Demented's shoutbox - Help.com

First of all, it does take some time to make friends on help. People need to get to know you a bit and sometimes that is hard to do online. Your consistent replies will make people learn that you are REAL. As in, not using help for an “alter ego” sort of thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah, help is getting into a more of a social type of site than a true helping site, I think.

Ok, now, for some real advice. And some of it is probably what you have heard before. But maybe I can give it to you in a way that will make sense to YOU and it will give YOU something to hold on to.

I NEVER had friends in HS. I was a nerd all through growing up….in a VERY small town. Therefore, seriously, I had like three friends. And those friends usually went with others before me. My parents didn’t help much….they really contributed to my social grace-less-ness. But…

Hey, I was kind of an ugly, dorky, clumsy LITTLE girl….but by the time I got to HS….watch out!!! :) But I didn’t have the social grace to handle that. It didn’t happen for me until I went to college. Then all of a sudden, my social skills began to develop. For the first time in my life, I had people vying for my attention….people who would say “hi” to me when I was just walking down the sidewalk…and I mean EVERYONE I passed. People who I didn’t know knew me….it was amazing. The only thing that I changed about myself in my college days was to become “less of me,” if that makes any sense. I was cute, and people just started to want to hang out with me. It corrupted me and made me “FAKE” to a certain extent. Plus, since I was such a social klutz, I had alot to learn about the REAL social scene…not the “fake” party girl scene in college.

So, I learned. Now I am ME….nothing else….just ME. I have learned, through much experience that is the best way to go. I do not change a thing about myself for others. Ever. Unless I decide that it is the best thing to do; not becuse it is the “thing” to do.

And people are attracted to me. It’s a funny thing, because MORE people are attracted to me than in college….and here I am with lines on my face (just a couple) and a couple gray hairs….a little overweight from having three babies in less than 4 years….but they still like me. And you know what I think it is?? It’s the fact that I am GENUINE and UNWAVERING. People respect that. People look up to that. People want people like that in their lives.

I am KIND to EVERYONE….EVERYONE deserves to be treated with kindness. (not saying you don’t…these are just some “tips” I learned over time). And I am genuine. I have learned that the old saying, “you gotta love yourself before anyone else will love you….” That’s FAKE….it’s BS!!! It really is that you gotta love others before you love yourself and others will just simply love you as a result….got it?

Don’t change who you are….develop who you are. Find out YOU….and be true and honest with yourself. Make your heart pure and people will search you out….now it MAY NOT happen in HS….people in HS are sometimes ‘catty, vain, self absorbed….’ but have faith that it WILL happen. You just work on you. The stronger you build your own identity, the stronger inner strength you will acheive. THAT is attractive!

You know what…your photos aren’t what made people talk to you less…it is the fact that people are not on here as much as they were, even when I started….not the regulars, anyway. And I have not been on here much, either…I am in graduate school; and with three YOUNG children, it is killing me….no time to do homework till after 10 pm and then I have 4-5 hours of homework per night…I’m dead tired. That’s it.

As far as liking a girl who is in love with another….I know you’ve heard this before…but HS relationships just don’t last. It is when you “get out there” into the world that you find relationships that will last. Just be patient in that regard. Your world is so small right now….you think the people you see every day in school are all there is in this world….no way. Trust me

You take care of yourself, I’m glad you shouted me and I hope you will be happier and understand some of what I am saying,

Jill

Hey, Demented….haven’t seen you around in a while….how are you? Is everything OK????

you had plenty of people talking to you…
whattya mean?

whoa whoa whoa.

where is your happy picture at?

Not very much…Lol :) Just on chat and drinking beer

I think I can understand. Even though things are smoothing out right now, you’ve been put through the wringer and it’s going to take a long time to build up the kind of relationship that you should have with your mom, if it ever happens at all. You can’t trust somebody to be better than they were just because they’re acting like it at the moment.

So you just don’t want anything to do with him cause he left you and your family and is a lair like that… that’s understandable. Just don’t blame yourself on the problems he caused.

well don’t know what to say except there is no fault of yours from what I read just a lot of drama between them and your in the middle, which is no good

That movie was VERY strange but it was cool. haha I’m reading your post right know hold on

I’m good…you?

