noonelikesaknowitall's profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• I seem to be getting a lot more ‘waiting for approval from a moderator’ recently posted (3 months, 2 weeks) ago
  I just posted, ‘and open a window!’ and it went for approval, am I on a trouble maker l…

• Quantitative easing posted (6 months, 2 weeks) ago
  May be I have the wrong end of the stick (I’m English meddling in American stuff here) but di…

• Thinking of giving away my dogs. posted (7 months) ago
  I have two Yorkshire terriers and they are good dogs. They are proving to be hard work though. Sinc…

• My Baby Girl posted (8 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Well my wife had our baby, needless to say we are exhausted but delighted. I just love my daughter …

• A relative of mine died in America posted (1 year, 6 months) ago
  I have a relative who died recently. Sad though that is it is not what I need help with. She may h…

• Do doctors make mistakes? posted (1 year, 7 months) ago
  (of course they do but about this particular thing!) I am waiting to hear if my wife has an eptopi…

• Recently Married. posted (1 year, 8 months) ago
  I have problems with the father of her child (big rant comming) My position, I got married a week a…

• All Claimed Posts »

noonelikesaknowitall's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (3 votes) I am slowly going away from the God?
  

  Things tend to make more sense once I have been through something, it can get tough at times when I dont understand what is going on or why it is going on. Experience though has taught me that pain need not be feared, it is like a refining tool and if we let it then it may change us for the better (not always easy to accept in the middle of a bad patch though)
  
  A friend of mine used to share, it is easy to see Gods will when things are going your way.
  
  another friend used to share, the spiritual journey is like a voyage at sea. Unlike a journey on land where you have all sorts of land marks to pass to know you are moving in the right or wrong direction, that give you a sense of progress, the spiritual journey is like being in the middle of the ocean with no idea how long you have been there, if you are moving in the right direction, if you will make it at all to your destination but then there is NOTHING like the feeling of when land finally comes into sight and victory is at hand.
  
  - written 7 months, 1 week ago – voted for by Grim_Hardcastle, RaheelFarooq

• (3 votes) Is Google God?
  

  People seem to worship anything and everything, if you feel Google deserves your worship knock yourself out, personaly I am happy with Jesus as worthy of worship and everything else just being.
  
  I know as I step over into eternity it wont be google I am praying to LOL.
  
  - written 9 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by Positivemessylove, Blest, . . .

• (2 votes) What is the way to attract God towards us ?
  

  I have no idea what is going on for you (no one has responded at the time of writing this) but I would like to share some of my experience with you
  
  I had a period where I was praying for my business to get busier, for nearly a year I tried and nothing. In fact I noticed that despite the seasonal fluctuations I would stay at the same numbers because I would either gain a client when quiet and loose a client when busy, resulting in me staying at the same numbers all year. It was so weird that I started to think that maybe God was trying to tell me something. So I started to look at other stuff.
  
  For this year my business was loosing money (a horrible, painful and depressing experience) and I moved away from the idea that God does not care (after a while I got stuck in a rut thinking that as I was praying for more business and getting nothing that could only mean one thing, God does not really care) and decided that he was trying to get my attention over another matter.
  
  So I started to look at my purchase costs. I thought I was getting a good deal off my suppliers until I started to look around properly. I now had the time to do it and I realized I was paying over the top for my raw materials. So I toughened up with my suppliers (this was a big issue for me, I was still a people pleaser at heart) I started to use new suppliers who were keen for my business and willing to offer me a much much better price.
  
  So then at the very same busyiness I had been at for a year, loosing money, after about three months of really hard and challenging work I realized this was the level of business my business could break even at, if I were being more proffesional about my purchases. I was amazed. Not only that as soon as I hit the break even point the phone rang and I had two new contracts that took me into profit. How is that for timing.
  
  My point is perhaps you should look at what is going on and see if there is something else that perhaps you need to focus your attention on. God is aware of your wants and needs.
  
