My mind always goes blank when having to write an account of myself, I hate it! I shall endeavour to summarise.
I am 25 years old and struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder it has made a train wreck of my life. I came from a good-natured family with strong principles and it was planned I would get the best grades attend university,greaduate and have a good life with a good circle of friends doing a job I love.
However when I got to university I had a mental breakdown due to trying to hide my condition and was back home for a year. I tried working as a waitress in a private hospital for 3 years, rented my own place, got hugely ripped off and sretched the rent over credit cards which has landed me in the shit financially over the next few years. I managed to pay off the debts last year but got another breakdown, my nerves were shot. I took a long time to leave the house just to get the paper or coffee because I was terrified of going outside where I was convinced people were watching me and making judgments.
Couple of years later I met my husband William and it was a whirlwind Romance. Before I know it we were married and three weeks after dating he confessed he had kids. I should have seen that as a warning sign but knowing he had been through a bitter custody battle and lost complete access to his children I sympathised and thought he deserved a better life.Boy was I wrong. The man had been in the army for 6 years and spent his childhood stealing cars and smashing up derelict buildings. He as an atrcious temper and used to hit me a lot and always puts me down. Since being with him I fell pregnant and he cahnged his mind said he didn’ want it.So, worried I couldn’t cope alone with a child in my condition, I made the heart-rendering decision to have a 5 month abortion. The experience was horrific and I will have to live with that guilt forever.
However currently living still with husband and been planning escape for a long time. Im sick of being told Im nothing and a wate of space and the fear is gone. I am only afraid that in applying for homelessness will be surrounded by well rough people and not sure whehter they will be hostile to my passive nature.
All in all I harbour one dream and that is to be able to write books. Although my personality disorder creates the most extreme abrupt mood swings,reading books and writing have remained the constant. I am looking for a way to make thi happen. After I sort out all the homeless shit and the benefits first.
Family wise, I have one father.My real mother died of breast cancer couple years back. Dad remarried and we now have a stepbrother,stepsister, big brother and little sister.We get on all okay save my stepmother and stepbrother, but life isn’t all perfect.I want to achieve so much, I know I can, and I will not let this illness defeat me.
Where did you grow up?
Where do you live now?
What is the highest level of education you have attained?
What subjects did/do you enjoy the most at school?
History, English Language and Literature, Art
What's your favorite sport or sports?
What kinds of jobs have you held? Industries too!
What hobbies are you into?
Writing. drawing, observing others,good conversation, challenges
What causes are you concerned about today?
those with ill mental health should not to written off because they look okay on the outside