yer, I think you are amazing. I have been suicidal at times and clinically depressed for about 7 years, im 22 now. I think you are so strong to have come that far without help. I rejected counsellors for ages, tven I found one who I felt able to talk to and it really does help- but yes it is really really hard. You then will also have someone who will support you and help you.
I think some people like the first friend example you gave just cannot comprehend and cannot deal with what you tell them because it ruins their own idea of the world. I told people things about me before and likewise they responded badly, so like you, I stopped trusting people with it and kept everything to myself. But kept to yourself it has no way of getting out and it lingers and wears you down. Counsellors are not going to react badly they hear really bad things a lot. In the end they are there to help you find your own way through it all.
I find it really hard to talk to people about myself so when I went I would always write down what I wanted to say or tell them, then I couldn’t back out and we could discuss it. Just find a way that works for you.
I really hope you get some help, I think you are an inspiration to have lived through all that and keep going. - written 2 months ago
or call or email the samaritans if you feel you cannot face to face talk to someone. If you are 15 you should still be at school, so perhaps there is a school counsellor you could talk to? - written 2 months ago
talking to someone is a much better way, talk to your doctor about it. I was put on anti depressants at 15 and it sucked. Different tablets after different tablets, loading me with side effects and just making me really lethargic and exhausted and my brain went numb and unable to think. I know it is scary and really really hard to do, but if you talk to your doctor they will be able to advise you on the best course of action. You could ask them upfront to explain tve rules to you about what they would have to tell your parents about- then you know what to avoid. - written 2 months ago
I am at degree level (2nd year) so I don’t see my lecturers again anyway. I feel physically sick now, although I have nearly finished my quote sheets. I am not a good exam person :s. I am really determined, I have tried so hard all year and it took me a long to achieve what I wanted because I had to have a year out of college because I was severly depressed and no-one would let me carry on. So I do appreciate where I am and what I have achieved. But things are looking up finally and I am trying so hard to keep all the bad things at bay but some times I think they immobilise me or something!!
Argh scared!!
Thanks for the luck- I definatly need it! - written 6 months, 3 weeks ago
This is my only one- I have no excuse!!- I do English so mine is more essays (coursework based) I just can’t believe that I have worked so hard all year and because I am doing nothing am going to throw the end away :( - written 6 months, 4 weeks ago
