julia1957's reply history at Help.com

I’ve been to SRS. They offered food stamps. I don’t understand how I got kicked out of a store for disaplining my child but these Fathers run rampid and nothing is done about it. Unfortunately the Father really poisoned the boys mind about his Mother who lives about 30 miles away. I keep trying to bring Mother and son together but so many lies and so much hatred is a play that who knows what the truth is. His Father never taught these kids forgiveness or tollerance. He has come to me for the last 5 years when he needed a Mother. Hopefully tommarow my husband will be moved to a nursing home here in town and I can spend much more time with him. We will be getting assistance from Hospice and hopefully they will be able to show me how to deal with watching him go. What a nightmare. It just seems to continue to get worse. I’m not sure how much more I can take. Thank you for your kind words. I truely pray that Karma was listening.

I’m in your shoes and completely understand. Are you in the USA? I found a wonderful program through the Federal Agriculture Dept. They helped me buy my first house and my payments were only around $200.00. There are now allot of Grandparents raising grandkids, and there is allot of help out there. HUD, SRS, AARP knows about reverse mortgages. I know it’s hard but be strong and knock on every door out there. You can’t get the answers you want if you don’t ask enough people. Good luck!!!

What a wonderful mind you have. You sound like my son. He is scarey intellegent and is so bored in school that he slips off into other worlds just because this one is so hum-drum. I got him involved in “Upward Bound” a program designed to inspire thought and creativity, along with preparing him for college. Think tanks are wonderful places. If you don’t have one in your area, start one. Put an ad in the local paper and have every one come together (pot luck or something) just to talk. Pick a subject of the week and let it go. I’m sure you will find you aren’t the only one searching for answers.

I appreciate the feed back. Thank you. Yes, I have told the parents. Not only about the financial but also about the fact that my husband is dying, and my boys and I need to deal with this in a very real way. I told them my property taxes were due. I have not only Christmas, but 2 birthdays. The Father has triple my income, in RailRoad Disablity. I let him know I have $900.00 a month to cover every thing and I was doing just fine until I got both his kids and he said. “Getting kind of rough isn’t it. Keep your chin up. Maybe I’ll get a child support check.” We all know he has bought booze with the last 3 checks. I tryed to keep money back for the girl. Her Father cornered her when she got off work and I don’t know what happened but she came in crying and took the money to him. I’m not going to support his liquor habbit. All 3 kids have jobs. But Freddy is still in high school and only brings in enough to pay for his car, which the Father has desided he can’t drive. My husband is 30 miles away in one direction and my sister is about 40 miles away in the oppisit direction. I have to be here at 7:30 to get the boys to school. 11:50 to get my son across town for his construction class. 3:00 to bring them home. 6:00 to get Freddie from wrestling practise to work. 8:00 to get Freddie from work. This Father is doing every thing in his power to make this hard for me. As for the law. This is “Good ole boy country” The men really stick together here. The police have known about the abuse for years and have done absolutely nothing about it. This Father gets into street brawls and drives around town drunk as a skunk and nothing is ever done about it. I’m helping the kids because it’s the right thing to do. I love these kids but my kids are having to do without and I’m sure they are tired of it. I really just wish I could go sit with my husband. These are our last moments together. Why can’t people see this? I guess I expected people to treat me with the same respect I treat them with. That’s what happens when you have expectations. Shame on me for not knowing better. Thank you for your kind input. At least I know I’m not being selfish and childish. You helped allot just listening. God Bless You!!

In Kansas