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T♠♣♥, The T., T..., Anonymous T, T. User.
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☞T☜'s Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
- (1 vote) I’m sorry.
Talking to a professional is treatment, Nellie.
Anyway, I’m going to refer to something I wrote on a similar post a while back: You can not QUIT cutting. It’s not something you quit. That doesn’t mean you can’t abstain and keep yourself away from it, but there are larger things at work. Let me explain:
Everyone’s brains are set up to deal with problems. Cutting is your brain’s way of coping with these problems. It’s not the best way, we know that, but it’s how your brain is set up to handle things RIGHT NOW. If you try to “quit” cutting, you’ll leave your brain with no way to cope. And, as those of you who’ve relapsed have discovered, your brain MUST find a way to cope somehow. I don’t know what would happen if your brain didn’t find a way to cope, but for the sake of argument, just picture lots of things exploding.
So there we have it - your brain currently understands two things in life 1.) cut 2.) explode. Either way, not good. So, in order to help your brain along, you literally have to teach it other ways to deal with problems. You have to teach it other methods of coping and make sure it knows to use those first. Then when problems arise, you won’t NEED or WANT to cut. And THAT is how one stops - it stops itself, you see?
The best way to address this is through therapy with a professional that you understand and trust. Whatever issues underly your cutting - abuse, trauma, whatever - those need to be brought out in a healthy way. Just like an infection, if they aren’t addressed, they will keep right on bothering you and you’ll be right back where you started from. But you can definitely change your life if you want to!
- written 4 months, 1 week ago – voted for by trekkie - (1 vote) So, I lied to my girlfriend about divorcing my wife who is having my baby.
She doesn’t trust you while you were cheating on your wife with her? SHOCKING!
You need to sort this out, quick. You’re a father now, so regardless of how awful of a person your wife is, you’ve got some responsibilities that you can’t deny and some of them are going to involve your wife, at least for the next 18 years. Personally, I’d rather see you settle all this before your son or daughter is old enough to know better. If you already know things are hopeless, there’s really no point in driving an innocent human being through your river of chaos. And don’t even think about trying to skip out on the kid, cause they’ll find you…
Anyway, as for your girlfriend, she has every right not to trust you, as does your wife for that matter. I sincerely hope that she, at least, knows what kind of schmuck she married and isn’t holding out for a chance of ways. The only way you’ll even *deserve* a second shot at this is to legitimatize the divorce proceedings and make a genuine commitment to her. Otherwise, you’ll just be screwing her over while she waits endlessly for you to grow up. At this point, it appears that there are potentially 2 other women waiting for that, so she might as well get in line.
Seriously. Figure this out.
- written 4 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by Aries - (1 vote) How do you know if u’re a sex addict?
I was hoping we’d get at least to the 3rd post until the “what’s your number” line…
Anyway, the recipe for sexual addiction is: 1.) A history of sexual abuse combined with 2.) A family history of addiction. Sexual addicts, in my understanding, typically use sex as a method diminishing other, deeper emotions. The act of sex becomes much a drug, where the addict craves the mental release but simultaneously craves a way to end the cycle. Accordingly, they will often experience intense feelings of guilt, remorse, or even revulsion at the prospect of sexual intimacy. This of course leads to a desire to replace these feelings of remorse with….more sex.
So there you have it. I don’t think this describes you as your feelings about the issue don’t seem quite overwhelming yet. It’s certainly something to consider, though I suspect the issue lies far deeper.
- written 4 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by chunkymove - (1 vote) my dad was my best friend in the world, but he died
Ok, so it sounds like you want to do something your father would have liked to do if he were here, is that right? It’s important to remember that your Dad is living a bit of a different life now. I know you really want to give him something, but you don’t owe gifts anymore, Miranda. The gifts are for you now, because he’s got the greatest gift of all. Just think of him as being able to fish and camp anytime he wants…it’s like every day is Father’s Day!
So if you do want to something, do something for BOTH of you. Maybe watch a movie that he would have enjoyed or read a book he liked. Do something that makes you feel close to him, because even from where he is now, I’m certain that’s something he still really wants to do.
- written 4 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by smile :D - (1 vote) Tim Hortons: why was I transfered?
When I was 18 and in school, I made the mistake of going head-to-head with my manager demanding better hours, assuming he’d give in. I also took the bus and didn’t really enjoy getting there. Needless to say, my coup did not turn out as I had planned. In retrospect, I probably couldn’t have gotten what I wanted, but I might have gotten a lot farther with my manager had I approached him in a more reasoned way. My advice to you is request a meeting with him (or the store manager) and explain why this move will be problematic for you. Bring along your school schedule and show him the spots that are causing trouble. Approach the situation as if it something you can solve together. That’ll put your manager in a great place because he’ll see you as someone who has real “problem solving skills”, which are apparently something that all managers like. If he simply blows you off and tells you you’re stuck with what you’ve got, then honestly look for another job. He hired you as a student and if he’s not willing to work with that, than he shouldn’t have hired you.
- written 5 months ago – voted for by Aries