  This was an amazing part of the journey for me, (even though I feel I have not expressed it properly) I am far better able to deal with the reality of situations (the reality of the business world) how they actually are, not how I would like it to be!! (in this instance everyone just giving me the best price they can with no effort on my part)
  
  God has not given up on you even though it is tempting to think that (I do it all the time!) as you move through stuff, you will see the growth and the end game and the bigger plan.
  
  - written 2 months, 2 weeks ago – voted for by lairm, michele_lee_perry

• (2 votes) My name is ‘Doug’, I am 35 and recently lost everything.
  

  ‘Linuxya’ posted this a while back to someone who was feeling suicidal, I did rather like it so I have copied and pasted it for you
  
  You can always put off suicide. No reason to debate the subject right now.
  
  Instead, look at the reasons you are thinking suicidally. It comes down to a pressure deep inside you that makes you think “NOTHING IS OK, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW TO FIX IT, NOTHING WILL FIX IT, SO I HAVE TO DIE”
  
  Right?
  
  Let’s break that down into pieces:
  
  1. NOTHING IS OK - well.. you are literate, self-aware, educated, kind, and you have access to the Internet. So there are lots of OK things. Plus you seem open to figuring things out.
  
  2. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW TO FIX IT - this is anxiety taking hold; when you are anxious you feel like you must immediately act; this is just a FEELING… doesn’t mean anything at all… it’s your brain’s warning system going off like a faulty smoke alarm… so take out the battery of that faulty smoke alarm and relax for a minute
  
  3. NOTHING WILL FIX IT - the most common answer to any advice is “I tried and it didn’t work.” If you back away from your problems for a bit, you see that EVERYONE has faced similar issues (for me, death of wife, fired from job, business failure, severe anxiety problems, angry father, cold mother, etc etc etc) but we all find a way to cope with our anxieties eventually based on experience, reading, learning, etc. There are plenty of simple fixes out there for you.
  - focus on others
  - focus on being a positive influence for others (even if it’s smiling at them — it can brighten their whole day if they are feeling as crappy as you!)
  - plenty of exercise, decent food, avoiding stimulants/narcotics/depressants/sugar/caffeine/etc.
  - create tiny goals and PERSIST with them until you achieve them; celebrate (even if it’s doing the laundry) then move on to the next one… ALWAYS CELEBRATE EVERY TINY THING YOU DO RIGHT! Get in the habit of it!
  
  4. SO I HAVE TO DIE - know where this comes from? when you get into the habit of giving up on things… giving up on what you want, giving up on your goals, giving up on people… then eventually the only thing left to give up on his life. But like I said… the key is to stop giving up on stuff. Make your goals smaller until they are tiny and achievable… and work your way up
  
  Contentment is not the absence of problems… contentment is maintaining your integrity and being a positive influence for others while coping with life’s INEVITABLE challenges.
  
  I’ve felt suicidal countless times. I lost a friend to suicide. You don’t need to continue down this road, friend. A brighter future is waiting.
  
  - written 6 months ago – voted for by pleaserespond67, Pink Freud

• (2 votes) how can i become more confident?
  

  Experience = confidence. That is how us nervous types become more confident (speaking for myself really) Endure akward social situations and sooner or later (sooner if you risk more) you will become better at them.
  
  In my mind I have a filter that stops me saying stupid/embarasing things or things that may make people angry. It is normal that we develop this. However due to my difficult childhood my filter got over developed for fear of upsetting my father and I carried this into adult hood. This ment that by the time I had analazied the possible reaction to what I might say either the conversation had moved on or I could only think of something very bland to say. I had to tone down my filter and engage my mind with out thinking about what I was saying. Risky stuff and terrifying for me to do but I tried it and it helped. Now I think less about what I will say and try to be some what honest and worry less about the reprecussions (I can always appologize if I upset anyone) and it makes me more real as a person and more interested in others and more interesting to them.
  
  Some people have no filters at all and just verbalize what they think all the time, the extreme cases of this are rare but you probably will remember them as they will have talked at you, not to you and been loud and unpleasant. I would not ever want to swing to that extreme however I was to far the other way.
  
