ParanoidRobot's shoutbox - Help.com

hey there i havent heard from you in a while just checking in to make sure you/everything is alright.
xoxo.

whats wrong with your roommates?
nothing really new is going on i just got a package from my mom today with some bday gifts in it so that made me feel good. work is going alright though im tired of working there haha.
anything new with you?
hows school going?

Yeah, me too! Im trying to get out more and meet new people since my roommates arent working out.
I hope you’re doing okay! Anything interesting going on with your life? Hows work??

been real busy and workin alot, Been kinda depressed but I think I’m alright. Just wanted to say hi and that I’m thinkin of you and I miss talkin to you. I hope everything is fine with you and That your smiling :)
Night Night
xoxo

life is shitty i know,
ok goodnight sleep great sweet dreams bye bye
(ok good dont do it)

yeah im sure,
oh really well you should get out of state for your bday this year, july in cali is great :D
oh ok well good luck learning it and i hope you get it down quick :P

yeah i hope so. im at my house so i cant smoke it away i have an edible but they dont work that well for this.
yeah if thats what i get ill definitely tell you if its worth it :)
why is it your least favorite month?
ok why are you typing on that kind of keyboard?

i think it is just anxiety related right now, for right now at least…i my anxiety is just really money and work and “plans” realted. i like everything really planned out and perfectly ready for action and when things arent i get kinda crazy.
i will be 20 :) im expecting just little things from everyone nothing huge, i asked my dad and his wife for an ipad or a new phone so we’ll see.
when is your bday?

no i havent. ive been high as fuck all day, for 4 days… just sittin on the couch watching tv and then i had 4 hours of work this is my first time on the internet in 4 days. i dont know much about all that anyways.

things are going alright im kinda depressed but mostly my anxiety is out of control i feel like im dying. its horrible i hate when it gets like this.
its my bday on friday :)

i dont understand?

hey there

Goodnight I hope your day was great. Mine was alright I just can’t wait to sleep :)
Sweet Dreams Tonight.
And Smile :}
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/ima…
https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/ima…
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/ima…
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/ima…
(sorry sorry just one more [just wanna make you smile])
https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/ima…
NOW GO TO SLEEP!!! :P

arbys is great, i usually only eat out with the boyfriend and he hates arbys so i dont get it too often haha.
same here, 3rd grade, get out of my head!!!! haha jk :}

it was great talking to you, hope we can chat again soon :}
goodnight sweet dreams…you stay safe as well. and smile :}

oh my god no jack in the crack!!!!!!!! no CURLY FRIES!!!!!!
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgxxnz…
hahahahahaha that sucks asss im so sorry! hahaha.
wow africa thats amazing good job thats so cool. id never wanna go but thats so cool of you. :}
yes we have Chick-fil-a…i actually just figured out that we have one a couple months ago and just saw it a few weeks ago, never been haha.
i stopped my hips once i started to think i was sexy cuz i didnt want to destroy my figure but i did my back and i have some weird scars on it now, sucky cuz i love my back. haha. i mean none of my scars are bad i used this cream a few months back and it reduced the visibility of them greatly.
the pills them selves are fine but its my drinking alcohol with them that is the bad part. i mean dont worry im always safe, my boyfriend moderates how much i take and all that he would never in a million years let anythin happen to me, not even accidently haha.
i see, well thats good that you are convincingg your self that you dont wanna kill your self, how long have you been depressed like this anyways?

i do it on my thighs and hips. :/
i actually dont take meds for anything (i mean nothing prescribed to me but i take pills that help that i get from other people), i used to not want to but i am considering going back to my dr to figure it out, i am bipolar manic depressive and i have social anxiety and panic disorder along with add. im a freak :/ im crazy :/
im glad you dont want to kill your self, its the hardest thing to convince myself not to do at the end of everyday and im glad you dont have to deal with it.