I really should get off this website and get something productive done…homework/cleaning toilets….:s

But I’m hooked

Is your avatar your picture, Demented? You are handsome….

Remember, I am a much-older-than-you-’mommy,’ and mean that in a way such as….well, you get my point. But it doesn’t lessen the compliment….

Well My movies about to start so Ill check it and see if I can be of any help when I get back, watching the movie “The Fall” ill be on later, ttyl

oh no not my birthday, that’s next month. My moms.
Could be better huh, what seems to be the problem, maybe I can help ?

Hey, not much just got back from some restaurant for a B-day… im gonna have to work this off later. How are you ?

YES!!

i was sooo worried but the minute i got in the kitchen and felt my knife in my hand, everything came together.

cool cool cool

i had my first practical exam in the kitchen today. i did GREAT!! got a 95%

a marvelous idea! it looks rather deadly…

what do you mean “is it okay?”

it is you!
it is WONDERFUL!!

now why didn’t you tell me you were so cute?

it’s a UK radio station(: not sure if you can get it online. frequency 104.9 but you can only get it if youre near london i think.
what sort of hobbies do you have?
DollyxXx

ugh you sound just like me when i was your age(and i sound just like my grandmother…)

man, why do you keep getting saddled with these horrid girls???

i have no wonderful advice that will solve all your problems. but i do have some words of encouragement,

stay strong, she is out there!!
and she is waiting for you.
if you give up? who does she get stuck with? some 19 yr old dude. who is totally not worth her.

awww that is tough.

how long did you guys talk for?

now i feel bad.

you can seriously talk to me about anything. i am your friend. i would open up to you if i had problems. but i can’t make you. so…. i am here if you need me i guess.

come on.

talk to me buddy!
what’s up? you seem down.

i am stone cold amazing.

i have my first kithen practical tomorrow, and i am petrified.

but other than that…
:D

why only okay? what’s up?

hello darling!

how was your day? good?

cool(:
i listen to xfm and radio one, so i guess i like whatever they play!
Dollyx♥x

Ooo red socks. poshh:D
what type of music do you like? i any
DollyxXx

i have a red mug(: has fairys on it
tea or coffee?
DollyxXx

xenotherapy stuff.

anytime sweetie!

what are friends for?
:D

a new therapy for reducing allergens…

why?

pretty much.

so now i am completely out of things to ask you…

do you have anything you want to ask me?

lol everyone does that!!

okay i am the oldest to but i have 2 brothers and one sister(satan!!) my parents are sitll married and crazy in love(*eye roll*) i am curvy, which just means not skinny. i have no coordination and a low violence level…

we are complete opposites. lol

Sure, I live with my mom along with my 3 sisters. I’m the eldest here. I visit my father once a week. I’m a skinny kid, I’ve also done Iaido. And I’m a A honor roll student at my school

Hey,
I’ll see if I have time before I die okay?
Thansk you see cool too if we don’t go into a giant black hole then I hope to see youa round…
Bye xxx

exactly! makes the pain seem so trivial…

sooo i know nothing about you, except when your birthday is and that you do some form of martial arts…

wanna swap info, buddy?

good.

sliced my hand rather abdly in the kitchen today but nothing a little sponge-bob band-aid can’t fix!

:)

it’s okay! i forgive you.

just checking in with you, how are things?

heyyyy!!!!
how was your day. darling???

are you ignoring me?
:(

You are welcome.
We need help sometimes, don’t we.

hello(: how are you? well isnt this anonyong a shout from someone you dont know…sorry
:D whats your faviorite colour?
Dollyx♥x

Hello ! Happy Birthday! You got another card. :)

hey!!
how are you today?

hungover from all that partying?
lol jk.

Yeah this place is awesome, so in light of the fact we dont really know eachother yet, can I add you to my friends list? if you dont mind.

Haha that makes since, ive been gone for about two weeks, Im here alot, so how do you like the site?

Awesome.
What time is it at the place you live in?
It’s 11pm here.

Hui im Nante! you new around here? or have we just not ran into eachother?

your welcome!!
anytime.

what are friends for, after all?
:D

You’re welcome.
:D
How old are you now?
If you don’t mind me asking…