Aries's profile at Help.com

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Last 6 Posts Authored

• USA STATES: KANSAS - WYOMING posted (5 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Kansas State Government Website: http://www.kansas.gov/index.php There are 105 Counties in Kansa…

• USA STATES: ALABAMA – IOWA posted (5 months, 3 weeks) ago
  U.S. FEDERAL, STATE & COUNTY GOVERNMENT SITES USA.Gov: http://www.usa.gov/index.shtml A-Z I…

• HOMEWORK HELP SITES posted (6 months) ago
  Hello There! If you found your way to this post, that means you are either seeking help with your h…

• Pension Plans: USA Federal or State Government Office? posted (7 months, 1 week) ago
  My question is: Is there a branch in the US government that “oversees” all pension pl…

• Advice & Research Needed re: Bartering / Trading posted (7 months, 1 week) ago
  This is not a pity call, but I do need: Ideas? Feedback? Websites? Input? Advice? Experience …

• Just had to have our youngest dog put to sleep. posted (7 months, 2 weeks) ago
  His name was Max; he was a lovable chow-mix mutt whom my husband rescued off the street as a barely…

• All Claimed Posts »

Aries's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (4 votes) I swear, I thought to myself ‘I don’t love her’
  

  Anonymous: I’ve been with hubby 32 years. I love the man with all of my heart. I would gladly die for him. But earlier today, I wanted to whack him upside the head with a tennis racket. And I can assure you: during that 1 hour period in time, my deep, profound and never-ending love for the man was NOT uppermost in my mind.
  
  Relationships are like that. A bond with another person can be sensational, sensual, exciting, and awesome. It can also be dumb-founding, frustrating, angering and confusing.
  
  Something I’ve recently said to a couple of dear friends of mine: A relationship is a living organism consisting of two separate living organisms. Hence, every relationship is in a constant state of flux.
  
  If you decide to give this relationship your all, be prepared for more moments like the one you experienced earlier today. Also be prepared for the fact that she will experience those same kind of moments herself.
  
  - written 6 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by Sans, Risen Demon, c-eek, Westnoteast

• (2 votes) My Life is a Roller coaster and It is spinning out of control.
  

  http://www.211.org/
  “2-1-1 provides free and confidential information and referral. Call 2-1-1 for help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more.”
  
  http://www.bailafamilyout.com/index.html
  
  http://www.redcross.org/
  “Today, in addition to domestic disaster relief, the American Red Cross offers compassionate services in five other areas: community services that help the needy; support and comfort for military members and their families; the collection, processing and distribution of lifesaving blood and blood products; educational programs that promote health and safety; and international relief and development programs.”
  
  TANF: TEMPORARY ASSISTANCE FOR NEEDY FAMILIES
  State TANF Contact Numbers: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/states/tanf-num.htm
  
  FIRST STEP BENEFIT PROGRAMS:
  Federal mainstream benefit programs in five basic assistance categories: Food, Income, Health Care, Housing, and Employment.
  http://www.cms.hhs.gov/apps/firststep/content/categories.html
  
  WELFARE & SOCIAL SERVICES STATE LINKS:
  http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/states/stlinks.htm
  
  A-Z Index of U.S. Government Departments & Agencies:
  http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/Federal/A…
  
  
  HRSA: US DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES
  Federally-funded health centers care for you, even if you have no health insurance. You pay what you can afford, based on your income.
  NATIONAL SEARCH ENGINE: http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/
  
  ADMINISTRATION FOR CHILDREN & FAMILIES
  http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/
  
  GENOME.GOV: Medical Financial Assistance Information
  ttp://www.genome.gov/11008842#assistance
  
  http://www.modestneeds.org/help/grants/
  Self-Sufficiency Grants
  
  “Modest Needs makes Self-Sufficiency Grants by remitting payment to a creditor for an expense on behalf of an otherwise self-sufficient individual or family for a relatively small, emergency expense which the individual or family could not have anticipated or prepared for.
  
