An Unknown Location
Don’t discount me for not giving up all of my personal information on this site. The internet can be full of creeps, and I’m not here to invite them in for tea. ;) On the contrary, I’d like to help in any way I can, as best I can. I hope I can help you out! ^_^
saitokonek's Top (1) Replies by other users' votesI thought I’d check back with you and see how things were going.
I realize you didn’t have much use for anything I had to say earlier, but it’s good that you found people here you felt comfortable talking to.
I have to caution you, however, that even though you may be getting a lot of warm fuzzies from a few people about not changing yourself and that everything’s just roses with you, it seems - from what you yourself have said - that you realize your attitude about your relationship with your boyfriend is a big part of this problem. After you’ve allowed the others to temporarily soothe you with gentle words, please don’t forget to find some way to seek help for yourself if you honestly want your relationship to improve. It *can* be done, if you face it and get the courage together to do it.
It’s all too easy for others to take the knee-jerk route of “Oh, he’s just an abuser for slapping you,” but I don’t think they’re really looking deeper, examining the things you’ve said through this post, and realizing that your attitude really may be driving the man to complete frustration with you - to the point where, yes, he slapped you. Bear in mind, I’m not saying that it was necessarily *right* for him to slap you.
Cutting is not something to be taken lightly, and it would be a shock to anyone to, after you’d gotten on his case about HIS OWN email which honestly gave no indication of foul play on his part (on the contrary, you made it sound as though it had something to do with him finalizing the divorce…which is ordinarily a good thing), to come home and find you bleeding all over the place with a raging gash. Again, please keep in mind that I’m taking all of this from your own words in this post. For all anyone knows, in Spain it might be culturally acceptable for a man to slap a woman, in which case, he would not have been doing anything especially out of line from his own cultural standpoint. He may have been trying to slap your mind back into place for having gotten carried away to the point where you *cut* yourself. Do you see what I mean?
The point I’m making is that, at the end of all of the gentle words from people - including myself - who mean well but don’t truly know what’s going on, you’ve only got yourself to deal with. It sounds like you know what you’re doing to damage the relationship, and it will be up to you to seek the help you need. It’s nice to have the guidance here from people willing to talk to you, but in the end, YOUR actions will make the difference.
I truly hope you do end up following through on your promises to stop being so suspicious and jealous, THOUGH, if he’s doing things that are causing you to be suspicious, I hope you’ll eventually find the strength to realize the guy’s enjoying tormenting you in his own little sick way, and leave him. Good luck to you, honestly.
- written 1 year ago – voted for by Katiebug637