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• Grief can be turned… would you prefer joy over hurt? posted (1 year, 10 months) ago
  If you research these points you may not find these in a single reference, but they are known in d…

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• bipolar?
  

  I am not a doctor or psychologist. I cannot prescribe or diagnose.
  
  Take this as just a conversation, mostly questions.
  
  With that said:
  Is it possible that when something from the past reminds you of bad feelings you find yourself sinking into the emotions which have been built around that past experience?
  
  Is it also possible, that experience is from years ago, and over time you’ve learned to place new feelings of sorrow, anger, fear, and/or despair, SO MUCH around that (those) event(s), the intensity of those feelings preclude your ability to remember that INITIAL SENSITIZING EVENT?
  
  Is it possible that you MAY NOT be bi-polar but are actually being reminded of the past reminders of anger and fear?
  
  Maybe, when you are on the UP side, you’re not in thought of what causes the down side. And when you are on the down side, your attention is so focused on the yuck, you just can’t see the sunshine? (This is a description of focused attention.)
  
  I do not know your life experience. BUT for many people the process of resolving ISE with other than drugs and psychotherapy can be effective. Maybe that’s something to be explored.
  
  I’m saying, I don’t know. You do, perhaps.
  
  But, if you rely on people who cannot know your life experience, where they make a determination only by looking at your behavior today, they can’t know- and maybe even refuse to ask you what emotions you’ve learned to rehearse over your life time.
  
  The simple:
  When was the 1st time you had that feeling?
  Who were you with?
  What were you doing?
  
  Sounds simple, but unfortunately most therapists don’t include this process in their skill set.
  
  Don’t blame those who don’t know your life experience or how you learned these feelings, they certainly were not with you when this occurred. And, if they weren’t there, they couldn’t know, could they?
  
  Most therapists are not familiar with how an emotional fixation is created- with anger and fear, and their education does not include how to break the wrappers of anger and fear; with the set of above simple questions. Sorry.
  
  This is perhaps a different perspective, which not everyone holds.
  
  It may not be your framework. Maybe you need a 2nd opinion from someone who isn’t the same as the other’s you’ve shared with.
  
  If this perspective is different from what you’ve heard in the past. It is.
  
  Paul
  Bless Your Thoughts.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• I just cant sleep…It seems impossible..I go to
  

  Sleep is an interesting subject to everyone. Including myself.
  
  Another perspective of sleeplessness could be an emotionally based cause. Those emotions around not sleeping can be Anger, Fear, Despair.
  
  Few sleep medications and instructions with those medications ever present the emotional side of sleep problems.
  
  There are some therapists who work specifically with sleep problems. Some Hypnotherapists are very very good with sleep problems.
  
  It’s difficult to say how many sessions are required to help someone sleep. But, after 2 or 3 sessions, you’ll have the sense if the process of Hypnotherapy could be helpful.
  
  Bless Your Thoughts
  Paul
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• How do you feel about the fact that you have to live to die?
  

  Fear and Anger.
  
  Fortunately, they can keep us safe.
  
  Un-fortunately when we dwell in these emotions, that dwelling becomes an incremental learning. A emotional heap which for many grows.
  
  The person who dwells on this incremental learning, finds new examples to associate to that kernal and builds skill in that trait.
  
  An inventor uses this process. An inventor takes incremental information from many places and puts it together in a different or new association. Sometimes that different association is patentable and becomes a new product.
  
  What I mean by the above reference to the invention process, is this process is the mechanism of humanity learns. We learn incrementally.
  
  Incrementally, we learned to drive a car, from the 1st time we rode in one. Incrementally we learned language, math, human social interaction. We learned a smile was good, and a frown was bad.
  
  Some incrementally learn success, others incrementally learn failure.
  
  But the sense of choice as to which we learn isn’t widely discussed.
  
  I believe our ‘choice’ in what we incrementally learn is greatly affected by the emotions we have around an experience as we transition into sleep. During the REM period we learn that experience.
  
  But, because this occurs without documentation and without hard data, people can easily tell you this does not occur. It’s difficult to prove what the mind does during sleep.
  
  Many child experts say an infant while sleeping is learning about the new environment in which it was born. But, few people say you continue this learning process, that is digesting and making emotional associations when you sleep - as an adult.
  
  For me, I will NOT watch CSI or other death presentations before I go to bed.
  
  You know advertisement on television is repetitive. IF that advertiser becomes the predominant thought before you go to sleep, there is a better chance of you becoming focussed on that product.
  
  Billions of dollars are paid so you buy things you would not normally seek. The example of the alka-seltzer commercial “Plop Plop” ____ ___ (fill in the blank) is excellent in making the point of repetitive advertising.
  
  For me, I look for and dwell on the emotion of joy before sleep. Did you consider this possibility before reading this?
  
  What repetitive emotion do you carry to sleep? How would you like to select that emotion to be your CHOICE tonight, so you learn that emotion and build on that new decision?
  