  In making a Self-Sufficiency Grant, our goal is to prevent an otherwise self-sufficient individual or family from entering the cycle of poverty as a result of the financial burden posed by a relatively small emergency expense.
  
  Any qualified individual living in the United States or Canada may apply for a Self-Sufficiency grant. The maximum grant available under this program is either $1,000.00 or an amount equal to the amount of your monthly rental or mortgage payment, whichever is greater.”
  
  - written 5 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by Sans, c-eek

• (2 votes) i’m trying to hold on.
  

  They say that the two most stressful events in a marriage are: 1, buying a house and 2, money problems. I can attest to both of those.
  
  The problems you’re having are a bit too close to the bone for me to comment on, as we’re undergoing similar problems.
  
  But I will offer you this: My husband and I have been together 32 years. Roughly 20 years ago, we encountered a rough spot, and instead of standing side by side and supporting each other emotionally, we instead separated - literally and figuratively. That was a huge mistake, and we both learned from it.
  
  We’re currently undergoing much of what you’re going through. When the crud started hitting the fan, we made a promise to each other: No matter what lay ahead of us, we were going to duke it out together, side by side. And that’s exactly what we’re doing.
  
  But it takes work, Timmontan. Daily, sometimes even hourly, work. And **lots** of communication. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourselves to shut each other out. Talk to each other about your fears and anxieties. Vent to each other your frustrations with all that is going on in your lives and with how you’re feeling let down by “the system”.
  
  Most of all: “Be There” for each other. There are days when I’m the depressed one and he has to be the stronger half. There are times when I see him hurting and I’ll be the one to crack a joke and then tell him that all will be alright in the end; that we WILL make it through this. BE KIND TO EACH OTHER. Understand when the other one can not carry their share of the load. Whichever one of you is having the stronger day, that’s the one who takes up the reins and does the research and pavement pounding that will eventually get you back on your feet. And on those days when neither of you can seem to find the energy or courage to face your reality: hug each other, tell each other that it’s o.k. to take a day off from reality, pop some popcorn and watch a mindless movie or t.v. program.
  
  Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, start blaming each other or result to 20/20 hindsight “if only’s”. Blame the system, the establishment, our politicians and anyone else … but do not make the mistake of lashing out on each other.
  
  These are the rules we are living by to try to get through this mess that we did not create, but still have to deal with.
  
  Wish I could offer you real tangible assistance, but perhaps knowing that you are not alone in these horrific circumstances will help strengthen your convictions that no, you’re not crazy … you most definitely have been let down by your government.
  
  With empathy, understanding and sincere best wishes for better days ahead -Aires.
  
  - written 7 months ago – voted for by Risen Demon, Sans

• (2 votes) I’m so confused!
  

  You have a blind child whom you adore. If you want to possibly avoid both jail time and losing custody of your child: Go get yourself some legal counsel ASAP for whatever fraud activity you’ve done.
  
  For the sake of your child, put all else on the back burner.
  
  - written 7 months ago – voted for by Fuzzy Pepper, unsoshable

• (2 votes) How do i face the future 4 months ago i had a girlfriend
  

  Hi Paul. Well, ok, you hurt your Lady. When we hurt people, their most immediate and natural response is to return the pain. Maybe that’s what your thwarted attempt at apologizing was all about … the lady wanted you to feel the pain she’d felt.
  
  Also, from her point of view, she has a daughter and grandchild to think about and to protect. We females turn into lions when we even only think that our loved ones might be in harm’s way. Back in February, your Lady was not only hurting for herself, but for her offspring, too … and she probably gave you a triple dose of rejection because of that. Hey, I know I would have.
  
  Having said all that, I’m not so sure all hope is lost, Paul.
  
  I’ve been with my husband for 32 years … but I once told him that it was over between us for good. And I meant it with every fiber of my being when I said it. We were apart for about a year … during which time I healed from the hurt and he learned from the experience. Now here we are, 20 years later, still together.
  
  Unless you want to get it off your chest, you don’t have to share all that really happened back in December … having been there, I don’t have to work too hard at figuring out exactly how you hurt your Lady.
  
