[PorkChop]'s profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• Ok I have a serious problem… posted (3 weeks, 6 days) ago
  My step-mum is the problem. I am the mother of a gorgeous 7 week old boy and natraully I take him ro…

• Geez things are hard. posted (1 month) ago
  Ok so 6 weeks ago I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy. I love him so much but Im finding it hard to …

• Every week counts… posted (5 months, 2 weeks) ago
  Hey everyone. Something bad happened to me over the weekend. Well on friday I started getting pains …

• Im scared… posted (6 months, 1 week) ago
  I havent felt the baby move tonight or very much today at all. Usually I feel it in the morning and …

• Am I the problem? posted (6 months, 2 weeks) ago
  Today I found out the sex of my baby [Boy yay! :)]. My mum said that if I wanted her too she would …

• Ive been really ill… posted (6 months, 3 weeks) ago
  I’ve been really sick these past couple of days with like a mild flu…. I hope the babies…

• Omg! posted (6 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Im really annoyed at the moment. My boyfriends mum has totally peeved me off because ever since we …

• All Claimed Posts »

[PorkChop]'s Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) I’m pregnant, at 16 years old.
  

  [quote Anonymous]The world is full of teenage girls who think they know it all, who believe that their “boyfriend” is some kind of mythological hero, and who think that using birth control is “unromantic” and ruins the “spontaneity” of sex. Then these girls end up pregnant, and lo and behold, their “amazing” boyfriends completely chicken out and head for the exit. These girls will then either have an abortion, or have the kid and expect her parents to take care of it. You have just shamed your family, and I hope you know it. If I were your father, your “wonderful” boyfriend would be marching up to the altar with you, or he would be undergoing a certain surgical procedure–involuntarily. I always insist on meeting the boy on my daughter’s first date, and I look him in the eye and tell him that I expect him to treat her with respect. I usually introduce myself as the “president of the Castration Society for Wayward Boys.” They get the picture really fast. And my daughter doesn’t get pressured by some jerk for sex.[/quote]
  
  OMG YOU JERK!
  “Shamed” her family
  Is mine shamed as well?! Well guess what Im the “wonderful” Girlfriend who thought it was unromantic or whatever
  So dont you dare condem all of male kind you evil person
  You are just the sort of synical Jerk I HATE
  Your the one who should be ashamed of yourself forcing people into marrige just because its what YOU want! And what YOU think is best its not about the parents Not all teenage girls who have babies young expect theyre parents to look after it most of them leave home
  Eugh you made me so angry! Your a HORRIBLE person!
  
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago – voted for by ma3m3

• (1 vote) So I don’t want to have my first kiss until my wedding day.
  

  I think its incredibly sweet! And thoughtful, I wish you and you fiancee all the best!
  
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago – voted for by burgergurl12

• (1 vote) *attension; “this post is closed, your kind replies for this post are no longer needed, thank you!
  

  Its awesome!
  
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago – voted for by dertenbee

• (1 vote) There’s this girl at my school.
  

  Well
  Tell her how you feel but before hand make it clear that you dont want to freak her out or put her in an akward position
  Tell her and then it will be her choice
  At least then you will know where you stand
  xxx
  
  - written 1 year, 8 months ago – voted for by Crazycam10

• (1 vote) so my boyfriend b4 he got with me was the other boy…he
  

  No…
  I asked him if he HAD to choose
  I wouldnt really make him
  Thats just harsh
  
  - written 1 year, 9 months ago – voted for by panda

Last 5 Replies – All 890 replies »

• Ok I have a serious problem…
  

  [quote courtybubble]hmm. well, firstly, your stepmum seems like a complete nutter, and i wouldnt let her anywhere near the kid.
  
  it IS just sort of a fact that people go completely nuts over new babies, and want to hold and touch them.they are a novelty. i myself always go gooey over a new baby.
  it is good for the baby to get used to other people, but it should be done on your terms. what YOU feel comfortable with. at 7 weeks of age, all the baby cares about is food, crapping, and sleeping. hes not going to be eternally damaged whether he is passed around to many people, or if he isnt either.
  youre doing really well to even be taking him out places at this age.
  
  I used to be a nanny for a very young child, whose mum was my next door neighbour. she knew that obviously a lot of my friends would be keen to meet the lil man, but if i wanted my friends to meet and hold him, then they came to me, at his house, with his mum there. its a lot easier to stay in control of the situation when youre in your own home, and can whisk him off for something as an excuse if you dont feel comfortable.
  i would suggest asking them to come to you for a while, rather than going to visit them. this will help you stay in control, and also avoid the random strangers turning up at the door and asking for a hold. they should be making the effort anyways, youve just given birth for goodness sakes, the least they could do is come round to you for a visit.
  
  i think the important thing to remember is that this is YOUR child. there is no fast and hard set of rules for raising a baby, and everyone has different ideas on what is right. what is right for you, is what you feel is right. dont ever feel unworthy or a bad mother for protecting your baby. if it doesnt feel right, then have the confidence to stand up for your child and yourself like you did with your stepmum.
  
  there is a fine line between being really way too over protective, and just being a new mum who is concerned about their babies safety, but i really dont think youre wavering around that line right now, youre doing a grand job as a young mum!
  
  i know one of your other posts was about how you were feeling you couldnt cope that well, how is that all going now?[/quote]
  
  Its alot better thanks. Hes alot happier now and were enjoying eachother much more! =]. I really appreciate everything you said. I know that people want to hold him and I dont mind most of the time its just people who I dont know and now people who pretend hes theirs who give me an unsettling feeling. Everything you said really helps and makes me feel better and more normal. =] x
  - written 2 weeks, 4 days ago