have you seen this commercial???
it gets me laughing every time its on…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJm4rc…

im seriously getting freaked out over here. ive done online dating and ive traveled for boyfriends as well, not to other countries but to cities that were about 2 hours away from me and for a short time with someone who lived in Vegas.
a first kiss in Australia is very cute though :)
and after all that i never wanted another long dist. relationship and now my bf lives 8 miles away :P
thats so neat though you have been out of the country, i have only been to Nevada and Arizona, and Arizona was only for a Martial Arts Tournament. haha.
the cheap hotels really arent sketchy, theres a motel a little way down the strip that is reallllllly nice actually, and alot of the nice big famous hotels have deals, my dad and his wife just stayed at Ballys for 129 bucks a night and they are usually like 300 bucks, and i have stayed at that motel i just mentioned for 80 bucks a night and its real nice. but yeah of course itd be so much better to save and stay at like the Venician (sp?) or Paris or New York New York, Or the Belligio or OH OH TREASURE ISLAND!!! haha. sorry, i

ok well at least what you do while your coping is productive and you dont just sit around and pig out and be a couch potato :P
i hope you get over it quickly so you can be normal again…
this is so werid, it feels like we are the same person (besides the difference in gender and talent :P [i suck at insturments])…i fist cut myself in middle school, i cant remember 7th or 8th grade, i first started due to depression but i realized that i enjoyed the pain even during stages of happiness. so it became habit. i am a huge fan of pain, i use it to cope with stress, anxiety, depression, happiness and sex. i dont cut myself in any way that id die from, do you?
i mean i know how to control all that…
thats why i enjoy tattoos and piercings so much cuz the pain is enjoyable to me…
so in no way do i think your weird, and if i did, id just be calling myself werid as well. :P

Ok i will watch it, and if i dont enjoy it ima kick your ass :P
dont feel bad in the morning, start your day off with an ice cold glass of OJ and take some deep breaths :)
So is there any other girls aside from her that your interested in?
SHE!!! my little girl is a SHE!!! haha. i love dogs too, they are my life, hence having 4 of them… :P
yes i truly reccomend going to Vegas, even if your under 21 there is alot to do there to have alot of fun :P and you can get some great hotel rooms for cheap so dont think you need to spend a fortune to visit.
man i just saw that movie 17 Again, i was iffy on seeing it cuz Zac Effron isnt someone im a fan of but it was actually pretty funny. either that or im extremly sleep deprived that id laugh at any movie :P

glad you wrote me back.
well good you enjoyed your night with a friend, how was Tangled i still havent seen it.
ok so at least you know it was the girl who was the problem and not you, thats gotta be a relief huh? :P
yes being confused really sucks im sorry you have to feel like that, i wish i could help more.
no problem, i will be here to listen whenever i can be. whenver i can be.
yes my little pup is the cutest damned thing in the whole wide world, shes one thing thats partially saving my life. :}
hahaha yeah that guy on the Vegas Strip sings and dances and shakes his fat all around, its great. I go to Vegas like every month if im not busy and every couple months if i am, my Aunt and My Grandma live there but i also enjoy staying on the Strip alot, :} have you ever been?
(oh my god i used to watch the mask a thousand times when i was little :P )

i really wish you stayed on long enough to read my shout, i hope you come on soon to read it.

(im taking you 100% seriously i just like to add humor so that you can laugh too ok?)
ok first of all, cry. there is no use in holding tears back, its honsetly best to cry i promise. but dont let your eyes get too watery or youll have trouble reading the rest of what i say :)
i understand the feeling. i know its hard to be ‘preferred over’ you just need to look at your self and know that people do prefer you. even if its not what you want…i prefer you. out of every helping person on this site i come on here hoping to see you because you make me smile and you help me alot.
i dont even really know you and i know that your a great listener your talented your nice your funny your are a great guy.
if assertiveness is the problem, work on it a little more. find a girl you might like and ask her on a date, do things that you see guys do in the movies, trust me if you do one nice sweet romantic thing youll have a leg up from all the other jack asses in that girls life.
great you study and get good grades, thats GREAT!!! im serious, all that means is your going to have a GREAT future, if right now seems hard then it will all seem so much more worth it when your makin bank with a wife and kids (if thats what you want in life) …
there is no such thing as being “too strict with morals” if you didnt stand up for what you believe in now, then youll just feel like shit later that you didnt.
if you wanna take me for example, i never ever ever wanted to do drugs or be with a smoker. i met my bf and i knew he smoked pot but i didnt think itd be a problem, now 3 years later i pop pills occasionally i smoke weed every day and im high for 4 days straight when im with him (when im with him its very rare that i am not high) and i smoke cigarettes, now i enjoy smoking weed i really do it makes me happy it helps with my physical pain and it makes me happy and not depressed, and i love my boyfriend to death (most of the time :P ) but i look back and i think damn, i shitted on everything i believed in. everything…i wanted to tell my kids one day that “your mom never did any drugs” and although i will still tell them that :P i will tell them knowing im lying to them, i can never ever tell my kids that truthfully.
have you ever seen the movie The Mask with Jim Carey? http://www.theoriginof.com/wp-content…

