Phantom gentleman's reply history at Help.com

yeah its a hard line to walk. I guess the best I can say there is if theres a guy there you do want to flirt with, flirt it up just a notch or two. we dont always distinguish casual and friendly , from hey Im interested very well.
Im not saying make it blatant, theres no fun in that.

but try to define the line yourself, and then work from that line and see if and how many of the gentleman in question starts responding differently.

good call. I myself am shocked that someone could be that naive. (meaning the writer of the article, but before I pass any kind of judgement would you mind posting a link to said article so I can peruse it myself?

Ill happily give them my own name as a gun owner. a 9mm carbine, a remington 12 ga. two colt .22s and after payday, a reuger .45 (depending on if any are still in stock.) and I passed a background check for each one of em.

I’m not exactly sure what you are asking. you mean like a keylogger, or a site tracker?

Speaking perspectively, a guy wont persue if he doesnt think you are interested. there are guys out there who think they can get any girl anywhere any time, but for those of us who are realists, we dont chase unless we get the notion that you want to be chased (and dont be too subtle about it, the male brain doesnt do subtlety well) because the truth of the matter is, we dont like being shot down anymore than you women do.

absolutely, the first poem does set a dark tone. but then so did “the raven” by poe.
“the hangman” by Maurice ogden and several others. even the classic “rime of the ancient mariner” by samuel tayler coleridge. and a few works by robert frost were viewed as somewhat morbid. but the fact is life isnt all sunshine and rainbows :) so if people are going to poetize life, some of it is going to be dark, and while the imagery is going to be just as vivid, its not going to make anyone burst into tears of joy.

for the purpose of immagery I like the first one better.

I think imagination is more like a muscle. it suffers more from atrophy and disuse than it ever does from constant flexing. and the more you use it the more you can use it.

I think its time for a frank discussion of the issues, bear in mind you both need to keep your tempers in check. I dont need to tell you that moving at the best of times is somewhat stressful. and forgive me for saying, but this doesnt sound like the best of times. and be sure and find a non attaxic way to point out that you realise he works hard and he comes home exausted, but that even after being married for some time your not a mind reader you dont know what he wants or how he wants certain things done with no input, and that its unfair to give no input and then voice dissatisfaction with the results. I think by the sound of it he is stressed too. I realise there is a lot to do, and not much time to do it in. However I feel compelled to suggest that if you both take some time together away from the situation (neutral territory so to speak) you could have a very productive discussion about how the two of you are going to handle this stressful time in your life together.

I hope this doesnt sound too creepy ikari but I for one kind of enjoy the level of comradship + anonymity that the sites like this one cater to. Its not nesisarily a bad thing, if someone needs help I can offer my experience and advice in the hope that it will help them. In turn I can benefit from the many diverse experiences and backgrounds that everyone else has to offer. And for the most part everyone is taken at face value, everyone has something useful to say. There is no “social caste system” to speak of. No “Im better than you because I’me better off” mentality. And lets face it, weather in rl or online, we all have to deal with eachother with a certain degree of trust. we trust that the background we are drawing from is more or less accurate. just as we trust that the person sitting behind us at work is not quietly plotting our demise. and in both cases only time will tell weather or not that trust was well founded.

“Sometimes a stranger is a best friend waiting to happen”_anonymous

and it’s brought even closer by the fact that even though you can’t go visit an “on line friend’s” place and see how they are doing, or bring them soup when they are not well. You can send em an e-mail. or perhaps even a hand penned letter, or in some cases a phone call just to let them know you were thinking about them and hope things are going well. so even though in some cases there are barriers that can not (and maybe even should not) be crossed. in some ways it inarguably brings the world closer together.

I have to say it, ” a wood chuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood… chuck” which is only fitting if your name is really chuck

It probably isnt good news but that is a risk you are taking if you decide to continue with this relationship. it sounds like your giving it your all, and she is not. but you dont seem happy in it. while Im not naive enough to think love =happyness. its not hard to understand that generally when two people love eachother they are generally willing to sacrifice for eachother, and Im not seeing that here.

I have to agree with quantum it may be that the two of you are not meant to be.

I have to answer that with a question. can you love her even though you know she is selfish? and are you willing to> if the answer to that is yes, then your going to be able to get over a lot.

in that case there will be lessons she will learn, but my bet is they will come hard.

its dangerous to say someone never had it hard, I will say this though based solely on what you have said, she does seem very self oriented. the trouble with that is its also dangerous to try to predict wheather someone will or wont change. usually Id say no, but sometimes life has a way of throwing real eye openers at us.

its shocking isnt it? so much to be sad about in the world, and yet.. so much that takes your breath away.