Solid's shoutbox - Help.com

Yes i look bigger because im gaining muscle (i can actually see them!!!! Sorry but its hard for me to gain muscle so im kind of excited lol). I know im losing weight or burning calories. I put my index finger and thumb around my wrist. If its some space thats a sign that im doing something right.

Wow im learning so much. Thanks!!! :D

I went to the gym again this morning and i feel good. I not only do cardio but i weight train as well.

I would write on forever but i have to get ready to go. Im leaving to go to Florida at 12 (different time zones lol because you said i hope you have a great night but its morning here). Thanks for the site and explaining the process in losing weight because i didnt know a lot of the things you mentioned.

The portion control was GREAT!! Im just like that its ingrained in my mind to NOT waste food not because of my mom but me (i just love food and hate wasting it).

Good luck to you as well and ill talk to you when i get back!! :)

Aww i feel so special lol :).

You and i seem to have struggled with the same issues when it comes to weight loss. I lost weight when i was high school and gained some back over the years. I was 150 (im only 5′0 1/2 so thats obese for my height) and dropped down to 125). I never went back to my maximum weight but i was still disappointed in myself. Now i believe im 130 something i havent been on a scale in a while. I use to be on one everyday boy was that thing addictive lol. Every morning night and evening

I wouldnt mind taking a look at the Canada food guide. And yes my main problem is portion control. Some days i can eat in moderation others i tend to binge.

This is so exciting because im starting to see changes when i look in the mirror. I know i should weigh myself but i dont want to. Im not a Yank btw i was born in the south. Thats what they call northerns lol :P. (at least thats what i remember from high school)

But i dont mind sharing my progress with you at all. The thing i want to get rid of are my freaking love handles!!! Those things irk me! My face fills out when i gain which bugs the heck out of me. My stomach needs to flatten out. I have some ways to go but im not where i use to be a few weeks ago. So im happy :). And it must feel good to have your significant other with you along the way. Man i wish i knew you you seem so cool and down to earth

Hey thank you soo much! I thought you were not going to respond because of my whinning lol. Im starting to see small results everyday i just have to learn to be VERY patient. This seems like a game or something lol. Like im excited because we are both trying to get in top shape. Which is excellent :). I only wish i had a personal trainer thats my dream actually. To make enough money to hire a personal trainer and nutritionist.

I pride myself on health to me its very essential

We havent talked in a while i remember when we first met lol… I thought you forgot about me for a sec :P

Hey, haven’t talked to you, but adding you as I like reading your reply’s and this is a good way to keep track.

Haha, nice!!!

Saskatchewan, what part of Canada are you in?

Thz dude

You are most welcome..Viva la nipple clamps hahaha.
Sleep tight. Catch you later.

We don’t call it white bread here. We call it vanilla

I will let you in on a little fact about me. I have been with my man since I was 16. It will be 20yrs come 1st of Feb. In that time we have experimented to the max.

No the ring is not important, just a good tight grip around the base of your balls.
Have you used Durex tingle lube? that will blow your mind.

Blow your mind make your legs wobbly unable to breathe properly better. Allegedly. I am a woman after all. Hehe

yeah that fine to add me even if you were been selfish lol

thanx for the advice and helping me see that it was worth while staying on this sight

No, I don’t go for all that namby pamby sex. If you like experimenting I should imagine you have already tried it at least once. When she’s giving you oral get on all fours tell her to pull on your balls as tight as a cock ring you understand or do you need more detail on this part. Then with your penis in her mouth she needs to point your penis at 6 o’cock lol. Nice and deep then using her finger gently do the same as I have advised you to do. Is this making sense. She needs to be behind you.

What about your orgasm? There is a technique to help you gain an ultimate orgasm.

Go on then add me fella. Glad you are trying still. Don’t try too hard you could start to frustrate yourself. Another tip would be to take her clitoris between your lips and start to hum.

Morning Solid. Hows that fun going with your lady. Are you there yet?

Im going to be working with animals :). Reptiles and birds in particular. We have a wildlife center on my college campus and i went up there yesterday to get info on volunteering and they said i can start today! So im going back up there to get familiar with the place and start my training.

And no its not official yet and from last night its not going to be. I personally think the guy overreacted. I dont blame him but he should be willing to accept and understand rather than call me names. I didnt appreciate it one bit. I know i have issues and i told him i have issues before we started having feelings for eachother.

Someone on here made me open my eyes and that maybe i just need someone who will understand that dont need any explanation.

I have people like that in my life now and i am thankful they accepted me instead of pinning me to the cross.

