Prudence's profile at Help.com

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• For the first time in my life everything seems to be going great, i have my own place, i have a good steady job and im in love with my bf. posted (6 months, 2 weeks) ago
  A year ago I signed up with the Department OF Defense, and they just called on me to go to iraq for …

• I need help finding out what kind of dog this ishttp://uk.youtube.com/watch? posted (1 year) ago
  v=3l7LbSMA-AA…

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Prudence's Top (4) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) ok so i found my father and i dont no what to do im so scared.
  

  wanting to have a relationship with your father is more than normal. but having a relationshipp with a father that has an abusive past is alil tricky you have to be strong enouph to put boundries and limits for your relationship. Try it out…why not? if you think that you have the strentgh to stay safe and maintain those boundries it would a wonderful fullfilment for that part of your life.
  I would suggest however that you dont give him any personal information about u like where you live, go to school, work, your partner’s full name….just stuff like that…remember he has to earn your trust and you deserve to have him work hard to have a relationship with you. Take your time with him, take it slow and I hope that it works out. But please remember to keep your guard up and look for all of the red flags incase he is still abusive….Good luck and God Bless
  
  - written 1 year ago – voted for by chunkymove

• (1 vote) please help i am in an abusive relationship and i
  

  Marianna, its very simple…you are holding yourself responisible for the choices that they are making. you are not your bf mother and you are not the caregiver for his parents. I am mostly concerned about your safety. you sound ike you are on the right path with your career but the rest of you life is falling apart. Leave him and his parents. they are no good to you and you need to stay clear of their path. sooner or later someone will report them and when that happens you dont want to get mixed up in the shinanigan and have everything that you worked so hard for go for nothing. Secondly if you are really worried about them and their drug use you should know that addicts can only afford their addiction mentally, physically and even money wise because they have people like you areound them. Its a well known fact that if addicts had no one to turn to they would not be addicts anymore. They cat survive without their enablers (YOU). I know it sounds harsh but you owe to yourself to leave. and I hope that you will have the will power and the courage to do so. The guilt, pain and sadness will get worse before it gets better but eventually you will be able to look back and c that you made the right decision. Good luck and God Bless
  
  - written 1 year ago – voted for by chunkymove

• (1 vote) How can I stop loving someone ASAP?
  

  LOVE DOES NOT HURT and that is what you have to believe…what ur feeling is not love it is attachment to the norm and longing for a routine of abuse. congratulations on doing the first step; recognizing that u r being abused. The second step is to `step on ur heart“ or so to speak, and leave him…believe me…i have been in that situation all u have to do s detox urself from him and it will get harder before it gets easier but eventually he will become just another bug that happened to be on the windshield of ur life…so wipe him off! good luck and god bless
  p.s. I would strongly suggest u staying independent and not dating any1 else for a while. until u find urself again and redevelop ur own identity seperate from ur abuser.
  
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago – voted for by ambrutellow

• (1 vote) What would be the best way to get my ex girlfriend to go back out with me?
  

  well i guess what the problem is that she might feel like she cant depend on u cuz ur just gonna leave when life gets difficult. this can play out in 2 different ways; 1. she could have a strict “if he bails im never gonna b with him again” policy. 2. is that she would take u back if u proved that u would go through hell and back to get her back….never back out of a fight…women need to know that they can depend on u being there for them when life gets difficult. Good luck and try and read the signs right take the hints she gives u…dont give up but dont turn into a stalker.
  
  - written 1 year, 2 months ago – voted for by Morgan

Last 5 Replies – All 85 replies »

• Why is Thanksgiving such a Big Deal in the United States?
  

  Lots of Americans care about what is going on in the world but we cannot stop our holidays and our special occasions everytime some sort of disaster strikes the world….otherwise we would NEVER celebrate everything. Listen I understand the concept of America to the rescue! but the truth is that the world didnt exactly stop celebrating when 9/11 happened and Katrina struck…so sorry
  - written 1 year ago

• Does he still love me?
  

  just ask him…from what it sounds u have nothing to loose but much to gain if the man u love feels the same way about u
  - written 1 year ago

• How is your online “help.com” persona different than your real world character?
  

  very different…here ppl listen to me and even take my advice. I can use my life experiences to help others that believe that im insightful and have good words of advice. on the outside my life is full of problems …hauntings from the past..a juggly present and uncertanty about the future and everybody thinks im an angry person. ppl c me for who i am here. i love it
  - written 1 year ago

• Christmas Help
  

  lol…u have a problem…i feel ur pain. she is not romantically special to you so just ask her….let her give u a list and choose one that u can afford….girls are not hard to figure out…just ask!
  - written 1 year ago

• what do i do if im being verbally abused at home
  

  [quote cabesa de fuego]I’m sorry, but if there isn’t a threat of or any physical violence, you are experiencing very normal family affairs. If you feel like you are in danger of physical harm, call the police. Otherwise just yell back at them and deal until it stops or you can leave.[/quote]
  
  actually verbal abuse can b much more damaging and harmful than physical abuse. the old saying “sticks and stones can hurt my bones but words dont mean a thing” is the biggest lie ppl tell their kids. word not only hurt but can actually “brainwash” people. verbally abusive people are very manipulative and can make their victims actually believe what they are saying. Also verbal abuse is not just sisters fighting over a sweater or a parent complaining about the car with an empty tank of gas. It is humiliation and degrading…it is constant putdowns, and a kick when your down.
  I feel your pain and all I can say is fighting back is not gonna solve your problem…you need live with them until you canleave safely and you will experience true freedom….good luck and God bless
  - written 1 year ago

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