bluegreen's reply history at Help.com

thank you; you are not alone, remember there are many of us out here who feel this way. and we are very cool, we are awesome! :) take care!

well, accepting helps a bit for me because it robs the feelings of their power somewhat in the sense that i might know they’re there but i don’t have to do anything about them. but even so, what i wrote about finding other things that work for you could be helpful. the self-esteem issue is a big one for me too and that is why changing my environment was so helpful because it got me out of myself. trying to do it alone is harder, but having a different environment can help pull you up and out. when you aren’t thinking about yourself as much, then there is chance for release. being in nature, doing art (which can be painful but also structured and interesting because it’s about you but also about the art), helping a rescued animal, whatever, there are things, maybe you will find other things that are for you, that could be like changing the channel, swimming in another river, you know, just flipping a switch and coming at reality from a different direction where your self-esteem is not so much a part of things and you can just honestly, i’m not kidding, enjoy life; it’s actually possible. it happened for me. life is huge and interesting. you have to keep fighting for yourself. you have to be your own best friend.

i think i understand where you are coming from. i have the same kind of impulses. the thing for me is not really to ignore them or fight them, it’s more like acknowledging the feelings and impulses are there and not judging them or trying to suppress them, but totally accepting them and yourself just the way you are, while knowing this is not the same thing as acting on them.

the next thing, that helped me anyway, is to find some things, just other things that you have not done yet. just because you haven’t found the thing doesn’t mean that it’s not out there. it just means you haven’t found it. for me it was art and writing. (i started by just closing my eyes and writing.) and being able to get extremely away, meaning like out of the city and into some breathtakingly beautiful nature, something good that just completely gets you into another environment so you are reacting to or merging with that or whatever instead of your normal place and normal mindset. even having a dog around can do that, having something kind of holy and amazing like a dog, something pure and real to take care of and to love, this can help you coexist with whatever pain, not that it’s not real or not there, but something amazing like nature or art or a dog (or whatever it is that will work for you, i promise) these things can bring your attention to something else, something new, something good. and sometimes that’s all it takes to give you the strength to cope and even more and more at times to be — happy.

Be sure you have someone proof your essay for grammar. Not everything can be caught on spellcheck. Like, it’s WHERE I have to convince….

Anyway, I actually wrote an essay like this when I was in high school. I was in Catholic school and at the time against uniforms. Now, I guess I just don’t care! So here are a few pros and cons:

PRO:

You don’t have to think about buying a lot of expensive clothes or figuring out what to wear every day.

Your school gets an identity when students wear a uniform.

It usually looks nice and neat to the casual observer.

CON:

Unless your school voted for this, you don’t get a say in how you are dressing every single school day and that can be annoying or even depressing. You might have the way your uniform looks but you have to wear it anyway.

You don’t have to compete with wealthier people if everyone wears a uniform, but hye, you are going to have to deal with not having as much money as some other people once you graduate, so you might as well start coping with it now. It’s life.

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The main thing is, just figure out what you think about it and be honest; write your essay as if you are writing a letter to a friend and everything will be okay. There is no wrong or right answer here; it’s just about expressing what you think. Have fun!

maybe you can do some online research or talk to a guidance counselor about your career options, take a personality test that will help you find careers that may really interest you. even if you had to switch to another college or even a trade school, as long as you had a definite idea, your family would be more accepting of your choice. remember, if you find something you love and are good at, college or some other program will become a lot more fun because it will all make sense for your future. and it is your future, not your family’s. and if it’s other people that are making college not fun for you, forget about ‘em. focus on what you want to do for yourself and be your own best friend.

maybe a school counselor or minister could help, since your mom doesn’t have any advice. if it is too late for an abortion or if you are scared or confused about that, and you decide to have the baby, you might give it up for adoption to a family that has been trying to have a baby and would give it a good home. you need the help of adults right now and they can help you with the details. you won’t be alone in this and you will be giving the baby a good life. i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. good luck, honey.