But yea no problem i know it took a lot of thinking to develop that. People need time to think in order to sort things out properly.

Have a wonderful day :)

I didnt even know you responded to my shout lol. I mustve missed it because i was shouting other ppl.

Im good i finally called the guy who i was ignoring, didnt go as planned. But besides that everythings been good. Im starting volunteer work later on today. So im happy about that.

And you welcome that was a great reply and as much as i dont believe in cheating i have to agree with you.

Hey Solid havent talked to you in a while. How are things going??

i’ll catch up with you some other time. thanx for everything. have a good one.

no, your advice is probably what i would have given someone too. it seems like the obvious outcome- you have to move on. but there was no way to explain some of the “feeling” to someone but rather i could only explain the situation.
the only way that we could have gotten this far is bc both of us wanted to communicate- i guess bc we still care.
the odds really aren’t that good when only one person wants to work things out. so your advice probably applies to 90% of people in the situation i’m in. You were helpful to help me see that i may be in that 90% and i have to get used to that idea.
are you working now? i start a new jib next monday and classes on 1/21 so i will soon be too busy to hop on help.com so readily, sadly:)

yeah, i do to. i feel like i have learned some valuable lessons thru al of this. i found it more productive to step back after we broke up and instead of pointing my finger at him (even though he had poor behavior)i looked at myself and asked “what did i contribute to this situation.” After rcinciling some of those things about myself and my behavior, i knew the things that i would work on bc he is important to me. i hope to get the same spirit of cooperation from him. that is the only way that it can really work.i did learn alot though and want another chance instead of starting with a new person right now. You have to put you pride and egos aside to do this though.
anything i have read or that people have advised me of says that people who get back together don’t always make it. it’s only been 3 weeks adn i truly am surprised that we are at this point. he made it sound so final. i guess that’s why it’s called a breakup?!!?

i didn’t do anything in NYE. I usually don’t.
i am willing to give things another try with my ex. we are both older and in some ways that can be a benefit bc we have been thru other relationships that haven’t worked out and maybe it’s time to do something different. instead of throwing away someone you care about bc things got a little tough actually step up and try. we will see.

Hey- houw was your NYE?? hope you had a nice time. You got to spend it withur girlfriend, right?
well, my ex is coming around. cne you believe it. we went to his son’s basketball game and had dinner together on Sunday and i am having dinner at his house tonight and going out tomorrow. I feel excited and cautious at the same time. (Eyes wide shut?) I do want to try again but if thing over time can’t be different enough for us to both be happy i would be ok with that. at least we tried and didn’t just run when things got tough.
hope you are well.

I didnt even see your shout :S.. Im good just still missing *him*. Im ready for school to start and start putting action to my new plans. How’s life with you, if you know what i mean ;) lol

(if you dont i mean how’s life with you and the miss?)

i think that he “lies” or says things that aren’t exactly truthful as a way of trying to feel that the exaggerated version of him is more interesting than the real one. therefore, he will feel more “admired and appreciated” bc there is something “special” about him.
it makes me so sad to see someone struggle the way he does for really no go reason. to me anyway. he has probably passed up many nice women bc he is so interested in how he feels. i have tried to talk with him about- you get back what you put out. if you are giving someone a hard time about something don’t expect that they are going to take you in their arms and tell you how much they love, admire and appreciate you. you have to show that to others to create the atmosphere where somone would want to return kindness.

yes. that is kind of sad. i think that he ia a nice guy with lots to offer. if only he would see a person who cares for him is right infront of his face. he may not see it if it was tied to a brick bc he is expecting to get hurt all the time or that someone couldn’t possible just like HIM without all the stories. i know that guy and he’s very nice, warm and caring.
because i saw tht side of him is why i am curious about another chance. he isn’t bad thru and thru. i don’t think anyone would really want to be that way.
if he tried with me and still couldnt’ manage some of those things to be less intrusive i would then say i would call it quits.

i don’t know that he would think about pursuing another woman if he felt “secure” with himself with the one he had. i think it is when he doesn’t feel ‘admired’ and appreciated that he starts to feel like he needs to find that for himself- somewhere.
hw ouldn’t stray just to stray bc he’s a player. he really isn’t a player. he’s not overly cocky. he is quite nice but has insecurities that he “projects” and causes problems. i can’t say i’m blameless inmy reactions to his behavior but i would say that i didn’t cause nearly as many little problems as he did over “nothing”. i have my insecurities in check and try not to inflict them on others.