  Your Lady needs a bit of healing time, Paul. And you have a unique opportunity at this time to do some real honest soul searching and growing.
  
  She will heal, Paul. It might take some time, but she will. The question is, will you do your part - by that I mean, will you work on yourself - while she is healing?
  
  True love never dies, Paul. It takes a beating every now and then, but it never dies. Once she’s had time to heal, if she sees a changed and better man in you, she’ll want you back just as much as you want her back.
  
  Paul, get out of wallow mode and get yourself to a therapist asap. When we hurt the people we love, there’s usually a deeply embedded reason for why we do it. You need to find out why you did what you did. If you don’t find out why you sabotaged a good thing, you’ll not only fail to get your Lady back … you’ll run the risk of repeatedly sabotaging everything good in your life for the rest of your life.
  
  I can tell just by the way you’re hurting that you’re a good person, Paul. Rather than doing something foolish, why not instead work on becoming an even better person? The pay-off in doing that is so much greater.
  
  In the meantime, unless she’s so pissed that she’s put a restraining order out on you, you can still stay in contact with her and fill her in on your therapy progress. Just always make sure that you respect her space and her contact rules while she’s in her healing mode.
  
  So Paul … get up, shower, shave and find yourself a therapist. The sooner you start on the path that will get her back, the sooner you’ll have her back.
  
  Good Luck on your journey to self discovery and self improvement … it won’t always be easy, but it will be helpful and it will ease the pain you’re feeling now.
  
  With understanding and best wishes, -Aries.
  
  
  PS: Be sure and stay in touch with us. Write us often to let us know how you’re doing, to ask for advice, to vent, to just chat or all of the above. You’ve found people in here who care for you … we’re going to want updates!
  
  - written 7 months, 1 week ago – voted for by Luck of the Irish, Sans

Last 5 Replies – All 381 replies »

• Public Service Announcement
  

  Congrats, Lazydaze! Thanks for taking what seems to be a thankless job at times - the fact that you’ve taken on this task speaks volumes to your dedication to this site. Wishing you the very best of Good Luck - and as few headaches as possible - Aries.
  - written 3 weeks, 3 days ago

• im 17 and i thinking about killing myself my life is
  

  I agree with Leedarien - you’re 17; 18 and the path to freedom are right around the corner. Things change when you leave school, leave home, start a job … you meet a whole group of different people and you’ll find that the pettiness of your high school years are behind you. You’ll have way more interesting and caring people in your life … and you’ll be free as a bird to grab hold of every good opportunity that comes your way. I know (and remember) that at 17 a year seems like a decade - but believe me, 18 will be there waiting for you and with it will come a whole world of opportunities to make your own happiness.
  
  From what you’ve written, it seems like your dad is a bit of a hot head - and likes to take his anger out on the road. If this is indeed his way of dealing with his anger issues, frankly, that worries me the most. Is your Mom or any other adult in your family aware of how he behaves behind the wheel of a car? Are you able to find ways to NOT be in the car with him while he’s driving? Is there an adult in your life - a family member, a teacher, a school counselor whom you can speak with about this?
  
  You mentioned that there are some other reasons for feeling the way you do and that your life is falling apart … what sorts of things?
  - written 2 months, 1 week ago

• I’m having troubles with my birthday.
  

  As others before me have said, your friends should each be chipping in to pay for YOUR meal / drinks. On the other hand, if it’s a party that YOU organized, it might not be a bad idea to mention “separate checks” before the festivities start.
  - written 3 months, 1 week ago

• i was watching an inconvinient truth last night and i heard the line
  

  You can’t fix what you don’t see / know about. As long as you can claim that you had no idea there was a problem, you maintain a certain degree of innocence. If, on the other hand, you acknowledge that there is a problem - and you do nothing within your powers / skills that would enable you to fix it - by virtue of inaction, you accept part of the blame for the problem.
  - written 3 months, 1 week ago

• i need help with my math homework!
  

  You’ll find just about every possible math homework link in here - including calculators:
  
  http://help.com/post/278147-homework-help-sites#myLast
  - written 3 months, 1 week ago

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