Hey, me and another person on help.com are doing an amatuer talent post. We will have voting afterwards. Are you in? I think your throat singing is awesome! I’ll stand up for you if anyone wants to say anything less than encouraging. : )
Oh good, at least you can keep those close to you for comfort sake.
I feel like crying gets it out too. It feels so much better than stuffing it in. If you stuff it in, it stays with you always. Sort of like a hum in the room. Always there, coloring everything you do. Yes, get it out in a healthy way. Always. : )
Sincerity above all else is key. So I’m sure it will be fine as long as you were sincere.
That really bites, lossing those logs. Especially when they meant so much to you. Sorry to hear that. Have you considered keeping a file in your email that you could put her name on and anything that is something she write or that you discuss with someone that is helpful you could copy and paste into that?
I am hurting right now too. It is painful and at the same time I am enjoying feeling my pain and watching it melt away. It’s so nice to be able to just say, “I’m hurting.” Or “I feel really hurt when I read this, or hear this, or consider this.” I can feel the good there was and is and let go of what hurts.
Maybe that’s not big but for me it is. This is new for me and I LOVE it!
I think that you getting closer. Still I sense a telling her what to feel and such… How about this…
It sounds like you are feeling some things right now that are very painful for you.
See how in this sentence you are more present and acknowledging her, rather than telling her, what is true, “it’s not your fault.” or telling her what to do about it, “you don’t have to blame yourself.”?
Also something like,
If I was in your position It would be really easy to blame myself.
This is more you acknowledging her and being present with her in her state of being whatever that may be.
Silence has it’s place and at the same time, you know the situation more than I so if you know something needs to be said than you would be the person to take that cue from.
Who knows who’s fault it is, I don’t think it is either. Some of this is her fault. It’s her fault for making that decision. It takes effort to choose your mental state in opposition of the outside influences. She needs to make that choice. Making things easy for her is good in some instances and over the long haul will just atrophy more her ability to chose her mental state in the face of what happens in her life.
The best thing for her is to do some inner work herself. That will be the only thing to really help her. You can only apply bandages, she has to choose to stop the bleeding.
It’s not about trying to get her to do something. She will feel and sense that.
Pick a time when you feel comfortable with being who you are and not feeling like you have to do this, or that. Then talk to her while you are in that state of mind. Might give you the biggest opportunity to connecting with her. Then there’s all the stuff we’ve talked about too. Just pick what works for you, what feels right.
Oh wow, that must be unsettling. Is there anyway you would be able to start waking and sleeping with the sun like people used to do when we all worked on farms? Also, allowing yourself to have darkness at those appropriate times, for at least 4 hours a night?
So perhaps you are not able to go to bed at 9:00pm and wake at 5:00am but every day you could make sure that from 1:00am to 5:00am you stayed in a dark room and rested even if you didn’t fall asleep. Or you could do that from 9:00pm to 1:00am. Or any other variation of choice. Then you would repeat that every night. It goes a long way in helping you have a sense of time.
When my baby’s were first born I did the same thing. It was because there was really no set time I slept or woke so I lost sense of days and such.
I can see why it would be easy to believe that there is something wrong with you with every new thing you notice about yourself, but I don’t believe it is the case at all. It is probably more that it is something simple like, not having a set time to sleep, or spending to much time infront of the computer screen or a host of other small things that interrupt everyone’s sense of time. it is a normal function of the brain for this to happen.
Even your memory issues’ you’ve mentioned are all expectable and normal for someone under the amount of stress that you are in. It interferes with your brain secreting the natural hormones and chemicals that it uses to remember things.
Still can easily be unsettling or at least annoying to be in that position. So many things to figure out, when all you want is a break or just some relief.
Yes and if she is presenting herself emotionally, meet here there first. Let her know you see where she is. Something like, “I can really see how your current situation must be difficult for you right now.” Something like that. Just acknowledge where she is first. Then you can talk to her about solutions or ideas.
If she is talking about all the stuff outside of her, start with that. “That sounds like a lot of things to have happen to you.”
Touch is just one way of connecting and showing you care on an emotional level.
I know that feeling. I have been finding my relief from doing the noticing and just allowing whatever is, to be what it is without trying to change it or analyze it thing. The most similar thing is the Sedona Method or the work Dr. Dan Seigel is doing.
Either way, that’s not a pleasant feeling. Sending you compassion and care. : )
He has a website, I checked it out. I might look for his book online or something, or just try to watch all his videos.
Sorry you’re feeling so down. Check out what the website for that guy says about this type of singing. Maybe it might help with your mood some? An idea. It’s okay to feel down too. There’s nothing wrong with any of our emotions and we can all learn to rise above them so they color our lives not create them.
Okay, so my throat singing is improving. I can actually make out some sort of sound that is close to what I think I’m supposed to be doing. I kind of sing the ABC’s and make throat sounds so that I can practice and sing to the kids. I sing to them every night. They like it.
Oh geeze, the dog is chewing the hardwood floor. How in the Hecks does a dog chew on a hard wood floor. (facepalm) It’s a flat surface… Catch ya laters. : )
Well, you’re honest and in touch with how you feel. That is the first step of what it takes to have something different.
Either way, meditating isn’t “easy” per say. It is a muscle. I’ve actually stopped doing the staying completely still and keeping my thoughts still meditation for something less rigid. I’m NOT a rigid person so that was just not working for me. And that’s how everything works. You take a suggestion from someone. Try it their way a couple times, maybe. Then you figure out what is useful from it for you and mold it into something you would even want to do.
Now I’m just doing the ‘noticing.’ I just notice things. I’ve getting better at it and it’s something I can do no matter what I am doing and basically whenever I think of it, rather than setting a time aside.
Just notice, don’t analyze, decide what something is, try to make it something else, wish it were something else, nothing. Just notice. And if you do start to do those things, just notice them.
I think I’ll stick with this one and do the other more rigid technic on days that I feel I well… want to. : )
I used to listen to heavy metal. I felt like it helped me get my feelings out, or at least feel them in a way that I felt it was okay. You know, if you feel your feelings, they go away. It’s just difficult to feel our feelings. We want to decide if they are good or bad or if we should even be feeling them.
Snow huh? Wow. Things are budding here. Very cold. Thinking of moving to somewhere with more sun. Can’t get enough of those sunny days.
Missionay Wikipedia page:
“in the Latin translation of the Bible, Christ uses the word when sending the disciples to preach in his name.”
I think nowadays missionaries are mostly cummunity and human-rights related, but I know that many years ago (like, centuries) they were there to convert people as well.
(accidentally posted this in my own shoutbox, haha)
Haha, funny you should ask - Sherlockian’s claim that 359,000 Christains were being martyred each year for their faith seemed ridiculously huge, and how would you even measure that anyway, so I’m doing some research…to put it in perspective, that number is like 12 times bigger than the amount of people who kill themselves in the US yearly, and almost a third the size of people who die in car crashes yearly, WORLDWIDE.
Oh and nowhere on Justin Long’s website could I find mention of that number.
I won’t be saying anything - I don’t think it’s really worth argueing - but it’s interesting…