villaveces's reply history at Help.com

Its possible that your panic attacks have something to do with your lack of income…

I see what you are saying about your husband being your only friend…I would start by looking at galleries or older women artists who have studios and are making it. Start by working for very little or no pay…just get your foot in the door and start hanging out with successful people. Soon enough if you work at it and are trustworthy they will eventually give you a job and you will be around art and artists.

I started working for artists (successful older artists who nurtured me and turned me on to make money) while in school. This enable me to skip the growing pains from when I was 20. I was hanging out with people who really had answers and I didnt waste time with “friends” my own age and hanging out. 90% of the people I was in school with were just into drugs and lacked the responsibility or knowledge to do something worthy.

Hang in there and if you are into art then immerse yourself with people and businessess that are successful. And since you are already married then you don’t need to waste your time with “going out”. I am not a doctor or know your particular condition but I bet you anxiety will gradually dissappear as you do what you are supposed to be doing…and if you are indulging in drugs/drinking then tone it down.

You are still young and battling with hormones and not having children is not easy.
Having a child could help you but only if you have the money and support from family… otherwise it can stop your career on its tracks.

I would like to take this time to say a prayer for you…may you find people who you can nurture and nurture you…may you find peace in your soul that everything is just ok and you realize that you are but on a journey that unfolds itself asyour life passess…may you be inspired to make wonderful art that wakes the soul…may you have good fortune to realize and see the great things around you…

Where I live there is free medical treatment and psychiatric help for artists. I have noticed that this has been very helpful for some artists to be able to talk about their problems with people who are not interested in their money.

I hope I have not rambled too much and something I say can make some sense…
I was in your shoes at your age…in hindsight things were not as bad I thought and
it was just me I had to get over with…good luck and keep reaching out.

i am just wondering why a movie theatre? It seems like a little bit of exhibitionism.
Do you want other people to watch?

But yes it comes naturally… and you will know pretty quickly if you are compatible or not. Sounds like fun…the best thing of it is you wont get pregnant.
Good luck

hello, I am sorry about yur situation. I am a little confused about your husband…is he not your friend?

You need to take art to a level like that of any other business. Do you work full time at it? Are you producing artwork that is marketable? What kind of artwork are you making?

Why do you need a friend that you can see every day- what is up with your husband?

My wife found a group of artists that have a communal studios. The good thing is that she has found people just like her who also want to make artwork. The bad thing is that she treats it like a social thing and is not responsible enough to treat it like a business. So she is happy about her find but she is still not making any money. The artists that are successful work at least 8 hours a day and start by charging little and then they work their way up.

Find artists or galleries that are successful and go work for them…even if you have to work for free or not much just to get your foot in the door…Most good gallery jobs are taken by people who were there as apprentices and then ended up with a cool job.

Most successful artist that I have met have degrees and teach or have a job. It is very difficult to depend on art sales for a dependable income…sprecially if you have a family.

Good luck

I’m with Anonyous… What is so crucial about her being late? Some people are great at what they do but cannot judge time very well. How else is she performing?If she is “the best that you have ever seen” then are you willing to settle for a mediocre employee that is on time?
Also, a lot of times the mediocre employees who know how to kiss a*s and behave in front of others, and follow the rules end up being the bossess or in charge…
You need to look at the big picture and see if she is worth it or not..
You have not stated what kind of work this is. Good luck

Hey i hope this can be of help…You are definitely not alone. It is not your fault that you are in this predicament.

Like a lot of other people you need to look at this as a challenge. If you want to educate yourself then you can do this on your own. All you need to know is to read.
If there is something specific you want to study then go to public libraries or the internet and read all about it.
If there is a specific company you want to work for then offer yourself as an apprentice to get your foot on the door.
You might have to work and do things illegally until you can solve your problem,
but there is always a way.
You do not have a terminal decease and things can get better.
If you just want to go to college because everyone else does then that is not good enough. College is not all its supposed to be. For most people its a real waste of time and they are there pretty much just to party.
hard work is what sets us appart. Dont have children early, they will just make your life more difficult- unless you need to be inspired and you want to struggle harder.
The hardest part is the mental part…are we american? are we mexican? what the Heck are we? do we fit? what are supposed to do?
We all go thru this. This is normal. Just do what you can and do it as best you can.
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING BY ASKING!
Carefully look at the answers you are getting- the solution is there somewhere.
Dont dwell on the people who are against you- we all have someone that doesn’t approve of us.
Good luck.