remember how he was thrown out the window and run over by a bus or car or something? and he was all flattened out? then he re inflated him self?
thats what i want you to do. you need to stand up and take a BIG DEEP BREATH in and hold it for a few seconds. tell yourself “i am a special person, i have dreams and goals and i will achieve them one day, i will find the woman of my dreams, and if shes not here yet she will be some day. i am a valuable person”
it may not work the first time you do it but after a few times you will be re-inflated…(oh wait dont forget to breath out… :P ) and youll be able to think more clearly…
psh, every one has their neurotic episodes. trust me.
here look at this…
http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x…
this is me and my pup and we love you…
oh here look at this too…
http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x…
this is from the last time i went to vegas. thought it’d make you laugh :)

it is not a waste of my time. i will write a reply to you i just want to send this one to let you know i will take a little bit to type it ok, in the mean time…look at this and smile
http://kb3302.k12.sd.us/images/funnys…

talk to me about it.

hey

not weird at all i enjoy answering questions :)
yes i am ADD hahaha.
i hate it. yeah i think and think and think and then i eventually hope that the thinking will fix my problems and that if i think enough ill the answers will just pop into my head, it never works like that though.
you play it or you listen to it? i usually listen to music too but when im sad i play sad music so i get sadder hahaha. i smoke when im sad, that always works :P and i just try to cuddle with my pup and watch tv and hope it works. sometimes it does. i also eat when im sad. hahaha. idk how im still so small :P
yeah im excited to finally be trying to move my life in the right direction, im hoping school will get my mind off of being depressed. but i hope it doesnt add too much stress cuz if and when im too stressed out i break down and cry and get depressed and have panic attacks etc.
its alright i waited on here for your response for like 15 mins but i had to sleep i was so tired haha.
work today was alright, it was hard to get out of be this morning but i did it and work was eh, haha.
how about you how was school today? did anything interesting happen??? 8) those are my wide eyes sitting ready to listen hahahaha.
how do you feel today?
(dont feel bad i just posted this on my own wall too…hahaha)

Yeah… This might be a weird question, but had anyone ever asked you if you’re ADD? If you’re anything like me, you just can’t turn off your brain, and sometimes, it just goes into tangents where it just WONT shut down, no matter how much you want it to. What I find helps when you discover that you’re thinking too much is playing music… but… thats me. Everybody has their own way of dealing with things. Do you have anything in particular that you do when you’re sad?
Okay, very cool! Are you excited about it?? :) :) :)

im just depressed cuz of myself. i start thinking and then i keep thinking and then i just get sad and then i cant stop thinking.
well i filled out my financial aid stuff and i will probably start taking general ed classes in summer. i need to get my drivers license first and that will be done in the next couple weeks or a month.

well thanks. made my night :)
have a good night and have a wonderful day tomorrow :)

hoped to have seen you on tonight. but its getting late for you and i have work at 8am, (sucky sucky im so depressed that i honestly dont wanna get out of bed, i have been having people bring me food in bed all day today cuz im too depressed to move i hope i get over it tomorrow or idk how ill work) i miss you. im sure thats a really weird thing to say but i do. if i dont see you on here then have a good night and a good day.

hoped to have seen you on tonight. but its getting late for you and i have work at 8am, (sucky sucky im so depressed that i honestly dont wanna get out of bed, i have been having people bring me food in bed all day today cuz im too depressed to move i hope i get over it tomorrow or idk how ill work) i miss you. im sure thats a really weird thing to say but i do. if i dont see you on here then have a good night and a good day.

well once you feel your ready for/want a relationship then youll stop doing that kind of stuff.
but i do really understand what your talking about.
being confused sucks i know.
ok well you sleep good sweet dreams :) goodnight.

haha. i love reading simply because its an escape for my mind. when i read it has to be a book that im COMPLETELY interested in. a real page turner for me. i have read 4 or 500 page books in a day just by waking up and reading and falling asleep that night reading. i hear their voices and visualize what they look like from the simple things all the way down to the specks in their eyes. i put myself in the book and im a character pretty much. its a complete escape for me and thats why i enjoy reading so much but i need to regain my patience.
yeah that definitely makes sense your associating something good with something you like and got something great. :)
really and what does “freaking out” really mean? what kind of stuff happens?

