kazb36's shoutbox - Help.com

Hi, yeah I left for a while. Got angry with the mods as one of their buddies was outta control and saying horrid things.. Wish the were better at weeding out the trouble makers.
Im good…. cold though, we have a frost this morning.
How u been?

i didnt like the my name on there. how r you ? just wanted the thank you for the repli on it .i have some real bad depreciation and it has messed up the marriage some what.

i was k bowen

hello?!
lol

lol my wife wanted to do new things in bed

heya! me fine? who u?

no prob, pleased to be needed.

Hey.
How are you doing?

hiii!! :) i’ve been very well & thanks 4 asking!
enjoying the holidays, eating tons…and planning a wedding! still working on my “santa wish list” he he ;-)

how about u
?? hows life treating u? gime thr 4-1-1!! :)

No problem. :)

Have you sat down and talked to her since? Like really *talked* to her, about everything?

Is she still doing the flirting and whatnot?

be good

yes we r i hope

Omgsh, I am so sorry. :( So, she flirts but has she been sexually involved with him?

‘Flirting’ is considered cheating in my eyes though - Hell, even thinking about a person in that way while in a serious/commited relationship, I consider to be cheating.

I don’t want to sound harsh, but how in the world can she do that? She acts as if it is no big deal that she is flirting with him because she ‘can’t help herself?’ That is no excuse! She is a grown woman and needs to love and respect you like she vowed to do. If she refuses to do that, you are better off without her.

It definitely sounds like you all need to sit down and have a long talk and decide what to do from there.

I am good. :) Thank you so much for asking.
How’ve you been?

hows this for pouring.i rubbed her feet after work….now thats a hell of a bunch of sug lol!

I’m glad it’s working! Pour the sugar on thick!

Hi HI!!! Thanks for the support!! :-)

u know the feeling when u find out that ur boyfriend is cheating ? and u cant get ur breath? u ever have that feeling?

Yeah, I know that feeling all too well.
Just got out of a relationship like that, not even a week ago. We were together for almost 6 years.

I was scared of the truth as well.. but honestly, when you ‘run away’ from it, you’re only going to hurt worse in the end. I did everything to ignore the red flags and the evidence, but sooner or later I just couldn’t get past it anymore.

15 years really is a long time, that’s why you need to sit down and have a good conversation with her. Ask her everything you need to and go from there. She should be more than willing to discuss things.

3 hours late?!

You need to sit down and talk to her. Ask her politely what is going on.
She needs to be upfront and honest with you because she looks shady.

If it were me, I wouldn’t allow this to go on. Then again, I don’t have any experience being married or dealing with this type of situation. I do know though that she is disrespecting you by going out and spending time with this Justin guy, and she expects you to be okay with it.

That’s not your fault. The kids aren’t stupid ..even if they never would have overheard you, eventually they would have figured something out.

Do you think she could be having an affair? :/

How do her and ‘Justin’ act around eachother?

I mean, have you confronted her with her drinking in general?
How often does she go out?

I mean, honestly, even if she is unhappy ..she needs to be an adult and deal with the situation, not party and try and avoid it. She has a husband and kids she needs to care for and love. She’s neglecting it as of now, ..from what it sounds like.

When you found her hanging with all those people, did you sort of ‘confront’ her and ask what she was doing?
If so, what was her reply?

yes because of the anger.and when i talked to her about the driking. i was not mad

and i almost lost my wife so i went and talked to a dr and she put on antidepressants

Do you mean you almost lost her because of your anger?

then she started to go out for drinks after work.i asked not to drink and drive .that made her mad i told her i would come and get her.

I don’t understand why she would get upset. Even if you do have anger problems ..in this situation, I can only see that you were trying to assure her safety. She had no reason to get upset. — If anything, you should be upset. If my husband were the one doing this, I wouldn’t put up with it.

so i thought i would go down to th e bar and play pool. but she wasnt at the bar. so i was going to look at 1 more bar and on the way home i seen her truck at this guys house that she was carpooling with.