It is situations like this that push you to the limit. Dont despair and embrace your situation for it is when we are at are lowest that we can fourish. We need something to shake us to the core…
It is hard to speak of your husband for there can be a million reasons for his inability to produce….health/ignorance/etc.

If there are no jobs then you create one or move to where the work is…this is nothing new- people all over the world do this every day…

For most of us life is but struggle… but if you find yourself with the arms and legs to do it- consider yourself lucky…if you can see and hear and feel- consider yourself lucky…. if you have family and friends-consider yourself lucky.

Sometimes when you just don’t know then you must seek for something greater than you… like church, look at the people around you and see who is making it.
Look around see who you trust, who do you admire? Who do you look up to?
There you will find the answers. But life is all about hard work and we are measured by how we dealt with adversity.
You can triumph over your situation if you desire and believe that there is something better for you and your children. God works in mysterious ways and faith prayer and diligence with a little bit of love will turn your life around.

Know that you are not alone…when you are struggling with life remember that there is a lot of us out there going thru some hell or another.
Visit a river or an ocean or a big forest and replenish your energy for this is the life force we need to survive, get your feet dirty, swim, breathe and behold the nature that cradles you.
And don’t forget to do things with your loved ones for we will all disappear one day
and TIME STOPS FOR NOONE.

I pray for you that you can find peace and clarity of purpose so you might life a happier life. And a good job!

Hey I sweat a lot because I am overweight and I carry around and extra coat. I also sweat alot when I am nervous. I would speak to a doctor to make sure that it is not a medical condition or maybe to help you with stress…I personally don’t think it is a good idea to use antiprepirants and things that mess with your body functions.

I send you warm regards, some kind words and wish I could hold your hand, listen to you, and love you as you deserve to be loved. Never ever be ashamed of asking to be loved it is what we really need in the depths of our soul, we cannot live without it.
I love you. Don’t forget to love yourself.

What is a Duty report?

Hey, I ‘m with you on marrying people just like that. I also have officiated on people that I did not think should be getting married or did not really understand what they were doing or who I was, and my responsibilities towards them. If they just need someone to marry them they can just go to any courthouse and many churches and people will be glad to take their cash. I wouldn’t put a lot of energy on the people who do not understand you, its not worth the time. Concentrate on one who do understand and want to do positve things that you are into…life is too short.

Hey man, I have some advice for you. Man to man. I’ve been in the position you are now in and I was in for some abuse and I didn’t learn and did it a few times until I wised up. You are probably excited by her because its about the only female you have been around (that has aknowledged your existance). If you were to run into another sweet girl that would even talk to you your knees would go weak and you would be in for some abuse. Sigrun is right on the money.
What annoys you most about this other fellow is what makes him attractive to this kind of girl. Some girls are attracted to Men who tell them what to do and are in command and are assuring, strong, viril, forceful, etc, etc, you get the point.
She probably appreciates you as a friend but probaly nothing more and if you can’t stand being around her as just a friend, and her smooching on someone else, then you are wasting your time. She is not married and probably young and she can date whomever she wants to and hang out with whomever she wants to and if different people ask her about someone specific she can say whatever she feels is appropiate at the time. Give her a break…there is a lot of pressure on, and she probably doesnt have all the answers either.
You need to be patient and go hang out with people like you and go do the things you enjoy doing and you will meet some one when you least expect it. (If it were me doing it again I would go go to e-harmony or something like that who will help you hook up with someone compatible)
I do not mean to be disrespectful in any way when I say this…
It is possible that you are not really intersted in being so macho and building your body, and barking orders and behaving like a jerk, etc. There are plenty of women who would love to hook up with you and tell you what to do, when to doit, and how and you would be perfectly happy with that. Its OK if that is who you are, you dont need to appologize, and you dont have to fit the dominant role, etc. You can just be yourself. (If you are a vegetarian you dont have to appologize to meat eaters!)

Life can be dog eat dog…and it is very harsh. Testosterone makes us ridiculously stupid and girls that are on the know or thay feel like they got you and you are done for -KAPUT- you are finished.

If you want to meet a decent sweet girl then you need to wait because she is not going to stick out and she will be looking for someone who can afford to buy a house, the car, some credit cards, treats her right, goes to work and takes her to dances, etc.

If you are still in school then finish your school first, get a job, make some money (you will be really attractive- no matter what you look like) grow into a really desirable person. date and have fun but don’t get caught up in a relationship that will end when you realize that you can’t afford it.

Right now you just want someone to love you and be sweet with you etc but most of us have to suffer thru this. And its not well recieved if you have fun and slut around and try this and try that (there can be negative consequences to this also).

