be here. you have a good night

I made a few posts, talk to councilors. They told me to “deal with it”. Unfortunately they were student councilors so rumors spread and now I’m a mess. 1 person told me to “Deal with what I have”. I’m not suicidal, tell you the truth I did try once, but I failed. That was 2 years ago. But really if you see me in person I’d be totally happy to meet you. I’ve learned that I’ll be this way for awhile, maybe forever who knows.

Good.

Answer my other shout so I can go to bed:)

Well, I hope you were able to help her.

I hope you feel better. Why do you feel like you are such a social mess? Well, you’re 15, and 90% of people at that age feel like social messes. So don’t do anything rash or silly or stupid and just let some time pass and you will feel better.

I thought you had only been on this site for a couple weeks. How long have you been here?

It’s noble of you to want to help people. I think that is why most of us are on help. And I think a good majority are on here not only to help others but also as a cathartic, healing sort of thing.

Why don’t you like yourself or your life? Is there anything you can do to change that?

Glad you told me a bit more about you. Glad to meet you.

But I gave her advice and answers, shes okay now.

She was talking to me about her parents separating, and she didn’t like to hear them yell at each other over her school fees and her grades. She even sent me a shoutout about a guy she liked in he class. She actually shouted out in her own page :/

I come on this website once in awhile just to help people, and to get over the fact that I’m in a social mess, I watch myself melt in humiliation, and a broken heart, sometimes worse. I help people out, give advice. Make sure they sleep happy. Its what I think I should do since I’m still walking on earth, just here to help, I don’t like myself, my life. But I never cry over it nor try to make it worse. I move on… Just thought you would want to know more about me.

So, what do you think the post was about if not….that?

I will never hurt anyone or say something to them for no reason. There is no point to argue over the internet. I may tell them to back off but thats it.

Well, I was just defending her because she never meant for the post to be about.. that.

aaaw, crap. Go back to the post. I am not going to ignore you. It’s OK.

I just thought that you were being a butt and not reading and comprehending what I was getting at.

I have re read the posts, and I think that you WERE referring to me, but it’s OK

Why are you used to being ignored?

Maybe you aren’t good at ‘buddy making’ because you come across as hostile….for example if your real life is anything like your avatar/name….?

You can ignore me, I’m use to that. I just want to let you know I’m sorry. I was never good at buddy making…

Hey hey, Sorry for that thing I said. But I wasn’t referring to you. I didn’t want to say the persons username because I didn’t really want to start any trouble.