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• Trapped. posted (2 months) ago
  I hate my life. And myself. I have no friends. I used to have never had a girlfriend, but now I hav…

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• Trapped.
  

  Thank you for your kind reply.
  
  It was kind of hit and miss, for instance I’m not American, so money is not an issue regarding my sisters condition. My parents update me about the details of their problems. Excruciating details.
  
  But some parts resonate.
  
  “Take some time to figure out what it is you value and work towards it.”
  
  I thought long and hard about this and realized that I have no goals, no amibition. You’re absolutely right. I must find a goal. Something to dedicate myself to. Something bigger than myself.
  
  Thanks again.
  - written 1 month, 3 weeks ago

• Do we have freewill?
  

  Short anwser: Probably not.
  Long answer: Read below!
  
  Hmm.., This is going to take some time….
  
  First question. Is the human psyche seperated from the physical universe?
  
  This concept is sometimes known as “Cartesian Dualism”. A soul that is independent of our bodies, will survive them and is not explainable by or governed by the laws of physics.
  
  By positing an object the properties of which are established by dogma, and that cannot be studied in any way or fashion, we have firmly moved into the realm of religion.
  
  I’ll make this part short… In the Christian religion it is stated that humans where created with a free will. However, it’s also stated that God exists outside time and has knowledge of all that was, is, and ever will be. If God know in advance what you are going to do, how can you have a free will?
  
  Since I personally am anti-theistic, lets move on to physics, and to what I personally believe must be true.
  
  Your mind is a product of your brain. There’s nothing magical about it, it’s just an (amazing!) product of a few billion brain cells working together, connected just so. Your mind is a mechanism. Just plain simple atoms bumping against each other… Inside a gloriously complex stucture!
  
  Good old Newton created a theory of not-quite-everything. In his theory, atoms acted much like billiard balls. Totally predictable. If ball/atom A hits B at such-and-such an angle B will move thataway. If this is the basis of our brains… Then of course we have no free will.
  
  The came quantum mechanics. Extremely accurate, and should be close to the truth. In quantum mechanics… How can I even explain it? With quantum mechanics things are… Blurred. Every thing that could happen, does happen. Red light at the stop sign? Run across, Go left. Go right. You will do all three things at the same time. In fact, anything that can happen, does happen, all the time.
  
  *However* this is never what we observe, The “blurred” state where everyting possible is mixed collapses into one actual thing. Selected completely at random from the possiblilities. Did you, in the end walk left, or right? It was decided by random chance. No free will.
  
  One final brain-teaser, and what I think is really the root of the problem with “free will”:
  Let’s imagine you have an important decision you must make today. Yes or no.
  It might seem that you have options, but…
  
  How many ways can you answer?
  You might answer “two” but…
  In the end you will give only one answer. You will have answered one way. You can only answer one way.
  - written 2 months ago

• Trapped.
  

  Thanks. Helped more than a little. Again and with utter sincerity: You are a good person.
  - written 2 months ago

• guy that loves me v’s guy that prob hates me,
  

  You seemed to say you love your ex? *TALK* talk, talk, talk!!
  - written 2 months ago

• Trapped.
  

  Thank you for your kind response. It helped, a little. You are a good person.
  
  I have hobbies. Flowers. Recreational computer programming. Classical piano. It’s just that lately, I have been so severly depressed that the things I used to love give me no joy. Nor even comfort. I sit at the piano hour after hour. Beethoven. Händel, Korsakov, you name it. Beatiful, beautiful music. And yet I feel no better. it’s just that while I’m playing, I’m not thinking.
  
  Hmm… Now that I think about it, my piano technique is quite a bit better than two months ago. A small good thing :-/
  
  I have the hardest time making new friends. Always did. I’m simply not social. I *can’t* blather on endelssly about nothing, which seems to be what it takes. When I talk to people, it is to give them information. If I’ve said what I had to say, well then, I can’t think of anything more! People seem to find this incredibly annoying. Really bad social skills… and a deep depression. Do you think I’ll make any friends?
  
  “Fun”.
  I can’t remember what it feels like. I can’t be magically summoned either.
  - written 2 months ago

johan.frsber's conversations are tagged:

life, depression, Sorrow