BadInfluence23's shoutbox - Help.com

Hey…

How you been lately?
Everything under control Miss Bad_?

hmm…well you’ve gone from sad to hot - quite frankly, i like the hot - so, what are you (guys) up to these days? that is assuming there are 2 of you…Will :D

If you are the one in your new avatar smilin’…what I have to say is:

“That’s more like it.”

Nice to hear from you, been a a long time.
=)

“…but honestly, its the “thought of love” im in love with…”

Yea. I understand that,’cause I find myself in that same position sometimes. To me its the “loving feeling” we long for, we just mix it all up in emotions, thoughts, and get a lil’ desperate at times.
Its hard.

“its jus dealin wit it, i hav troubles with… i don’t take my own advice, mayb cuz im stubborn, alil ignorant, but im hopeless romantic, wat i can say… “

Well, I have not heard of one person who has found it easy going through a heartbreak not mattering how little it has been. I take my own advice Bad_, but believe me I can hate myself sometimes for that, its definitely not easy.
You eventually see that you prevented yourself a lot of unnecessary pain, grief, sleepless nights, heartache and a bunch of unwanted feelings by taking the right decision.
You are not ignorant nor stubborn (i dont think so’) all I see is what I have told you before. I think you can commit, I think he’s the shady one who’s not ready. You’re good, and I’d give you a hug for that.

Stay the way you are Bad_, single mom’s are usually very loving, kind and affectionate pieces of heaven. I might not know you, but I wouldn’t say you are the exception to being that.

I hope you are doing well and if you want to talk about anything, you know I’ll be around…now put a smile on that pretty face dammit.
=P
Take care.

I know what you mean ………it’s BRUTAL !!!Good Luck !!!

hi, nice pic - thoughtful, a little sad - how are you? is there anything i can do to help - ive been told that im a good listener, so tell me about it, if youd like to…Will :)

I glanced at that pretty picture of you knowing you were felling down , I just stopped by to see if you’re feeling any better …………………RON.

“& now everythin is goin wrong in front of my eyes… seems like everytime I try to better myself alil, alot goes wrong”

A lot will seem to go wrong for some time. Its still too early in your hurt. As long as you have the right mindset and accept it, you will heal. It will take time though.
From personal experience, after 5 to 6 months after I decided to breakup, now is when I started to feel to get back together, but thats just me. I did cut contact w/that person though, and had no one in between, just me.

If you let someone in a relationship walk all over you, you will eventually stop being who you are, you will become submissive and Idk how someone can settle and be happy in that situation.

Shout me out whenever you feel like it. Ill be more than glad to try and make you feel better.
I hope you and your kid are fine. Take care.

Read your post.

Still feeling the same?
Im listening.

BTW, you mad at me or something?

Whoops this turned out long,
Enjoy.

I just noticed you shouted yourself lol

Came across to leave you a “whats up?” and found a response from you to yourself aimed at my previous shout =P
In other words: “I never recieved it in my shoutbox.”
But im here.
Is that the face you put (like the one in your avatar) when you read my responses Bad?

Thanks for listening.
Im usually “brutally” honest with expressing what I think but in a respectful manner.
I take your feelings into consideration.
I understand how you feel.

I am not here to offend you. I just want you to maybe see things a little more “out of the box”. In the end, you are the one who decides.
I can only tell you what I feel is right, and believe me I act on what I say, if not, I would be very hypocritical.

You are a good person even though your screen-name expresses the opposite. I know it. A good hearted well intentioned person usually expresess vulnerability and you are showing it. That “wishful thinking” “hopeless romantic” view are other characteristics of a loving person.
I just think that he can hurt you, he needs to be sure.
He’s supposed to be flat out sure he wants to be with you.
Believe me or not…I think more about the emotional status of your son. You may remember that whatever decision you take, he will be directly effected by it (positively or negatively), he’s #1 and any man that wants to be with you must understand that the little one is #1 ALWAYS (unless of course you are a bad mom that doesnt give a crap about their kids etc..)

