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• my boyfriend is deployed.
  

  That really does suck. I’ve had friends that had boyfriends who were overseas, and largely I think they were just as scared as you are. First of all, being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t cry, it just means that you don’t shut down your life over this. Second, you can’t throw your burden on your friends, but remember that true friends are there for you when they see you at your worst. It’s okay to be scared. Finally, I want to offer you an idea that you can find in the Bible if you check it out. All it says is that worrying doesn’t add a day to your life (or to the life of your boyfriend). That’s not to say you have to pretend like these next few months will be the best of your life, but just let go of the things that you can’t control (and understand that God has control).
  
  Previouslyreligious
  - written 6 months, 2 weeks ago

• I am so sad.
  

  A couple of things…
  
  First, to some extent we are all selfish, but you are right in saying that you need to get over your selfishness.
  
  Second, you can get over your selfishness during marriage (while avoiding divorce). I’m recently married too, and I’m young like you, but don’t think that divorce is guaranteed. Remember, there have never been two perfect people who got married (only people who pretended to be perfect). I guess what I’m saying is that you can work on yourself during your marriage, and if your husband sees that then he will hopefully respect the change he sees in you.
  
  Finally, you need to talk to your husband. When people become married they become one person, and you need to try to help him understand both your fears and that you are trying and that you need his support. I can’t guarantee this will work, but just remember that even if he keeps bearing down on you, his words can’t stop your personal progress.
  
  And it may be irrelevant to you, or it may be very important, but I think that the view of marriage in the Bible is the prime example of what a man and wife are to look like.
  - written 6 months, 2 weeks ago

previouslyreligious's conversations are tagged:

Worry, Deployment, Self-loathing, selfishness, despair, Lonliness