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• engineering degree in electronics, with NO interest
  

  [quote S]@IVI4V3R1CK
  i’m in India currently, planning to get out for sure for work/study… my brother in law’s in malaysia, will DEF latch onto him after i’m done with my papers…[/quote]
  
  Ahhh, well coming from an American, there is plenty of IT work in India XD (No Offense, but the Americans who read this will crack a chuckle)
  
  But if you’re planning on moving to Malaysia, try to find work out there that would interest you and tweak your studies to that while you are still in country
  
  As for your girlfriend and your cultures, I am keeping as far away from that as possible. Anything I say may cause a war, and we are up to our knees in that lol
  - written 4 years, 2 months ago

• How do I stop a destructive relative from contacting my minor child?
  

  The full reply has came through and I was able to read it. It seems like this aunt has some serious things to get into line on her level which may be the things that attract your son into his involvement.
  
  I know when I was a kid, I was always hanging around the troubled kids. You know the type; the kind that never wore the fashionable clothes because they were from the other side of the tracks. Something about them just fascinated me. It may have been that it was a huge 180 from my life.
  
  See, when I grew up in a military family and I moved around a lot. Friends were hard to come by and without know I developed some chip on my shoulder which caused me not to be the most wanted person in the world.
  
  Anyways, I fell into the group who isn’t the most accepted, but they were accepting of me (later to find out they were all stoned and didn’t know I was part of the group until the next few weeks of me knowing them lol). Their stories, families, upbringing, etc just captivated me. From this point I just sat and listened to everything they had to offer.
  
  I then started to warp my personality to match a large amounts of theirs. I created a new person mixed with all of the traits that I wanted to be; the cool guy, the rebel, etc. Ultimately, it caused the relationship with my family to be warped into something that I never wanted to happen. This is why I was gone when I was 15. I was emancipated as I had a stable job, a place to live, and I could prove that I could function in society.
  
  The above described mom was the person who I lived with, so I was able to get the story first hand. AS you can assume, I witnessed things that most grown adults would have a hard time swallowing, but overall it made me a better person.
  
  Lol, I am now rambling, but I swear it has some meaning to your story. If you can remember the life when you were younger (around your son’s age) and the people you hung out with, chances are you have probably changed. I know I have. I was with the people I was with because I wanted to see something different.
  
  The aunt may be offering this channel to the son that the family has not be able to offer him. However, no matter all the pushing you do, you will never get him to stop talking with this lady if he doesn’t want to. As a young adult, he is wanting to show that he can leave his mother’s wing and be his own man. However, the only man he can really look to is the immediate role model (and trust me, when you were 13, your parents were probably the last people you wanted to be lol).
  
  I am not trying to scare you saying that he will turn into his aunt because chances are he won’t. However, he may learn things from her negatives. If she bad mouths the family, then he may learn that actions speak louder then words. If she abuses heavy drugs then he may see what they do to people and that may be his “auntie”-drug (haha, I had to do it). Regardless, you should still talk to your son, but try your hardest on condescending him. Don’t make him feel like he is below you and talking to the aunt will cause the apocalypse. This may push him farther.
  
  Instead, try another option, like explaining your youth and her youth. Compare it to his without using the term “When I was your age…”. I mean, its a sensitive subject for everyone, however, it doesn’t need to be taboo. Remember, just because you’re his parent doesn’t mean you can’t be his friend.
  
  And on a final note, let your son know that you aren’t perfect. Regardless that the aunt may be a compulsive liar, every lie was based on truth. Maybe letting your son into a darker chapter of your history will let him be interested and shift his attention from his aunt to hear the more personal stories about his mother.
  
  Every person is different, and this is all basically the things that make sense to me. I have yet to be a parent (thank God) but I do remember what it is like when I was a kid. I’ll also talk to my fiance and see if she has any light to shed on this subject.
  
  -IVI4V3R1CK
  - written 4 years, 2 months ago

• I have a mac laptop and my computer’s sound is
  

  Hmmm…
  
  Do you use iTunes, more imporantly for any Podcasts/News Feeds? I am wondering if something got fudged around with in there.
  
  In which, this could be a good step for when it happens next time (if it does):
  
  Open iTunes and play a song or something other then a News Feed with Obama in it. Try making the music go up and down in volume to see if the noise goes up or down. Then try messing with the computer volume (using the volume keys on the actual keyboard outside of iTunes) and see what happens there.
  
  Without actually being at your computer, its kinda hard trying to see what could be actually causing the problem, but if you say that you didn’t have any pop ups then the only thing it can be is a program.
  
  This is something else to look into:
  
  - If you are using OS X (Click on the Apple in the Top Left, then About this Mac and see if the OS is 10.x.x, preferably 10.4.x or higher so I can give further help more accurately) you should have the dashboard at the bottom of the screen showing apps that you can click on to make them appear. If there is a small arrow to the bottom we know that the app is still running. Try closing all apps when the music is running to isolate the issue to a specific program (iTunes, Safari, etc)
  
  If you need any further instructions, let me know and I can try breaking it down further for you
  
  -IVI4V3R1CK
  - written 4 years, 2 months ago

• How do I stop a destructive relative from contacting my minor child?
  

  Not a problem. I am glad I can spread something to help out others. I hope all goes well in the near future for you and your family and hopefully down the road you all can get together and laugh about it :) lol
  - written 4 years, 2 months ago

• my friend died on Feburary 3rd and its been so hard for me.
  

  Hey, first and foremost, sorry about your loss. I have lost several of my friends to suicide, accidents, drugs, and violence. I know your pain, though it may seem hard to believe. However, I can’t compare my pain to yours as every relationship is different.
  
  I can only offer this; try and move on.
  
  It can be hard to lose someone close to you, and you will never be able to replace them in the void that has been left in your heart. Every day I look back to the friends I have lost and what could have been, but the one thing that keeps me going is what’s happening now.
  
  Let’s role replace here, and put you in your friend’s shoes. How would you feel if he was just feeling sad and pushing things away knowing that you were gone. It would make you feel like crap, huh? Think of it that way, try to move on.
  
  You’ll never fully get over the loss, and it will take a lot of time to get over it just a little bit, but you got to move on. Try to occupy your time dedicating something to him (i.e. a memorial, a song/album/painting, etc). This way you aren’t feeling like you are forgetting him, but you are occupying your time with doing something constructive. This will get you out of the rut and back into the world to find new solutions to these harder problems.
  
  Hope this helps and fins you in god health,
  
  -IVI4V3R1CK
  - written 4 years, 2 months ago

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