Can you answer me these questions:

1. What do you mean by :”i was blissfully ignorant bein single”? How were you “blissfully ignorant”? Examples?

I dont get it.

2. How did he “try soo hard, like months,” to get you to open up?
Blabbering and promising away?

Stand up for yourself and think of what you would like in a relationship. What your standards are. Dont settle for what someone feels like giving. Ask, talk, expect. Balance the actions w/the words.

-What things did he do to demonstrate or CONVINCE you that he was the man you were to expose your child to and he be a resonsible partner?

-Is he “Prince Charming” or is it you thats afraid to be alone and willing to settle w/him no matter how he treats you?

-Would you invest in a “relationship” with someone who doesn’t know if you are the one for him?

Thats it for now.
I hope you are feeling better, but let me know how you are doing.
Take care of yourself and stay cute.

i kno, im facin the truth, im listenin to you, its jus super hard for me right now to think any different cuz we pulld eachother back in, im waitin for sumthin, mayb im jus waitin to get my heart broken, but watever it is i can’t seem to move on, really ive tried, theres still a chance until theres no chance, im not a easy person to open up, he did it, i was blissfully ignorant bein single & he tried soo hard, like months, to get me to open up… i don’t kno why im doin this to myself, its never happend like this…i kno i hav to move on but don’t kno why im not makin that first step…

To me…from my point of view, you are lost.
Not thinking with your brain.

So “move in with me and lets see?” and all you think is: “i don’t wanna move in wit him cuz i don’t want him to be my taxi…”
Yea, everything will get better, (sarcastically speaking).

You sure? With all thats happened, all I dont know that you know, and lets not forget your son.

Sincerely WTF.
Where is your mind.
What is it you want so desperately?

You dont seem to have used your experiences to its full potential.

I rest my case Bad.
Maybe I think too differently based on my personal experiences, idk, but thats what I think.
I would not like you to be hurt, your kid deserves a stable caring relationship too.

i kno its jus self destruction waitin to happen, but jus recently he says “move in wit me and see if this is the real thing” but i jus lost my vehicle recent. so i moved in wit my sister to save enough money to get another vehicle… i don’t wanna move in wit him cuz i don’t want him to be my taxi… that will jus make a damper on wat we hav… so ???? iuno

“he told me to keep my options open…”

Wow, thats almost like a disrespect in my eyes. Its like saying…”let me f’around a little and you stay put, but I dont guarantee you’ll be “the one” cause maybe Ill find someone but you keep me company in the meantime, Thats the s*it I can offer you for now”

One word: BACKUP!
or 2 words: “Second Place”.

Do as you like.
You think the “man” you love would say that to you?

IMO, wake up Bad. Look out of the box. Think, dont set yourself up for more pain.

What type of “love” says that?
Would you say that to him?

“he says when hes ready for a relationship, there is a chance it won’t be wit me…”
There you go + 6 months break up (right?).
What don’t you get?

“im a baby, but ive been thru hell and back over a dozen of times, i hav experience, which has made me bitter and resentful to the opposite sex…”

Because of the same 2 guys?
(childs dad and now this dude?)
(dont include high school drama here)

I dont think he hates her, he just wishes she never cheated. He needed (NEEDS) to be over his ex. He needed time.
Coffee?
Get it figured out, lay it all on the table, tell him what you expect…remember you have a 2nd heart that needs to be highly taken into consideration, (I bet you he surely doesnt want to see mommy suffer) you are supposed to be a mom before anything else (I assume you know this).

“the “trusting all the way no BS long lasting open communication no fear etc” love.”
You just have to find someone that wants the same and expresses it.
Thats the hard part.

Good luck.