  I learned these points after mother’s suicide. It’s too bad that many people have to become so hurt before they learn this. Today you’re closer to being happy, than if you allow yourself to associate new dissapointments to the past.
  
  When do you take action for a positive change in your emotional learning?
  
  BlessYourThoughts.com
  Paul
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• ok…so for the past 8 months or so i have been really depressed…
  

  Ok, so after you call the suicide intervention lines…
  
  And you know I’m not a psychologist or a doctor, and I don’t have a license…
  
  And you know all advice is worth what you pay for it… and this advice on this website is free, so you can assign a value to what you get for free, I’ll offer my thoughts to you about suicidal thoughts (emotional fixations)…
  
  Your thoughts about hurting yourself have nothing to do with hurting yourself. I know because I was in your position in 1984, when a dear and caring man practiced Abreaction, Desensitization and Emotional Reframing for me. In less than 30 days, I was no longer suicidal and have NEVER had those emotions since.
  
  But, because there is no statistical outcomes from this process, the typical “shrink” won’t do this. But, more over the typical Psych had no training, they refer to this as being HIGH LEVEL intervention, but when a non-licensed person practices this, they yell foul, or some degrading insult, but in the comments of a Psychologist or Psychiatrist they won’t admit they have no expertise in the administration of multiple abreaction so a person can walk out of their emotional binds.
  
  So, in hypnotherapy, that is being deeply relaxed in one thought at a time, a person can make a decision about how they feel about an old thought or experience, and choose to change that thought.
  
  This is how I approach grief depression and other emotional fixations which tank people. Tank, that’s a highly technical term you learn in researching a PhD thesis. Joking aside, The memories of Anger and Fear become the focus of attention, when a memory is opened and closed with enough intensity or frequency that the ‘kernal’ which created the problem is no longer available for examination.
  
  The Suicide intervention folks haven’t learned how a repressed memory is created, nor how to heal it… so they tell you all the babel. What is not admitted to by any of the Psych people is that when you transition to sleep with an emotion it’s embedded in your learning (subconscious) without human language, and human language cannot heal this emotion. The healing of it comes easily by becoming relaxed and approaching the problem a if you are finding a better choice, just as you’d choose some spectacular color over gray.
  
  It’s too bad you haven’t actually seen this process occur. This way you’d understand what I’m talking about.
  
  Since people don’t see the abreaction, desensitization and emotional reframing occur, they can’t advise you to take this path. BUT, they won’t admit to their lack of personal knowlege in the process. This is like asking someone who refuses to eat calimari why they don’t like it… It’s like that, no one admits to not knowing what they don’t know.
  
  I’m sorry you lost your sister. My mother committed suicide, and in this process I have the biggest smile on my face in saying MOM, baking cookies and swimming lessons come to my mind over any other picture.
  
  I hope you find your emotional release, in what works for you. I’ve seen this work for 100s of people, in weeks.
  
  blessyourthoughts.com
  Paul
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• Oh dear LORD here we go again.
  

  I found out … I do NOT know, what I DO NOT KNOW.
  
  After Mother’s suicide the depression (some could call that PTSD)and grief were for me, from the 1st memories of NOT being able to make my Mother happy. Those memories which started a pattern was from as early as 3 or 4 years old.
  
  I did not know the initial memories of not making Mother happy would contribute to my Grief or Depression. I did not know my life experience was UNIQUE to me, and the “one size fits all” of antidepressants or cognitive therapy didn’t apply successfully to everyone.
  
  Do you think this is humorous? Humanity doesn’t know, what humanity doesn’t know? In a philosophical way, it is funny, don’t you think?
  
  Here’s what I also didn’t know. The Psychologist who doesn’t practice Hypnotherapy WILL NOT refer you to a Hypnotherapist, because THEY won’t admit they don’t know- what they don’t know.
  
  I also learned that Stage Hypnotists don’t practice THERAPY on the stage! That was my NOT KNOWING the difference between ENTERTAINMENT and THERAPY when the word ‘Hypno’ preceeds either. Before, I didn’t know, I thought HYPNO-everything is the same. At one time, I didn’t know.
  
  If Prayer, religion, counciling, therapy and anti-depressants don’t work, maybe opening the question, “what do I NOT know, and what do I need to learn” could be a positive move.
  
  (This is not an advertisement-) The opening of how to have the BETTER THOUGHT, and the REASON it’s BAD to start with… BlessYourThoughts.com
  
  Perhaps what is making you sad is so emotional, the core of that bad feeling is so totally hidden by fear or anger, you just don’t know what’s making you sad. It’s wrapped with such emotion, you can’t see the actual cause.
  
  Maybe, like I used to be, you just don’t know. Maybe the Bi-polar and PTSD is a matter of not knowing the cause, and once it’s brought to clarity, like it did for me, the shift can occur in a short time.
  
  Or maybe you like getting sympathy and staying stuck. I know why I was stuck. I learned what I didn’t know.
  
  Paul
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

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