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• Ok…here’s the deal…I’m a 35+ year old man that four months ago was fired from my 60k+ a year a job and I’m still unemployed. posted (10 months, 2 weeks) ago
  the deal…I’m a 35+ year old man that four months ago was fired from my 60k+ a year a jo…

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• Ok…here’s the deal…I’m a 35+
  

  I lol’d so hard at “And to answer your question about whether you are #@$%^# in the head: The answer is probably yes,…” I needed that…
  
  As far as the gaming…first step I just took…just got off vent with guild and informed them I would no longer be main tanking (wow addicts will know what I mean) and I called Blizzard and suspended the subscription for 30 days (it’s a start right…?)
  
  As far as MS…I shake my head a bit at this as my current student loans in the sum of now…around 68k are in default and the thought of incurring anymore debt in that regard is not appealing.
  
  I think the biggest step is to stall the gaming for awhile and find a way to ‘peak’ my interest again in all things creative and multimedia, and work on getting a **** portfolio of the few things I’ve done through the years pulled together and actually start submitting resumes for some jobs instead of just staring at them thinking..hmm…that sounds cool
  
  Any suggestions on what else to do..my situation is pretty dire as I lose the vehicle in 20 more days and I’m looking at finances and bills are piling up…it’s tough to be creative minded with that looming in the back of my head
  
  Should I put the ‘perfect job’ on hold and just get a burger flipping job *gulps and swallows pride* - I don’t know why but I see a job like stuff I used to do as such as step backwards in my professional growth.
  - written 10 months, 2 weeks ago

• I’m seriously thinking about suicide.
  

  I’m going to reveal a very personal story here…
  
  What I want to get across is that although at times life may feel empty, meaningless and hopeless you have to hold onto a thought, a flicker of some sanity that in time..things will change..things will improve…the sun will shine again
  
  Year ago..and I mean years ago..
  
  I came home from a business trip early…I lived in a two bedroom condo on golf course with my new wife of 9 months (my highschool sweetheart). I heard noises in the master bedrooms and immediately my senses detected something amiss…I saw the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen in my life…another man in my bed with my wife…what ensued next doesn’t matter - but know this…they are both alive today..but
  
  I spent the next 4 hours sitting in the dark with a .357 in my hand on a golf course green putting the gun in my mouth 3 or 4 times wanting so badly to ‘just end it’ the pain I was feeling at that time in my life was unspeakable…I don’t know how or what happenned to allow me to get through those critical moments in my life..but I did
  
  I look back now and even after years of therapy and counseling and mass depression tha followed I coped, I overcame and I conquered - I’ve grown from the experience…all of it..I’ve grown from the feelings I had as a result of my now ex wife’s actions and my actions afterwards - I’ve also learned that nothing is life is so tragic to ever ever allow myself to devalue my life so much that I’d even think about doing something so horrible
  
  The simplest things in life are worth living for..a walk in forest, desert, or along the beach, a car ride with the windows down and your favorite song blaring, the first smile from a girl on a first date, the innocence of a child, or simply the feeling of a cool breeze on your face
  
  When life gets you to a point that it’s too much to handle..walk away…go breath fresh air, remove yourself from your normal surroundings and discover adventure ..take notice of a something simple like a patch of grass and the intricacies of every blade..hell take off your shoes and walk through it barefoot - just watch out for poop..lol
  
  Make your lips touch your ears…(force a smile)..eat an orange…or a lemon find a way to sap yourself out of your state of mind for what is in front of you today will be different tomorrow..and who knows what pleasantries it shall bring!
  
  Dignified Dude
  - written 10 months, 2 weeks ago

• It seems like my whole life has been a lie.
  

  First I’m sorry you are dealing with this pain you have inside. Truly I am, it’s terrible to have something burning you up and you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, but things just don’t seem right? You mentioned that when you talk to people you feel like they aren’t listening to you. If you had some people that ‘wanted’ to listen to you..what would you say to them? What would you talk about? Regarding your feelings of not knowing what you want to do in life or what you want to be…be yourself..what you do in life…I’m assuming you mean for work…? There are alot of great tools out there that can help you identify career paths based off of things you enjoy doing, excel at, and so forth. I’m may be dating myself a bit but one particular one that comes to mind is something called ‘cops’ Career Orientation Planning System…or something along those lines. You may want to check into that. However, I would say this to you…depending on your age, sometimes it can be difficult to identify what you want to do…don’t feel obligated to force it. Perhaps taking a year off from school and volunteering in some different areas might spark and interest in something…intern in some different career fields - experiment..pick up a new hobbie, go somewhere you’ve never been before (sometimes this gets the creative juices flowing)…anyway..I’d love to hear more about what you’d talk about if someone would listen!
  
  Dignified Dude
  - written 10 months, 2 weeks ago

• Ok…here’s the deal…I’m a 35+
  

  [quote tjwoods]What were the problems at work? Lack of interest is one thing, but was there more than that? What kind of a job was it, and what kinds of problems did you have? ….[/quote]
  
  I am not a lazy person by nature, actually quite opposite. I used to be very motivated and I raced mountain bikes, excelled in school and anything I set my mind to..including world of warcrack
  
  To answer your question TJ…my education is in multimedia production technologies (video, web, 3D modeling/animation, etc) I started in my last line of work 9 years ago as a GIS map production specialist doing work for military planning projects. My eagerness to learn more about why I was doing something lead me into environmental planning and even eventually project management work..towards the end of my nine year stint in that field I became apathetic about what I was doing and what was expected of me. Many of my friends and family told me 5 years in to get out..to get a job doing what my heart really wanted to do ….Multimedia production type work. Problem is..over the last 9 years I only had select opportunies to do that type of work (mostly supplementing the planning work I was doing)…be it 3D visualizations of projects, small multimedia presentations, etc. Trying to break into that field now…after being out of school for ten years and having very limited experience is overwhelming, it can be done I know..but I’d be starting at the bottom with very low paying grade positions..I assume…I think this perspective is part of the avoidance of dealing with the change in my life. The change being that the termination was actually a life kick to do something else..but now faced with the decision and very real circumstance I’m freezing up and avoiding doing anything but hiding in a game
  
  Dignfied Dude
  - written 10 months, 2 weeks ago

• What do you think is the best treatment for depression?
  

  I actually think a combination of therapy or counseling as some call it along with medication to treat the underlying biological causes are most effetive. Many people suffer from chemical imbalances that without medication to help alleviate some of the above mentioned biological issues are not open to the counseling provided. This of course is best determined by a practictioner of medicine/psychiatry
  - written 10 months, 2 weeks ago

dignified_dude_a's conversations are tagged:

depression, Treatment, Unemployment, addiction, sucide, lost, alone, hurt, Vitamin, Medication, poll