Jamiee's reply history at Help.com

Don’t do it. It’ horrible and extremely hurtful to play with someones feelings for your own personal gain and it probably won’t end well for either of you. Find another way to help him to understand. Or just accept his mistakes. You can’t change someone.

Thank you for the advice mumstheword. I have joined a few work groups and am looking into joining some sports teams aswell. (Although I have to go to the doctors to get a medical first….stupid french rules! Lol)

I can’t drink, I’ve got work at 8am tomorrow morning.
I hate that people don’t like saying no. If I couldn’t make something, I would always let the person know. But maybe thats because I hate it when people don’t let me know. Lol.
I’ll deffo take your advice on considering the future but looking back just isn’t that fun for me.
Thanks for your help. You’ve made me feel a little less lonely at least :)

[quote ♥Rαvєr♥]Well to sum it all up… it looks like you rely on other people to be happy. You need to learn to create your own happiness. Look at the reality in front of you and take as much out of it as you can. Its time to rely on yourself now.[/quote]

Well the reality in front of me is that it’s my birthday and I’m alone. I’ve tried to make friends but theres only so much you can contact people with no reply until you start to look like a stalker.
I don’t rely on other people to make me happy. I am an independent person, I’ve been living on my own in France for the last year. I’ve managed to find myself somewhere to live both last yeas and this year. I struggled but managed to make friends last year. I’ve joined clubs both years to try and integrate and meet people.
I could maybe take your advice seriously but it doesn’t look like you’ve ever been sitting where I am right now. Sorry.

Lol well I’m here until june 2010. So not until my birthday next year but still a long time considering I’ve been away since september last year and was only home for about a month in total over the summer.
The thing that upset me the most was that I text them and I would of understood if they couldn’t come for a drink but the fact that no one replied really hurt. And one girl said she was in town and I went into meet her but we never ended up meeting cus she went home for dinner.

I’m not on a course I’m working. And I have met a few people but I feel like a complete outsider because they are all together at college and I feel like I’m alwas the one getting in touch with them after I finish work. I text them all inviting them for a drink to celebrate my birthday…None of them replied to my text.

[quote - Fourthings™ -]

Jamiee ~ My instant reaction to reading your reply was that you made the wrong decision, if you say you miss him and your relationship then how on earth could it have been worth it, and why not try to find a compromise between your career and him? But I digress… Yes, my Mother has absolutely offered me money she doesn’t have, and my Father does not support her decision at all, but it’s not his decision, as it’s not his money.

.[/quote]

Actually it turns out I made the right decision. My ex has turned out to be a completely different person to who I was in love with.
There was no comprimise I’m afraid. I had to come to France and he couldn’t leave his job. I couldn’t give up this opportunity. I’ve been intending to do this for aslong as I can remember.
Fair enough but your mother obviously thinks that going to VFS would be the best for you, hence why she is willing to give you money she doesn’t have.
Jamiee -x-

I would say go for VFS.
I say this from similar personal experience. I’ve lived in France for the last year studying and me and my boyfriend stayed together, doing the long distance thing. I have now returned to France to work here for a year. I decided to end it with my boyfriend a few weeks before I moved. It was the hardest decision I’ve almost ever had to make but for me it has been the right one. (As much as I miss everything about him and our relationship.)
At the end of the day, when it comes to education and career, I personally believe you have to do what is in you own best interests to better yourself and ensure that your future is all that it possibly can be.
I know that relationships are about two people and their feelings and joint decisions etc but I think you would regret not going to VFS.
You can go to Australia after VFS.
If it’s only one year there I think you will be able to manage living in Vancouver, even if you hate it so much.
If your relationship is meant to last then it will and your girlfriend would be able to understand that you need to persue your dream by going to VFS.
And about the money, if your parents are willing to pay that much for you to acheive your dream job then they are brilliant. Don’t worry about their finisncial problems, they wouldn’t offer if they really couldn’t afford it. Just make sure you pay them back when you have the amazing career you want. Lol.

