Bella.'s shoutbox - Help.com

Ignore me, please!

Hi, I also like saying hi randomly, how are you.

RANDOME HELLO!!!

hmm…well, hi…r u new here?…im Will…

DumdeDum. You’re online and British and for some rare reason inspired me to contact you :P

So, urm, hi. I really didn’t think this through…

You must not be familiar with the TV show “House”. Dr. Foreman is a character on it. ;p

“so heres the deal: me and my friend were kinda teasing, joking around with this kid the way 14 year olds do with their friends.”

“Its like it just snuck up on me! suddenly i have only 3 short years to decide on what im going to do for the rest of my life! 3 shorts years, ill be all alone, 3 short years, ill have to make the decisions! i cant handle it!”

“And thats all at my freakin’ SCHOOL! i cant take this anymore, here i am, someone who APPARENTLY was raised sheltered. I mean, 9th grade, and im hearing girls say […]”

Took about 5 minutes to find some of Dr. Foreman’s posts. I peg him to be around late-15-to-early-16 years old. Hardly a grown man. Don’t let trolls fool you into thinking they’re more than they are.

Just to humour me, try taking this test. It might give you a place to start.

http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm

Before I go, though, I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself. A few years ago, I started to have some serious problems with anxiety and depression and other feelings that I didn’t want to feel. It came shortly after a surgery I had and no doctor could really give me a better answer than “you’re depressed, here’s some medicine”. Of course, the medicine didn’t really cure me, and I gave up my job, my apartment, my health, a lot of my friends and basically gave up on living a normal life. After beating this drum for four years, though, I finally DID find a doctor who helped me and some treatments that could amount to a cure. I am not the same person as I was before, but that’s ok…I am still *A* person, and that’s enough for me.

The reason I mention this is that I want you to know that it’s never too late for anyone - especially you. There are people who have lost far more than me - who were literally inches from their own death because of drinking or drugs or whatever - and lived to experience recovery. Not only recovery, but some of them didn’t’ actually LIVE until after that time. I know that whoever I was before and whatever my life was like before it changed, it held only a fraction of the potential that it does now that I’m older. So please don’t give up on yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself just yet, than at least believe in me, because I believe in YOU and that’s no small thing. :)

Whew. Thank you, Bella for replying. Really, I thought maybe my help just sounded like a bunch of nonsense.

It’s strange that your councilors haven’t gotten farther along, because, simply based on the few things I’ve read here, I think you are def. within the realm of savable. The feelings you describe sound, to me, like very specific diagnostic problems, but because I am not a doctor, I can’t really make that determination. I would also hate to tell you something and lead you in the wrong direction, because I know how confusing this seems already. I do have some small suggestions, however. I think you should try putting some of your problems down in words. If you can, sit and write a letter to an imaginary doctor, telling him or her exactly what you WOULD like to say in their office, but can’t. If that’s still too close to the mark, you can try keeping a journal documenting your feelings, up and down days, etc. You’ll have to be really specific in this journal, like “Today it took me a half hour to lace up my shoes because I had to do it 36 different times before it felt exactly right.” Or “Today at 10 AM I felt wonderful and full of energy but now at 2 PM I feel really depressed and I don’t want to do anything.” When you have the chance to meet with a therapist, you can present them with your letter or journals or both and tell that that it shows your life from your point of view. Honestly, some people - like you and I, perhaps - communicate more effectively when they write. It’s absolutely nothing wrong with you - in fact, it shows a lot of creative potential in your thinking.

Now diagnostically, that *SHOULD* give your doctor a clue as to what your thought process is like. In point of fact, they should actually be giving you a written test to inventory your personality and things like that. A lot of this stuff might even come out on there, so If they haven’t done that yet, I’m am forced to question the quality of the doctors you’re seeing. That brings up another point - without a bigger window into your life, it’s hard to recommend exactly what type of specialist might best suit you. My feeling is that the best place to start is with a clinical psychologist who perhaps has a specialty in anxiety disorders. School counselors are lovely for getting you into college and teaching you study skills, but some of this is going to be well beyond the scope of their abilities.

So that’s a place to start anyway…

… I’m sorry.