  Fear of what people think of me and fear of provoking an angry response was what motivated me to over filter things and generaly be fairly quiet. Until I tried somthing new it was always the same. It does have risks but it helped me grow as a person
  
  For example there was a girl I fancied. She was in a relationship and not avaliable. One day she came into work and had done something dramatic and new with her hair. I thought she looked fantastic and decided to tell her, I said ‘I love what you have done with your hair’ Her face lit up, it was amazing. I felt so free after that as my filter in my head was saying ’she will think you are coming on to her, she will think you are a stalker’ I never got anywhere with her but the comment was not ment to get me anywhere. I just wanted her to know what I thought.
  
  Another example some one came up to me to bum a ciggarette. I was tired of him asking but until then had never told him so I said no. He looked so hurt and I told him I was tired of giving him cigarettes and he was always scrounging off people. There were other people right there and there was this terrible silence. He tried to justify himself about trying to cut down and not wanting to buy them (he is well off by the way not poor) and once I had started I could not stop and told him he had been saying that for years and perhaps now was the time to stop. I hated the adrenalin and awkardness caused but at least I was being true to myself and not being pushed around. Again I felt free. (took a couple of days to calm down, I really do not do confrontation well!)
  
  All that said there are times when I am pleased I kept quiet. It is not always the right thing to do to go shooting off at the mouth. Not sure this will help, just sharing my experience
  
  - written 3 years, 3 months ago – voted for by shinseichieien, Kitten_Ciao

Last 5 Replies – All 1,435 replies »

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  A very honest post btw, well done :)
  - written 5 days, 6 hours ago

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  Glad the CODA thing has been pointed out, you will get a lot from going to meetings. I am much like you (I believe) and I call it people pleasing.
  
  Does not sound to bad but inside it eventually leaves me feeling desperate. Part of the problem I found was that I wanted to be nice, to be liked and not have confrontation with people because I thought that what being a good person was about. However the reality of it meant that I lacked character (a character chameleon in fact, changing who I was and what I believed depending on who I was talking to), I lacked a back bone, I could never stand up for myself, I would not realize I was angry with people and would internalize all my anger, squashing it down until eventually I would erupt over something really small.
  
  This went on for years, in my drinking days the booze helped me squash it all down effectively but when I sobered up then it started to make my life painful. There is a wonderful piece in the AA big book where it says ‘as Gods people we crawl before no one’ and I so wanted to be like that, I realized I had been crawling before people to afraid to take a principled stand.
  
  I did some CODA meetings but got a lot of my help from AA. The pain of living like this, when I am not justifying and rationalizing my position is a great motivator to try things differently. I now can confront people and although I still do not like to do it I can do it much more easily that before. I do have to be careful to keep some of my old attributes but in a slightly different format, with boundaries!
  
  Ah boundaries, now that is what so much of this comes down to, having those in place really makes life a lot easier. I would bet that the people you like the most are the ones who are very mindful of boundaries, it is certainly so for me. A lot of this comes down to my childhood but I have worked through a lot of the issues.
  
  Anyway as usual I am going on longer than anyone else, here is you want to talk :)
  - written 5 days, 6 hours ago

• I’m in a long distane relationship with my girlfriend but I like a girl where i am and I wanna ask her out.
  

  You should finish with her before you ask the other girl out. You need to end this relationship in it own wright before starting up with someone else, rather than hedging your bets and asking this girl out and depending on what she says depends on weather you dump your gf or not.
  - written 5 days, 7 hours ago

• I’m in a long distane relationship with my girlfriend but I like a girl where i am and I wanna ask her out.
  

  Finish it with you girlfriend, if you do not want to be with her she is better off knowing the truth no matter how much it may hurt her.
  
  If you do not then you open her up to more pain in the long run. I always found it hard to be honest but I now know it is the best way.
  - written 5 days, 7 hours ago

• Meeting my boyfriends son soon.
  

  Good for you, :)
  - written 6 days, 9 hours ago

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