Amoloney93's reply history at Help.com

I understand what you’re saying but this is a long lasting habit thats going to be hard to break like biting my nails and i know these problems are stupid and pathetic to people but i just needed to get it out there.

when i look in the mirror i hate myself then i insult myself, i went through a phase of cutting myself infront of the mirror and i don’t know why i spent a whole summer inside cutting i don’t call that normal would you?

I tried thinking back to old girlfriends then all i do is remember a good day out with them then remember ruining it later or stupid things that happend when going out with them and then it circles on again i think that for every good thing i’ve done i’ve ruined it

just whatever you do don’t fall into self harming and if you’ve started try and stop as soon as you can it is a really bad thing to get into i’m not doing horrific cuts but still i don’t like what i’m doing, don’t try and hide it the longer you keep it hidden the harder it is to tell someone just get it out in the open straight away tell someone and go see a doctor the sooner the better.

i’ve listend to hard rock for a while and just recently i have listend to alot more screamo bands and it doesn’t really do anything for me it’s just music i’ll just listen to anything aslong as it has a good beat.

i’m more scared about the self harm side that i’ve developed i think my parents will see me differently and will become even more over protective to a point where i might not be trusted with anything

yeah everything is great with my parents but i usually keep to myself as much as possible when it comes to my life because i don’t want them to get involved and i find it really hard to open up because i have masked all my problems because of how angry i was like 4 years ago so for like 3 years i have held back and i can’t stop masking the problem i can never answer no not really whenever someone asks if i’m alright i always say yes and can’t complain.

i’ve thought about going to a doctor because my local GP is just around the corner but then i just over analys everyting like what i might say how will i put it, what their answer will be, what they will surgest, how will i tell other people, what will they say just constant questions keep running around my head and then i just get angry at myself and threaten to commit suicide in the mirror then laugh at how pathetic i’m being about how over exadgerated i’ve made the whole issue and that i could never do it because i created this whole masking issue to protect my family from harm and worry and suicide would just do completely the opposite.

well think back
whats happend that you started again? it doesn’t happen by chance something must have happend to set these feelings off again

none of this is your fault the more you blame yourself the more that you will harm yourself think back to the things you used to do when you weren’t doing this then try and go back to them don’t let other people influence you either try and stay in a positive mind even though it is a stuggle to do so
and also don’t try and mask the problem because if it goes on for too long you can’t get round the obstical you have created for what you think is your own pretection

find something that pre occupies you that usually stops me somedays when i get really depressed and feel i need to cut just do something random that puts your mind elsewhere

i know you would have heard this advice before but you need to tell someone it’s very hypocritical of me to say this because i’ve just started self harming about a month ago and i can’t come over telling my parents about it because i don’t know what the reaction will be but since your parents are already aware that you have done this you can be sure that their reaction will not be as bad as the first time you told them about this problem and they will know how to get you help again. If you just don’t want to upset them what you should do is privately go to a doctor and get professional help.

i know and thankyou again for listening to me complain and for all of the advice i will definatly do something about the way i’m feeling

i’ve asked myself that question before and depending on how i feel on different days i get mixed reactions one half says hopefully and another gives out a feeling of fear because there was once a part of me that would never self harm and yet i have been doing so on certain days over the past month

thanks both of you for the advice and i will try to tell someone and get help but i have went for so long on these feelings i think i will need time to get round to it