alishahazennapu's profile at Help.com

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• Feeling quite lonely and just wondering things that maybe i shouldn’t be wondering but i cant help it. posted (10 months) ago
  How do you know if you are doing the right thing? What makes things happen the way they do? I just…

• does anyone know how to hydrate a sick dog posted (11 months, 1 week) ago
  anyone know how to hydrate a sick dog…

• My dog is really sick… hes been throwing up all day, with a loss of appetite and energy. posted (11 months, 1 week) ago
  he hasn’t eatin anything new but just started vomiting this afternoon and several times since…

• is there any such thing as making money online without paying for something first or all they scams? posted (1 year, 10 months) ago
  Does anyone know of any legitimate money making tools online?…

• I need help with my dog. posted (1 year, 11 months) ago
  I have a little long haired dachsund that wont eat. I realize that it is probably mostly stress be…

• Now to all you women out there… this might make sense. posted (2 years, 4 months) ago
  I don’t think men have this problem the same way we do, so it might be a bit …umm……

• I think i need a doctor to help me with this one. posted (2 years, 7 months) ago
  Preferably one that is knowlegable with female anatomy. Ever other month my cramps are excruciati…

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• Feeling quite lonely and just wondering things that maybe i shouldn’t be wondering but i cant help it.
  

  IN HIS WORDS
  i often wonder what it would be like if things went differently. if some things didn’t happen and some things did. i just feel so lost. sometimes i zone out for days, which gets me more crap that keeps me going just like this. which is nothing, this is nothing. i can’t take the stress of this life i’ve been sold. i don’t want to die at all, i like it. i like fixing problems that no one else can fix. it’s pretty freakin sweet and all but i feel like i lack purpose or meaning. i know i felt meaning and purpose at one time. this time was a while ago, when i didn’t smoke cigarettes religously, when i was smart (when i felt smart,) when i had so much time to do whatever. back when i wasn’t afraid to speak up, back when i knew i wasn’t wrong. now i doubt myself constantly which causes other people to doubt me as well. it’s hard to do my job when all they tell me is that they did what i do (JANITOR) for like 30000 years or so. it’s so hypocritical of them to think this way because i know how they felt, i know what they were thinking. it sucks, totally sucks. they knew that then. i try not to forget where i came from but some people shove the whole bass acwards argument in my face. i just don’t get it. stubborn. this really doesn’t help though, there’s no one to vent to, just this. which no one will read. i know of only one person who would be able to relate, one person that would completely understand, one person who completely UNDERSTOOD me, the way i was. that person is so totally gone from my life, that person is ridiculed, singled out, beaten, out-casted, and thrown away… and it feels like it’s all my fault, and i’m sure this person believes it is my fault. there’s no way to apologize, no way to even contact them. well i could but this person doesn’t need me to be there at all, this person has a certain strength, a natural, hard-working, go getting strength that gets them through…a strength that i have always admired but never spoke of with them…most of the time everyone was playing us against each other…(this and that person will be referred to at TP from here on out) “TP is no good, a loser, better not go with TP” or “TP doesn’t know when to stop” **** like that is what i had to go through. and then people telling me about God and what i should and shouldn’t do drove me freakin crazy. i freaked and did something i never should have done and went completely ******* pysco (TP knows this) and then **** fell apart fast and went way farther than down hill…it probably would have been fine if we didn’t get pushed off the cliff b/c when we hit the rocks, everyone got hurt…all our mutual friends, our families, and our relationship most of all…it’s weird to look back and i wish i could jump on the other side of the fence and see what TP was thinking…we never got a chance to talk since…i suppose there is no reason to and TP doesn’t even know me to my belief, i never existed…even though TP may be annoying, overbearing, bitchy, stupid, mean, selfish, etc to everyone that disowned TP (which was stupid for people to do b/c TP didn’t deserve it) i still wanted to be there for some (stupid?) reason. but it wasn’t stupid…something told me TP is the one, and i hate myself for starting off new so soon… one thing i would have liked to go differently was all the brainwashing that was going on…everyone who didn’t care either way suddenly had an opinion..could not trust anyone to confide in…people who shouldn’t have been there were there and ****** it all up…i had one thing to say that i never got to say and probably never will…that’s all i was trying to do but the brainwashing just kept us farther apart…
  
  will i ever see you again? will i ever be able to talk to you again? even for half a second?
  