Hello, Bella. I just replied to sommat you posted about a month ago. I didn’t realize, however, that you live in the UK, meaning you’ve got a slightly different healthcare system than we do here (in the States). I’m not sure how adroit they are at addressing mental health, but I’ve got a friend from the Midlands that was going through a bit of the same thing - couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, kept going back to doctors, etc.

Nevertheless, when I read that post, I saw quite a lot of different things going on psychologically. I’m not a doctor, but I really think you should keep perusing this, because many of these things are treatable. I hate to say medicine, but medicine might be the best option for you. The anti-depressants available here in the states, for example, are all pretty low-impact. For things like anxiety, depression, and obsessive thinking, they can really make a difference. Ultimately, though, a doctor should be steering you that way. If you’re just seeing school counselors, I would recommend finding a proper psychologist to work with you.

Anyway, you seem like a level headed girl. You write well and have a pretty good grasp on what’s going on in your head, even if you can’t fix it. This suggests you’ve got a bright future ahead of you. Just make sure you get there, ok?

I didn’t lie about my age (16 tomorrow..). And I didn’t lie about where I live.

I’m not going to talk to you anymore.

Which is why I’m going to say it tomorrow instead :)

I agree with you on the policy of thoughtful gift or no gift. That’s really bad, if I was you I would have cried and cried and run away from home.

Why the no friends and not doing anything? Do you just not like company or is it just circumstance? I bet there are people out there that you would enjoy hanging out with and even if you didn’t it’s got to be better than sitting around at home on your own. Also they would get you presents and birthdays would be a fraction less disappointing.

By the way, I swear you said you were from the UK. But you’re talking dollars?

First you lie about your age…

People say “happy birthday for tomorrow” when they mean “Happy Birthday for Tommorow because I’ll likely forget or become disinterested by then”.

I haven’t had parties nor friends for a very, very long time. I will be doing nothing, much like every other single day of my summer break, same as any.

“Birthdays make me depressed too because they are always disappointing.”

This. A couple years ago all I got was some T-shirt my parents got me from some ‘5-dollars-or-less-store’ and some plastic math game from the same store. I actually wanted to cry (I don’t recall if I did) because the whole thing was so deeply hurtful that they’d care so little to /leave the tags on/. I really, really would’ve felt so much better if they had just gotten me nothing, like everyone else.

Atleast they had the decency.

The summer always puts me in a bad mood. So does my birthday, usually.

But I’m not drunk.

Why Whiskey? Do you enjoy feeling aggressive?

…I wouldn’t know, Bella.

You okay over there? o_O

Better than starting a big argument every time does it, I guess. I’m sorry.

Nah, I actually don’t have any pictures. I’m one of the few people who don’t have any myspace or facebook pictures that are actually of themself. I feel like such a loser. :p I had to write a report once and attach a picture, the only one I could find was an awful one I had taken at my last birthday. (next one’s tomorrow, whoo…)

But I’m not the one into art anyway. :p

Because I don’t like in the UK. ;]

Don’t the ‘hurrr you’re pretty’ replies bother you at all? I mean, they’d bother me, but I don’t have any pictures and no one’s ever complemented my looks, so. >_> Still, after writing all that, doesn’t it agitate you at all for someone to just scroll past all that and comment on your physical appearance?

I’m sorry that the only replies you got to your letter are buckets of fail. ._.

No, she was a girl, but she was my friend above ‘a girl’. Guess the point is lost. Sorry, got dragged out of my house to see a movie. :p

I said friend, not girl. … But yes, I suppose.

What’s with your habit of starting a conversation and walking away? I find that deeply hurtful. :p

There was a warm rain today. It reminded me of a time me and a very old friend walked in a warm rain for a long time. She walked bare foot. She musta some impressively tough feet, she never complained.

I just walked barefoot in the rain for 45 minutes. I have several blisters on my feet now. :u

Lol you said ‘gore whore’. That’s pretty awesome terminology you got thar.

