faroudja51's profile at Help.com

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• I have recently posted about getting dumped by my girlfriend/common law wife of 6 1/2 years, 4 kids, house, etc… It has been nearly a month and a posted (1 year, 1 month) ago
  have recently posted about getting dumped by my girlfriend/common law wife of 6 1/2 years, 4 kids, …

• girlfriend of 6 1/2 years broke up with me 1 month ago. posted (1 year, 1 month) ago
  We have 4 kids, and house. I tried working it out and showing my changes, but she said the changes a…

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• I have recently posted about getting dumped by my girlfriend/common
  

  I have recently posted about getting dumped by my girlfriend/common law wife of 6 1/2 years, 4 kids, house, etc…
  It has been nearly a month and a half, last week she talked to me about there being a chance for us if she could believe the changes I have made in life are here to stay for good this time. And if should could trust they are here to stay. I know they are, as I am not willing to lose everything again. I lost it once and will never take the chance of losing it again. Since then we have hung out the past six days for many hours at a time, talking, working on a friendship in hopes that it can lead to a future. Friendship can build the trust. I am strugglin on a daily basis, being that she is wanting to believe but not believing yet. She must be willing or she would not let me back in and because she went from us not ever being a possibility to maybe. She said she just woke up one morning and said she wanted to believe and give me the chance. She has however, admitted to having casual sex with a old friend a few times. But since we have been talking she said the need to call him has not been there, she claims to have only called him for the comfort. But she now has my friendship, so there may be no need in the future. I love her and would do anything to get her back and keep her. I want my home and family back. SHe said things are progressively getting better with us, but I want to know if I can prove to her quicker or do other things. I respect her honesty. What else can I do? How long can this take? She said lets see how the next few months go. But she is not putting her life on hold for me, taking an opportunity if it comes her way, she is not looking for a relationship with anyone else right now. Am I doing all that I can? I do not call her, she has been calling me. Has anyone been here before? I know that this is the real thing (true love). But I have hurt her ( emotionally) before and she is not ready to give me the opportunity to hurt her again. Others have hurt her too, and that is not working in my favor. I know if I get the chance i will keep her and eventually marry her. Please help, need to get through this one, and get her back. She keeps saying how does she know i am not just doing this to get her back, and once I have her, slip back into old ways. She has never given anyone this kind of opportunity in the past I am the only one to get this chance. How do I make this happen quicker. Does anyone know what i am going through
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• girlfriend of 6 1/2 years broke up with me 1 month ago.
  

  never cheated on her but I made promises, and broke them. My word or promises now means nothing. Her biggest thing is that my smoking pot led me to not spending enough time with her or the kids. I took them for granted. I started lacking on the affection towards her over the past couple years. She got to the point that I was only affectionate when I wanted something from her. I see it now, but that’s not how I felt. I have always had the same amount of love for her. I changed my ways in the past but then regressed. She is wondering how long my changes will stay, and she doesn’t want to get hurt again. I understand this and just want the opportunity to show her that I will never take the opportunity to hurt her or take her for granted. I see my mistakes and just want the chance to prove that my changes are here to stay. My fear is that she says she will not put her life on hold for me, she is not looking for anything, but is prepared to take an opportunity if it comes her way, and she encourages me to do the same. But she has now told me she has a friend who she has no emotional attachement to, she calls him when she needs something(sexual only), they have a mutual agreement that is all the two want. She is in control and says it is her that calls him. They have been friends for a long time and I fear it could lead to more. I am ok with this (though it does hurt), as we have broken up and are not in a relationship anymore. She felt it right to tell me this because she is wanting honesty between the two of us and there has always been honesty. She also feels that I need to know this if we ever decide to have a relationship in the future. Our relationship was always a very sexually active one, minimum 1-3 times a week, even with kids. She says what she is doing right now is only sexual, and does not anything from this guy. She keeps telling me that the odds of finding someone in the near future are rare, “single mom, 4 kids, breastfeeding 6 month old, overweight”. I keep telling her to think higher of herself, that she is beautiful, gorgeous, and a great person. She says, only to me. I am really lost in all this. Has anyone some insight, I am not ready to give up on us. She is not willing to trust me yet and fears my changes will not stick, there is nothing I can say that will make her believe. I am doing the changes, my actions are making her see, but will that be enough to give me the opportunity.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

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