“its jus ppl can’t give me advice for i don’t even understand… “ your correct…
i understand that you think im a baby, but ive been thru hell and back over a dozen of times, i hav experience, whcih has made me bitter and resentful to the opposite sex…
yea i want that relationship but sh*t scared to feel those feelins (the “trusting all the way no BS long lasting open communication no fear etc” love.)
we honestly do love eachother, but we both are really scared…
his moms moved away when he was 16, they still spoke, she jus came back into his life, the month that we startd datin she moved back…
we both needed companionship, we both want sumthin, but we are both not ready…
he says he not over his ex, but doesn’t love her nemore, actually he has said he hates her… they jus hav to be civil bcuz they hav a baby together also…
when he did dump me before, i got jealous for sumthin he did online, then i scared him away, a week before that tho, i got scared & i wantd to end it (he didn’t let me) then when i kinda showd i was over-protective he ran, soo unfair… but we remaind datin (seein eachother) everybody still knew we were… but its soo confusin… we are friends, but we love eachother… im goin for coffee with him this week to figure everythin out…

“iuno =i don’t know.”

So then the answer to my question would be “no”.
Funny.

“its jus ppl can’t give me advice for i don’t even understand… “

What?
Do you mean “People cant give me advice for what they dont understand?” or “for what I dont even understand” ?
As you can see Im bilingual but my internet vocabulary or dialect is not that advanced.

Bad,
You are just a baby (not in a bad way) that wants to be loved. The type of love you want is that secure type, the “trusting all the way no BS long lasting open communication no fear etc” love.
How long was it that he left his mothers child relationship when he met you?

True that he wasnt prepared.
He was with you probably because he wanted someones companionship but he most likely still loved his ex (Here is why I ask how much time bla).
And if there is still communication w/her he could still be wanting to work things out with her. idk
Didnt he give you closure or an explanation (w/facts = not the “im just not ready”)? What led to your decision?

Maybe he realized he needed some time to heal (this is VITAL). I dont know the details of your situation, Im talking out of things I have seen.
You have a child of your own, not all guys are up to that responsibility, only men are, (you know this too).

Lead me to the post (if you posted this, and I’ll check it out) I need some details. I understand your feelings.

I’ll give you the best advice I can.
Dont drink much.
Its good to hear from you.

iuno =i don’t know.
me and this guy brought our own problems into the relationship… he jus got outta a 6 1/2 year relationship wit his bb’s mother, she cheatd on him. we didn’t want to rush things but it happend, we both aren’t ready, we understand… its been 6 months now… its jus ppl can’t give me advice for i don’t even understand…

By “iuno” you mean “you know” right?

Bad, I dont know what your case is but insecure guys that treat a woman bad and find themselves alone usually crawl back with some acting and a little begging, and if you have been his only relationship theres more of a probability. Is he your little prince’s father or is this another guy?

I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. Take care.

How is your heart doing?

LOL!
Nice of you to think of me that way…
Cya around…

my pleasure

MalaInfluencia23,

Still feeling anxious?

Oh!
BTW, nice to have u as a frient
TNX!

That happens at times,
then kinda learned not to use certian phrases which activated the filter…
Totally messes up your groove dosent it…

I just read your profile , your mysterious as well as beautiful.CIAO.

No ……………………Thankyou !

“BEAUTIFUL EYES”

You kinda know what to say in a positive way. Thats good.

What is it that you think about a lot? Anything bothering you?

Couple of years younger than me. Still a baby in my eyes.
No offense (I know how women usually get when someone mentions “age” and stuff) but by your avatar you looked to me a little older.

You’ve been thru a lot?

BadInfluence23 wrote:
behind the semi-smile, a million a 1 thoughts are goin thru my head at once :) but its not all negative, probably why im on this website, helpin others makes mefigure out things in my own, cuz i give good advice ppl say, but for as long as i member i never took my own advice… this helps me alot, puttin things in perspective…

I can imagine.

Is the 23 in your screen-name your age?

BadInfluence23 wrote:
(because of my avatar??) im great, thx… you?

Yea, I thought you were a little sad or something by your avatar, your look, I felt like if you had something behind that semi-smile and just wanted to ask if you were OK. Glad to hear you are great.

Thanks for the shout.

Too bad he closed the post…

Hey!
what was the reply about?
Curious…

Bad,
Ive seen you around in a couple o’ replies and just wanted to ask (because of your avatar) how are you ?

understandable. sunday is my scheduled lazy/boring day… i luff it :D