• Ok I have a serious problem…
  

  [quote Dr. Ralph]Trust me your step mom’s friends know she was not preggers… get a grip. You are using your child as a way to get back at those who showed no interest in you previously. I think you should be worried more about the child’s best interests instead of your own. Don’t make it a stranger to everyone. When your children grow up there is nothing like having a bunch of friends who can help them through life because they watched and helped them as children. They have a bond and will do amazing things I know I have raised 5 children and have three grandchildren. Friends are the best thing your child can have, don’t hide him from the world.[/quote]
  
  And thats got what to do with my step mum pretending he was her son?? She didnt know the person otherwise she wouldnt be stupid enough to do it. Look you make it sound like Im like oh no one else will ever know him only me and my fiancee there are plenty of people who see him and grow up with him. I dont care they didnt want to know tbh i didnt want to know them I cant put up with there fakeness. My dad and fiancee was pretty unimpressed by her little stunt. So whys everyone making out its just me? Im not over reacting everyone else Ive told basically have been shocked at how disrespectful she is and how nutty it was of her to pretend it was her baby. Sorry for feeling a little uncomfortable about some woman who can no longer have children staring at my son like a hungry fox.
  - written 3 weeks, 6 days ago

• Ok I have a serious problem…
  

  [quote Florie][quote The Clue]I still think your over reacting. Your mother in law was just kidding and did not say that behind you back, you where there at all times so nothing was going to happen. No one is going to intentionally hurt your child and you need to accept that fact. All this is going to do is cause a problem with your family. You need to accept that they will protect and care for the child just as you would and they have more experience doing that than you do. Hope this helps :-)[/quote]
  
  “Hope this helps” has always struck me as very passive aggressive. I could be wrong …
  
  She doesn’t “need” to accept any of this stuff you’re telling her to accept. She can decide what she feels is right.[/quote]
  
  I like yoou
  lol
  - written 3 weeks, 6 days ago

• Ok I have a serious problem…
  

  [quote The Clue]I still think your over reacting. Your mother in law was just kidding and did not say that behind you back, you where there at all times so nothing was going to happen. No one is going to intentionally hurt your child and you need to accept that fact. All this is going to do is cause a problem with your family. You need to accept that they will protect and care for the child just as you would and they have more experience doing that than you do. Hope this helps :-)[/quote]
  
  Its my step-mum btw and now your the worst helper Ive ever encountered did you not read my reply a couple of posts up telling you what actually happened play by play. She was most definatly not kidding and that would be the worst joke ever. I know Im not over reacting because at my parent groups there are people that feel like this even worse. I will not accept these people doing this because they have no interest in me. They think they can take over. They cant. She has no right to be anywhere near my baby I hardly know her she never bothered with me until I had the baby so what? Im just suppose to accept her fakeness just so she can get to the baby no! And btw this is what happened if you still think she was kidding after this then you are truly crazy:
  
  A woman knocked on the door and my step mum answered holding my baby and the woman at the door said:
  “Oh youve had a baby” My step mum said “Yeh” And laughed then went on to say “Oh when I first had him he was a nightmare at night. I had to change his milk because he was so sick after feeds.” Me, my dad and my fiancee were all staring at her in disbelief. She started saying “Oh yeh I called him Remy because we spend alot of time in france and Remys a french name. He had alot of hair when he was born but it seems to have fallen out a bit now.” Then the woman said “How old is he” And then she went “Oh 11 weeks” I got up and said “Actually hes 7 weeks” The woman looked at me and said “Oh its your baby” I said “Yes” And she said to my step mum “Why did you say it was your baby then” And my step mum shut the door in her face! I mean is that not a little wierd?
  Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators
  [quote Florie]Well, it might not have been quite as serious as you are thinking - about this woman. But, I do agree that your baby belongs to you, and you have no obligation to pass him around unless you feel completely comfortable about it.[/quote] I can assure you its serious this is what happened: A woman knocked on the door and my step mum answered holding my baby and the woman at the door said: “Oh youve had a baby” My step mum said “Yeh” And laughed then went on to say “Oh when I first had him he was a nightmare at night. I had to change his milk because he was so sick after feeds.” Me, my dad and my fiancee were all staring at her in disbelief. She started saying “Oh yeh I called him Remy because we spend alot of time in france and Remys a french name. He had alot of hair when he was born but it seems to have fallen out a bit now.” Then the woman said “How old is he” And then she went “Oh 11 weeks” I got up and said “Actually hes 7 weeks” The woman looked at me and said “Oh its your baby” I said “Yes” And she said to my step mum “Why did you say it was your baby then” And my step mum shut the door in her face! I mean is that not a little wierd?
  - written 3 weeks, 6 days ago

• Ok I have a serious problem…
  

  [quote The Clue]You child needs to become accustomed to different people because you and your boyfriend will have to get jobs soon to raise that child. Family members will do that and you have to accept it as it is. He is a new part of the family and will be until they pass on. Get used to it. Daycare is not far away. Hope this helps :-)[/quote]
  
  No it didnt help at all. I know a girl who doesnt let ANYONE hold her baby. Im not like that Im not being irrational. I dont like strangers holding him. I wouldnt walk up to someone in the street and say here hold my baby so how is this any different. I definatly dont want my stepmum holding him ever again. I wish I never mentioned the holding thing because people are ignoring the issue of her pretending its her child… I have family members I trust with him. And all of those are people that have always been there. these people didnt want to know until he was born. My fiancee has a job. I dont plan to get one anytime soon. I dont like the idea of daycare My mum works at a nursery and I know what really goes on.
  - written 3 weeks, 6 days ago

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