Hmm.
That’s very strange, especially since she is married and has children. Do you suspect that maybe she isn’t happy with her life ..that’s why she’s acting out like this?

ur cool hyde thanks. and i have and it works.lol

p.s. i’m the master pimp of women lol so i swear it’ll work….mine works and mostly i’m false but u love her so urs won’t be so it will really work cuz u really believe it!

oook well forget about it then.
Just put it out of ur mind and start over.
that is hard to do but u need to do it.
Then start out simple.
Tell her she’s pretty.
Tell her when she wakes up that she’s always so beautiful in the morning(u say it in the morning cuz that’s the time u always think u look bad)
Next always respond when she asked questions be cheesy …cheese is annoying but it get’s points…tell her she’s gorgeous for no reason and that she’s always pretty no matter what… just for no reason tell her she looks nice. Smile big at her..like u really mean it.
Give her flowers for no reason too but not right off like after 3 weeks of u telling her how nice she looks..lol this may sound dumb but i swear it works.
U just have to forget the miss trust.
Act like ur dating again …kiss her and tap her butt even like it’s wrong and ur being sneaky …add life to ur relationship again… she’ll remember why she loves u.

:( Yeah, with reason!
It’s very sad about your situation, specially because of your kids.
Do you think if you asked her to go to marriage councelling she’d be willing to??

Umm…
Well, I think it’s reasonable for you to not trust because she said she was going to be somewhere, and she wasn’t. She lied. So your not trusting her now is completely normal. Now, you don’t have proof that she is cheating. She’s your wife, and eventhough it may be hard right now to trust her, I think you should TRY to.
Maybe you can talk to her about how you feel. (Like you are doing now!) :) In a loving way. Without getting angry. Let her know you miss her. Let her know how you feel about her going out to bars and drinking and stuff. Try and get her to incorporate you in her outings!
Hopefully she wont mind. If she did, then I would say to worry then. :S
I know if I have someone I love, specially my husband, I want to do everything with them. Have them in life, and want to “hang” with him. Have you tried talking to her about how you feel???

i think u should just tell her that ur having trust problems cuz she said she was going to be one place and not the other…dude just tell her what u wrote here tell her what u were thinking and how u came across her car…how it started off that u wanted to join her in her new hobby and then when you couldn’t find her accidently found her and how it struck her as fishy and that u want to trust her but now ur kinda of confused if u should or not…u know? Just talk to her…girls like to talk about feelings and stuff.

ohhh u shouted urself….

i have had a anger problem for a long time.i dont beet on anyone but i lose my temper.well it got worst after my grand ma died 2 years ago. and i almost lost my wife so i went and talked to a dr and she put on antidepressants .and they have helped with that.my wife started a new job before she was a stay at home mom of 4 .now she is in school in day time and work 4 nights a week.well after a year. of work she started to come home late.a couple times i went down to see if her car brook down and she was just chatting in the parking lot. then she started to go out for drinks after work.i asked not to drink and drive .that made her mad i told her i would come and get her. but not to drink and drive.well i was out of town at my sisters house and i allways stay late. but this night i had a bad feeling so sis watched the kids and i came home. found a message from the wife saying she was going out to the bar to play pool with friends. so i thought i would go down to th e bar and play pool. but she wasnt at the bar. so i was going to look at 1 more bar and on the way home i seen her truck at this guys house that she was carpooling with.so i stopped and went up to the door and the looks on there faces was likes oh …..there was 2 guys 3 girls and they where all drinking and playing cards at first she jumped off of the bar stool and came out side and asked me what i was doing? and if i wanted to go home i told her no letts go in and play games.we did and then went home she was drunk and i found out that she had been there before. just to play games so know i dont trust her. she says nothing was going on but io dont know .i was her first and i cant beleve she would do that . but i didnt think she would lie to me soo what do u think..??

lol that’s cool..i took off that picture lol

then go for it!!!
i’m all ears…
well, in this case…all eyes!~ he he! :)

hey~
here to listen!
whats on your mind?

i was