Hope I’ve helped in some way,
Good luck,
Jamiee -x-

I don’t have any experience or wisdom to offer I’m afraid but I do agree with LazyDaze on this.
While I am not against abortion, I agree that if your husband definately did not want anymore children then he should have had the OP.
If you have always wanted more children then this should be seen as a great “mistake.” Your husband can’t make you get rid of your baby.
You accepted that he did not want more than two children, now he has to accept that you are going to have this baby. (If you understand my logic there?! Lol)

Good luck,
Jamiee -x-

You need your full name. Otherwise your exams will be accredited to someone whos name could actually be the name your school has.
Jamiee -x-

Hi, I know this is a while after you posted this but I haven’t been on for a while. Just wanted to wish you good luck.
You will be fine, if you have support from family and friends which I’m sure you will have everything will be ok.
At least you have let the father know and you know that he wants nothing to do with you or the baby so now you can concentrate on looking after yourself and becoming a mother.
My best friend just had a baby at 18 and she was so so scared but she has support and she is loving being a mother (her baby was born two weeks ago and he is beautiful, as I’m sure your baby will be!)
It’s no walk in the park as I’m sure you already know but at least at 20 you sound mature enough to cope. And if you can get it some practise at looking after babies it may calm your nerves abit.
I wish you the best of luck!
Jamiee -x-

If you’re husband isn’t going then I don’t think you should feel obliged to go.
If you do feel that you should go but are scared about bringing the children, then don’t bring the children. Just go on your own so at least your sister-in-law can’t be upset for no one going.
By the sounds of it, you don’t want to go at all and you shouldn’t feel pressured to go because surely you sister-in-law knows everything that has gone on so should understand your reasons for not wanting to go.
I think agree with Miss Jessica Bunny, that you should maybe arrange a separate, more private meeting with your sister-in-law to celebrate, explain to her that you don’t want to cause any problems on your nephews big day and that you would feel uncomfortable going without your husband.
Good luck -x-

You could just be stressed? Depends on how regular you normally are. I know people that can be up to two weeks late and they aren’t pregnant. So try not to worry too much.

From what I’ve read in your post, the attachment you have to the other guy is coming from you not being able to completely trust your boyfriend and he is basically pushing you towards this other guy without reaslising it by continually taking drugs and selling drugs even though he knows how much you dislike that side of him.
If you have already helped him get over heroin once before yet you found him taking it again, I think you need to tell him that as much as you love him you can’t be with someone who would put taking drugs before you.
It’s obviously not a good environment for you to be in considering how much you dislike drugs.
Before I met my boyfriend I did a lot of drugs. I would never touch heroin but I did do a lot of cocaine. My boyfriend knew this and asked me to stop. I did, I moved away from all my “friends” that I did drugs with and I was lucky enough to become friends with people that I had previously pushed aside for drugs.
Since being with my boyfriend I have only done cocaine once, and that was because I ended up seeing an old “friend” who rang me crying one night. She was a close friend before we started drugs and I went to help her out and when I got there it was on the counter lined up for us. I did it because it was there but immediately told my boyfriend. I willingly went back to my councellor and haven’t touched anything since.
Sorry abit of a ramble about myself but the point is, people give up drugs for people they love all the time, because they realise they need that person more than they need drugs. And unless your boyfriend realises that, you will always be second best to his drugs and you will never be happy, no matter how much he promises you that one day he will marry you and give up drugs. Unless that one day is today, you will end up wasting you life waiting for his addiction to be over.

Hope I’ve helped in some way,
Good luck -x-

If I were you I wouldn’t go to a college just because it’s where your girlfriend is going. I have friends that did the same thing and they broke up after like 3 months of being at the same college. Luckily they had both choosen to go for their own reasons and are still friends but it’s not advisable to go somewhere that may not be right for you just because your girlfriend is going there.
If you go to college in the same areas then you can always meet up in free time and on weekends.