noonelikesaknowitall's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

noonelikesaknowitall's Top (1) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) i really really need help!
  

  If you were married to this guy and had kids I would say work through it. As it is you both sound very young and as a bloke I know he has some growing up to do the sort that you can not help him with. There is a time to hold on a time to let go. If you were ment to be together then you will realize this and end up back together no matter what happens. True love is a powerfull force, all forgiving.
  
  He may not be very happy about the break up. No one likes rejection however it is kinder to be honest and if you aren’t willing to commit to him then you are just delaying the enevitable. Imagaine someone were writting what you wrote about him, about you. Wouldn’t you rather be put out your misery. I know he must be very unhappy in his heart (going by the little you said about his behaviour)He will probably try all sorts of things to prevent the split as it is not on his terms i.e. emotional blackmail, declaring his undying love for you, promising he will change and things will be different etc etc… This will be where you have to be as strong as you can (don’t expect to much of yourself, you will only be disapointed!) and stick to your guns and make the breakup stick. You may find you have not had enough yet or not ready to let go and take him back and good luck to you. Sometimes it is only through difficult times that we really find out how we feel.
  
  I do think though he needs to sort himself out!!!!!! Dont stick with him thinking you will make the difference.
  
  Also it is normal for the physical side of things to fade or not be so hot as they first were. That is when we find out if we are emotionaly compatible as well as physicaly!
  
  Good luck, learn your lessons well, be true to yourself and all will end up for the best. Something that is not easy to do in my experience but so worth it when I do it :)
  
  - written 2 weeks, 6 days ago – voted for by biggulp5

Last 5 Replies – All 38 replies »

• i want to be in a band and play guitar but im a girl
  

  I was in a band and neglected my education. I regret that now as I wish I had persued both. Mick Jagger (singer of the rolling stones) was at college studying accountancy up until the band signed their first big record deal. If you have the gift and the luck you will make it. If you are not very tallented and totally deluded about your talents (watch the x factor or equivellent) then you really would be better off making sure you do both. Even if you are talented you still may not make a living at it. You can do both it will be alot of fun :)
  - written 1 hour, 15 minutes ago

• Why is it that when you tell a man there
  

  why do women ask their men about their apperance when they aren’t prepared to believe what they say or get stroppy if they don’t like what they hear?
  - written 1 hour, 20 minutes ago

• What have I done?
  

  My ex came over today. She told me that she cheated on her current boyfriend. She was angry at him and he seemed to take no notice of her so she cheated. Its not relevant but is just shows me how messed up things get all the time.
  
  Don’t feel bad about the situation. You have as much to loose as anyone as you love this man. You will see his true colors over the next few months. It is by peoples actions that we know if what they say is true. If I said I loved you it would be meaingless as you have never seen my actions. Jealousy is an act of love. It comes from the emotion love. Acts of kindness come from love, forgivness comes from love. Jealousy needs to be controlled but like all emotions the intelect can only win out most of the time. The intellect just does not have the persistance nor power that emotions have. Your man put himself in this position. You are now resposible for the position you put yourself in as you see how he behaves over the next (lets say) six months. It is ok to believe we have fallen for someone and when things get tough realize that they were not the person we thought they were. Nor I the person I thought I was. He may supprise me and show you he really loves you.
  
  It is all up in the air and you have little power to control things so let it go. I am a messed up cookie as well! When my ex said she cheated on her boyfriend my first thought was a naughty one. I found myself saying ‘well if you split up and are feeling lonely you can always come over.’ Nothing good will come of it I am sure. It was an interesting thing for me though as I try to be as honest as I can and yet after I had said it I thought maybe I should have kept that to myself as I don’t know what I want from her and I really don’t want to hurt her nor myself it is just I have been feeling so horny lately and I have issues around expressing my desires. (she smiled and me and said nothing about it)
  
  As soon as you sent that email this was all going to come out. Let me know how you are feeling and how you get on if you like
  - written 1 hour, 36 minutes ago

• I think I’m depressed.
  

  A complex dilema, wanting to do something but then wanting to do nothing. I find when I want to do something and am doing nothing, the urge to do something eventually overtakes me and I do something, then I remember why I do nothing which is because doing something is so overated. So then I stay in and do nothing untill I forget how bad doing something is and my mind starts telling me my life would be better if I would only do something. And so the cycle goes on….
  
  One thing I have found is that perception is of far greater importance than I ever realized. The mind is where the world and universe are percieved and what we believe will affect how we feel. I had no idea how crazy my thinking was and how negative my out look was and how much just my perception was affecting my life.
  
  My ex was over today telling me how she has cheated on her latest boyfriend. Now my heart tells me that if I got back together with I would be happy. My mind tells me that it would fill the whole in my life I would be more sociable, look after myself better, get laid, not feel so lonely etc… My experience tells me that there is nothing worse than being in a relationship and being unhappy with yourself and not greater feeling of loneliness when I am in a relationship and feel alone. I split up with her in the first place because I could not handle the guilt of wanting to do nothing all the time when she wanted to do something all of the time and because I was depressed about work but that is a different story. So what do I do? Have I changed enough to get back together with her? (No) Do I even want to be with her? I just don’t know anymore! I guess not.
  
  I get so desperate sometimes thinking I am waisting my life away being patient, trying to take resposibility for myself, working through my issues. Now that is just a thought. I am moving forward and the pace can be set by me for some things and is out of my control for others. I have achieved soooo much this year and yet my mind chooses to draw me round to what I have failed to do all of the time. This is my perception doing me over.
  
  Reference ’somthing has to give’ that may well be true. It did with me. I had a nervous break down as my mind was going mad with worry about things I had no control over and I was not taking resposibility for the things that were my resposibility. Fortunatly for me I felt much better after I just choose to hand all the worry about the purpose of me and the universe over to God and started focusing on the immidiate issues. It took help though and not just from therapy. I belong to alcaholics annonomous and they really set my thinking straight. There may be a fellowship you can go to if you think you may have an eating disorder or relationship issues or something. Anyway if you want to talk more and get into specifics I would be happy to. Not saying I have all the answers nor will you nesceceriy want to hear what I have to say (not going to patronize you like a therapist!) but it is good sometimes to get another view on something.
  - written 1 hour, 56 minutes ago

• What Are you suppose to do when everyone wants you
  

  There are difficult things we have to do and we do not have to justify our actions to others. The more we justify ourselves the more we can be talked around. There is nothing more frustrating than making a descision to make a major change in your life only to find youself not carrying it through. It sounds to me like you have already made up your mind to leave and the only problem is how to tell him and minimise damage. There are somethings we have to say to people where there is no nice way to say it so being honest is the kindest thing to do. He can handle the truth (even though he may not want to). In some people it brings out the worst in their issues (he may feel abandonded or something similar) which can run to the core of their existance make them feel very frightened and want to lash out but that is not about you being mean or selfish in fact the opposite it is about him being mean and selfish.
  
  Do what you feel is right for you and your kids.
  - written 1 day, 22 hours ago

noonelikesaknowitall's conversations are tagged:

friends, depression, Love, Money, friendship, relationship, post, Parent, lost, start, guy, Boy, sleep, Sibling, Big, free, Family, question, suicide, advice, Stupidity, hand, Year, hate, Month