its calming to know that im not the only one who thinks this way, and that there is someone else who thinks the same things i do.
i dont have the patience to read lately for some reason its pissing me off i want to read haha.
im sure youd do a good job of reeling me in in person. hehe,
aww you do :) i only really come on to see if youve written to me, its hard for me to get on some times but when i do i write you :P

i have developed an internet crush on you. :P

haha hello hello.

well very cool im glad school is good. i prefer night classes to morning classes. easier for me to concentrate at night haha. well i have never taken calculus but ive always been really good at math, so i wish you luck in that class.
oh cool im happy you had a good time at that party.
whats new with me? nothing really ive been at the boyfriends for the past 5 days haha. had a good time over there. i havent really been too depressed lately but there has been times that when i do get depressed it hits me hard and i tune everything out, no matter what im doing, and i just stare and cry silently and motionlessly, it worrys people how ive been doing that lately cuz im ususally really good at covering those feelings up. but i just cant stop thinking about all the negative even after weeks of positive have gone by. im scared that ill never learn to just be happy, especially when happy things are going on.

haha, wanted to give a look to the name. haha.
so how was that party you went to?
and how was school?
hope to hear from you soon.

http://s1177.photobucket.com/albums/x…

oh ok :) haha. i just didnt know is all.
10 am your a baby haha. im up at 7 or 8 every day for work hahaha.
oh really where did you get the jacket from? thats very sweet of you good job :)
you did well haha.

i hope i didnt do anything to make you wanna not write me back. i see your still online. its ok. i dont deserve you as a friend anyways. bye.

sorry had to walk the peanut
i worked 8 to 2 today.
i mean i did other stuff around the house but my pup said lets stay in bed
so we stayed in bed hahaha
very cool what did you get him? what time do you have to wake up tomorrow?

HEY! it was very good. work was alright then i came home and spent the day in bed with my dog :) how was your day?

hope yo see you on tonight.

well good, stay drug free then :)
i live with my dad and we get along fine.
my mommie is my best friend :) she lives in s.carolina though but we talk every single day.
i will be 20 on the 20th…of this month!!! woo hoooooooo!!!
im so so so excited the bf is taking me to the aquarium!!! :D
yeah some tatts are awful haha, i only have one right now its on the outside of my left leg like 4 in below my knee and 4 above my ankle, it is a purple ribbon in the shape of a heart with a small dog paw print inside. i cant wait to get my next one for my bday, they are honestly addicting hahaha.
ok well have a goodnight sweet dreams, talk to you tomorrow hopefully. :}

Haha, nope. I dont smoke weed, quite honestly. It comes as a surprise to most people, but I don’t have any desire to smoke weed after my initial experience. So… yep.
How is your relationship with your parents our of curiosity?
Psh. I AM Old. 19 is old. I wish I could be 10 again. 10 was good. I’ll be 20 in April. How about you? When is your birthday?
Heh, thats awesome. Some tattoos are just terrible, though. How many do you have? Which one is your favourite?

Yeah. I’m heading to bed. My Mind is toasted. Goodnight! Talk to you later!

(go to sleep whenever you want id understand just come talk to me again tomorrow if you can :} )

no crack, i smoke weed, well i “medicate” do you?
this is my true me hahaha, i love to laugh, its my favorite thing to do. :D (see?)

well thats very good parents are very important.

well you are an ooooold person :P im jk i think im older than you? when will you be 20?
oh how sexy you stay in a dorm, well idk if its sexy but i havent kn own anyone to live in a dorm and you said it and i liked it. have you snuck a girl into your dorm ever? haha

just curious, i love tattoos, love love love. on me and on other people :P i have one and im getting another for my bday coming up. i have a whole bunch of ear piercings and i had 3 lip piercings but they are out and left yuck scars haha.

yeah, watch out for me hahaha.
hahahahahaha.
yeah blaming people for the past does nothing for your future,
did you like that? i made it up? pretty good huh? i think it deserves some quotation marks
“blaming people for the past does nothing for your future”
-blue_moon
hahahahahahahaha
oh really well im sorry about all that that has happend. very very sorry, my parents split when i was in 3rd grade, when did yours?
a “jump rope set” what the hell is in a jump rope set? haha
well im sorry, but yeah, very smooth :P
oh well drink some warm milk with a little bit of vanilla extract in it. delicious,