  
  DO NOT TAKE PITY ON ME… people reading this who know what happened will tell me to give it a rest already or tell me to move on, or they will just not talk to me anymore…
  
  
  to those people : you can’t pretend that you didn’t read this… you can’t punish me for feeling feelings… feelings that NOBODY helped me with and that NOBODY will ever understand… don’t tell me there was never love. don’t tell me that it’s not worth it…life is long, really long…60 years or so i have left, do not tell me that is a short time… people say life is short, those people have never felt the way i do… why???
  
  
  by the way, i only cry when i’m really really hurt… i haven’t cried since…
  if that means something…which it probably doesn’t..
  
  
  don’t tell me that i am wrong… i am right… or i could be
  
  how the hell do you know?
  
  if there is no second chance then there is no second chance. the only thing i know is that I ****** UP and I AM LOST, TP is not coming back…and there’s nothing i can do…
  - written 10 months ago

• Feeling quite lonely and just wondering things that maybe i shouldn’t be wondering but i cant help it.
  

  This is a blog i found that he wrote and it explains everything a lil better (well its vague but it gives you an insight to him) TP is his ex. But the one line that really is bugging me is … “and i hate myself for starting off new so soon…” hes referring to me and him. Does it sound like he regrets being involved with me, or just that he did it too soon.??? :(
  - written 10 months ago

• Ok I’m having a really hard time and I’ve never posted anything like this before but I don’t know what else to do.
  

  Pray to him… even if you’re not religious. Just get down on your knees and tell him exactly what you wanted him to know. He knows you loved him and he knows what you wanted to tell him. But I really think if you actually tell him, if you actually talk to him as if he could hear you, he’ll let you feel that he knows.
  
  You can get through this, and you can become you again, it wont be easy, quick or painless but you will. Just please talk to him…he’ll be listening
  - written 10 months ago

• Feeling quite lonely and just wondering things that maybe i shouldn’t be wondering but i cant help it.
  

  Green Knight was right let me be more specific.
  
  
  My Fiance cant seem to get over his first love. They went out for almost 2 years during high school and NOBODY liked her. They all told him time and time again that she was bad news. but he swears she was different then what everyone knew her as behind closed doors. to make a long story short the relationship ended badly, it got to the point where she was spreading lies and calling the cops on him with false allegations that he was threating her life. He was arrested several times due to her along with a restraining order filed against him. (keep in mind he is TOTALLY not this kind of guy)… every time they came to arrest him he was always sitting right at home minding his own business, one time he was even talking to me on the phone when they came to get him. The cops said that she had reported him banging on her bedroom window saying he was gunna kill her.
  
  Him and I are going on three years now, been engaged for a lil more than a year. But hes told me that he still misses her. that he feels like it was all his fault for the way things ended with her. Like he never really got any closure.
  
  He seemed to be moving on and then on New years he told me he had talked to her and that it was a friendly chat online. That she said she was sorry for the way things happened, but there wasn’t much more said.
  
  But a week or so ago i saw that he had text her saying “i still miss you”. My heart sank. Now i dont know what to think. I don’t know what would happen if she were to come back. I totally feel like even though he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever, that ill always come in second place.
  
  Am i being unreasonable? Should i accept that this was his first love and he will always have a place for her in his heart? How much of his heart is gunna always gunna belong to her, and why? After all the things she did to him, after all the time he put into her and she ended up throwing it back in his face, why does he still miss her?
  - written 10 months ago

• does anyone know how to hydrate a sick dog
  

  ill do my best … hes my baby… its funny he even acts a lil like a sick kid. thanks for all your help… ill see how hes feeling in the morning (hopefully just a 24 hr flu) and ill be calling my vet
  - written 11 months, 1 week ago

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