If my glaringly large reponse intimidates you into not returning one of your own, I blame it on the fact that you asked so many questions while I was trying to write it. xD

Btw, if you try to find me on any of those, you won’t, because Twerty isn’t my exact name. ;)

I’m not that desperate to try to track down someone I only very fleetingly know over the internet. I have a feeling you don’t want to be found anyway. :p

Dunno Josie Long. :o

I won’t tell you about my video games if you don’t tell me about your fashion. :p

Webcomics are cool though. >.>

I have indeed heard of postsecret, looked at it a few time. It’s certainly an interesting site. Often disturbing, otherwise very interesting. :p Not iamneurotic.com though?

Yeah, myspace is also depressing because I mostly used it to pretend I could stalk people or something. I eventually deleted it because I wanted to stop feeling like a loser.

Blogging made me depressed because I was depressed at the time and writing makes me think and thinking while depressed usually has a tendency to make me more depressed. Or something.

http://boxbrown.com/?p=440 This is a really cute webcomic. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. And remember other times I felt warm and fuzzy. And then I remember why I’m not now. … I haven’t read any of them in a while.

Yeah, I hear you, I really do. I’ve just had terrible, terrible luck with maths the past few years. Don’t have a blog. Do you use it often? I was into blogging and writing once, but I felt it only made me terribly depressed, and I forced myself to stop after a few months. No facebook. A myspace, but I have like 5 friends on it (unlike everyone else who manages to have 300+) whom I never talk to. I have AIM with 150+ people… whom I never talk to.

I mostly spend my time playing ‘questionably obtained’ video games, reading obscure webcomics, and wasting time on sites like these. Oh, the joys of life.

What do you do on the interwebs besides Help.com, anyway?

>_>’ Seriously? I think I got around a 76 or something. About on par with my average performance on that course.

heyy bella how r u?

How did you do on that exam, anyway? :p

Really? Send photo. :)

Hi Bella. I read your comment/comments today regarding littlenick. I once needed help and I applied anon. and he made my post look like a joke until I had to say something, then he stopped. He’s not that bad compared to some others on here. Oh, one last thing, you should be a model. You are very pretty.

“The more people steer him away from going bowling the better. I think it would be a very unenjoyable day for everyone involved.”

Congratulations, with 7 minutes left before midnight, you’re the first person today to make me laugh, even if for a little bit.

The only point I have here is that flaming is stupid. I told you at the very beginning that you’d only start a flamewar over this, no matter how right or wrong you were, and here we are. >_>’ I have no point about littlenick. I am completely neutral. My only point is that the entire argument over him is completely retarded and no one’s ever going to ‘win’.

And it’s kind of ironic that I care more what the stranger on the internet thinks about me than how I care about people in real life think about me. Atleast the former aren’t /always/ jackasses.

Do me one favor and skip the drink part of your schedule, okay? You seem ‘hydrated’ enough already.

yeah, you put some REAL effort into stopping that whole ordeal. glad we have someone like you to enforce the seriousness of this business.

Go to sleep. You’re done here.

Aw, no fair. You made fun of his bowling thing in your post before I posted. Now I feel like I’m part of a cult worshiping you or whatever. :[ That’s what I get for trying to be witty.

Now, that’s IF I wanted to be a part of something. I kindly resign because I like to stick to myself and find peace in solitude. My ‘friends’ are there for me whenever I need and stick with me through everything. They would follow me into the depths of hell if I needed them too.
So. Enough of your pitiful attempts at insulting me and Good night. May you sleep well and never have to think back on this dilemma again. :)

That’s what you get for slowing down traffic by stumbling drunkenly across a bridge. >_>’

Yes, well. Someone has to help your drunken ass from falling off the nearest bridge.

So now you are calling yourself both? Fantastic.
Odd cult? Have you checked your little friend Twerty’s shouts lately? I come on here once every couple days to look out for an old friend. And I help other friends when I can. I also always stick to whatever side I believe is more just. Right now, that’s not you.
Did the poster ask for people to relate? No? Hm. Didn’t think so. ANYWAY, when you read over a post and decide not to answer it, are you not dismissing it as well? He speaks his mind more than you. So what?

If I wanted to feel a part of something I would call up a bunch of friends and go bowling or something. I’m secure, and littlenick doesn’t have a fanclub, I’m just good at getting into arguments. I defended him because I agreed with his side. If I saw that most of his posts were annoying and unhelpful, it would be him that I was shouting right now.

I blame you for starting all this. I LIKE sleeping, damnit.