yes. that is kinda what happened. i felt pushed away sometimes and he would become jealous of me for no reason i could see. i am not a flirt and don’t have a ton of friends to get in the way. i don’t talk to other guys on the phone or anything. not because i’ scared to but he was my boyfriend. i put my energies into him. i’m not about games and jealousy. his jealousy comes from him insecurity. he think i am good looking (nicce to know) and doesn’t want anyone moving in on me. well guys are always gonna look around. but i had no thought of straying. it was in his mind.
btw, when i went to lunch with him he picked me up and opened the car doors at my house and at the restaurant

ahhhh! i jsut put in a netflix movie and there is no sound. how irritating.
yeah, do you see what i mean. 2-6 is the time where everyone is really being “nice” and accommodating. why would you want to keep cycling yourself thru that though? i can’t imagine it taking any less energy than trying for someone you say you love. there is a set of “knowns” with the person you love vs. the “unknowns” of new r’ships all the time. that cycle has to take a toll on someone. he has to look at it as failed r’shp

i see his situation like this: he likes the first let’s say 2-6 months of a new relationship. why? bc it is the part of the r’ship where everyone is minding their manners and not showing their true colors yet. then things begin to settle and either he or the other person show themselves adn some problems arise as a result. he may feel not so special anymore. not adored in the same way. he may want that feeling all the time and goes on to the next girl knowing that the first 2-6 months will bring about that satisfaction that he had before.
make sense?

it is frustrating bc i am one who has a “work for something” mentality- with lots of things that are challenging- work, school, activities, people. it just bothers me that this wouldn’t be more important to someone than all those other things.
i am not sure what he will do. i willbe disappointed in him though if he doesn’t give it a try at some point. then he didn’t love me enough to expend the effort.

yeah. one thing that has me dissappointed is that his reaction to things was to fold up shop and move on. i can understand thinking that way out of frustration. i t does solve the problem in the moment. but if you do love someone and you thing they’re the one wouldn’t you have done something differently? what does he honestly expect to be different in futre realtionships if he always bails at the same point?

yes. i am thnking along those line. it is not just him changing though. i have to do some things differently as well. showing him that it is a two way street and that it isn’t just him who has to “perform” better only levels the playing field and makes it a better feeling of coming back if that is what he chooses. who would want to come back feeling some hurt from the other person but the burden is only on you to change? it will not work. ans it’s not fair. if he comes back and it doesn’t work i think i wouldn’t be so upset bc i would feel like we actually tried.

Good night! Hope to talk again soon…let me know what happens!

thanx for your help. i’m going to try to sleep again. it’s too cold to get up:)

i have been in sales for years and people will buy thinkgs fromyou if they like you and they feel like the decision was theirs and that they weren’t “sold” to.
i think it can apply to many things. he will be more invested in what ever he picks if he thinks it’s his idea.
in some ways i am at peace with whatever happens i think. there is only so much i can control.

no problem. you should be working. i was looking for a male perspective which really isn’t so different from what us girls have considered.
don’t know that i will give a verbal ultimatum but i may distance myself and see what he does on his own. culd be better if he has “ownership” over his decision vs. being ultimatumed.
thanx.

don’t think he is telling her anything bc he met her with the intention of probably truly breaking it off with me thinking the grass is greener. she is innocent if she knows nothing. why would he tell her and jeopardize things? ya know?
now i think he has some regrets over not talking with me maybe.
yeah, maybe he is trying to keep the balance until he can figure himself out. i just shouldn’t talk with him about it anymore. just talk about other things.

dilemma due to liking things about her and liking things about me at the same time.

talked about the things we BOTH would need to change if we loved each other enough. it wasn’t one sided. he still somehow continues to say that he likes the other lady.
do you think he is reconsideering things or is keeping me in the wings for later?

hi solid, do yu have time for a quick question? i need a guys perspective.
my ex BF of 2 weeks who moved on bc he met and other woman the week before, has called me, taken me to lunch last tuesday,talked to me for 1 hr on xmas, talked to me yesterday for 2 hours and has invited me for lunch again tomorrow. we have talked about the things that went wrong that I would like to give things another try. he says he loves me and had seen a future with me. he feels like he is in a dilemma noq bc of the other woman who he says he does like. keeps contacting me but will say things anywhere from that he still loves me and thinks about me and thinks of stopping by to see to saying that he doesn’t wan to go back to the SAME thing. i said it wouldn’t be the same bc we would knowwhat we need to change. what are your thoughts?

I sure did and it was so easy ;) lol. How have you been??

Thanks You see a lot of these posts. I treat them all the same. Welcome to Help.com. Clue :-)

Just stopping by to say hey! I also wanted to be the first person who shouted you lol :D