Sorry to ramble on but this is so crucial, man. Get it right, be smart, be patient and you will end up happy and in love with some beautiful woman

Good luck.

Vines I think Heather is right. Don’t get mad at those that disagree with you. If you want a lasting relationship you have to learn to disagree and not take it so personal, not everyone has to agree with you. I have been sitting down for 20 years with couples (along with friends, parents, etc) to design wedding cakes and for tastings.
I have only seen 1, I repeat 1 groom that was truly interested and not there because his wife or someone wanted them to be there. This groom turned out to be gay and is now a caterer and remarried with another fellow, who also loves weddings!
Some young grooms are so happy they have a girl they will even go to a cake tasting if it means that they will get what they want.
Life is just like that. Don’t get caught up in these details that become more important than your boyfriend. Like Heather said, find people who really care like you do and look at the good aspects of people. You will be surprised how much easier it is. And your temper………..just kidding.
Good luck.

I agree with you for the most part but the reason I bring up the convicted criminals is because if you practice a “normal” religion then you still have rights otherwise you dont.
I am new to posting on the internet and as an outsider to this new form of comunication I apologize for the tangent.
The answer is indeed simple there is no law and in a way its similar to our right to vote.

Oster sometimes we have to get a little off topic to make a point or like yur brain joke to lighten things up. I just added some of my experience with religious practices of native americans , rastafarians, sufis, etc.
I assisted the spiritual leader of the Muscogee to bring spiritual counseling to Native americans in jail at the federal penitentiary and they had no problem if you wanted to conduct a service with a cross or for that matter I observed that someone was allowed to carve a cross and other christian religios figures.
But the people in charge (with crossess and 10 commandments on their offices) could not accomodate for a sweat lodge (Which was designed to accomodate the grounds and deal with the fire) and to slap everyone on the face even harder they sent everyone else who wasnt christian to the Nastive Americans as “other”. Not only did different native americans have different religious practices but all of a sudden we had rastafarians, sufis, and a buhdist. We were deffinetly not allowed to bring any sage, marijuana, mushrooms, or anything other than a bible.
And if you study the constitution and its framers you can clearly see (like christianity) that these were all just ideas that were clearly there.
My intention is not to say that the constitution is ridiculous. Ridiculous is to think that it really means anything. It is all interpretation. The constitution of the US requires constant interpretation and was written at a time of religious expansionism and puritanical values. People like Jefferson were well aware of what would happen to them if they really wrote against the power of the church. The ideas in the constitution have been around for a long time and Greeks like Plato and many Romans wrote about this dilema of church and state.
Henry the 8th founded a new church and told the pope to stick it. a move that assured the power of the British.
Rulers and elected officials can be religious people but unfortunately christians have a need to convert others even if they have to kill a few. From the bloody crusades, the inquisitions to today. They have the moral ground and what better intention than to save a soul!
I apologize for ranting but these issues will not be solved by a mere piece of paper.
Like all the pieces of papers given to Natives all over the world (including paper money) the US constitution means nothing specially if you have a good lawyer.
And just like it happened to the romans and other before, America feeds on a crusade or another to rape and pillage the world and the displaced people end up here to claim it as their own and witness its demise. People are so full of themselves that they really think that they will witness the so called rapture of the scriptures.
But using fear to control the massess is nothing new. Be scared and vigilant it is no coincidence that the cross is also a sword.
I dont mean to speak of chritians alone. You can see the same in most religious zealots. Muslim fundamentals. etc. People are not happy enough to be religious or good or helpful or kind.
I have been a refugee from a war…I have witnessed American soldiers rape and pillage, load drugs to bring to the us, and recieve the blessing of the people and the church first hand. This is nothing new. Iraq is but a distraction.
So keep praying. Help people around you. Don’t blame the poor blacks and hispanics and natives for their conditions, we are all the cause of our misery and we can also be the cause of our happiness.

This is difficult. Your peers are the most important thing in your life (i am not kidding)
But as you have stated- something your mother has warned you about is even more important than the peers. What these kids that are doing drugs and cutting are lacking is personal attention. Lets not kid anyone….if you lack attention then doing something like smoking, drinking, sexual behavior might seem cool because its taboo.
Some kids need to go through this behavior.
Consider yourself lucky that you don’t need this kind of attention and that you can see that this is not really cool. When you grow up you will probably not have anything to do with most of the people you see now. Find other kids that have better things to do…troubled kids always attract attention but regret it later.
Hang in there and thank god that you have a caring mother.