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• i was with someone for two years and i feel like i loved/love her for real (i’m old enough to be able to use that word i thinkl).
  

  I know what you are going through, to a certain extent. I was with my boyfriend for two years, but four weeks ago, he ended things because he didn’t think we would be happy if we wound up married, and he thought it would be better to have pain now rather than anguish later. I’m devastated though. I loved him and I thought he was the one. (I still think he was the one…) I also miss my ex all the time, and worry that I will never really move on or find someone else I feel this way about.
  
  My situation is different than yours, however, in that my ex & I have not spoken since the breakup, amicable though it was, while it sounds as though you and your ex are still friends. I’ve been wondering whether seeing him and talking to him would make things more or less painful, but as he seems to be going for the no-contact, clean-break approach, I suppose the point is moot.
  
  I’ve heard that supposedly, after a break-up, you should have six months of no-contact before talking again, but I am not sure if this actually makes things better. At any rate, it sounds like, if she’s moving on now, you guys might have broken up awhile ago, so the whole six-month thing might be irrelevant. I’m not sure whether it would be more or less painful to distance yourself from her; either way, it is going to hurt really bad, that’s just a fact. I guess you need to ask yourself which would be more painful: not talking to her, not seeing her, not sharing your day with her, not knowing what she’s doing, etc. VS. seeing her all the time, hoping at the back of your mind things will change, but likely watching her move on, fall out of love, and find someone new. I don’t know which is the better choice. I wish I did, for both of our sakes. It is something you’ll have to decide for yourself, I suppose.
  
  I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but I’m going through it myself, and I am still squinting, hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only comfort I can offer you, if it even is comforting, is that you are not alone in your suffering. I wish you the best of luck in getting through this. I hope everything works out for you, and if they don’t work out the way you wanted, I hope they ultimately work out better than you ever dreamed. I know it doesn’t feel this way right now, either for you or me, but maybe this loss is a blessing in disguise. Maybe. On that Hallmark-y note, since I have probably written way too much, I bid you good luck and goodbye.
  
  
  P.S. Sorry about the rambling and weeping. But I hope that some part of this helped.
  - written 4 months, 3 weeks ago

Rising*From*Ashes's conversations are tagged:

Love, lost, Soulmate