2013-11-16 23:10:46 on I was at Wal-mart the other day.
[quote mindhealer]We always tried to get very meaningful gifts for each other when I was growing up, and it was almost an insult if anyone just gave money/giftcards, so on one level I might have a very similar reaction. But if you think about it, you don’t really know what their position is. Just like when people ask for help on this site — we can make guesses, and some things sound weird, but I have to assume that if someone is asking for something, then they might really need that something. Sorry this is so abstract.[/quote]
That makes perfect sense. I definitely hate to buy gifts that aren’t useful. So maybe a gift card is most useful of all. Thanks :)
2013-11-16 20:02:20 on I don’t have anything…I don’t have anybody.
I’m sorry your feeling so down. You could have it worst and it could be better. I don’t have anyone right now either. You have to make relationships happen with people you can’t just expect everyone to come to you. Start inviting people to hang out with you.
2013-11-16 19:45:55 on I was at Wal-mart the other day.
That’s a funny story.She obviously didn’t use the pot if she didn’t find the spoon until months later.
Christmas can be stressful even if you’re buying for family because you don’t know if they *really* like it and anyone who has any manner at all will squeal with delight….even if they hate what they’ve unwrapped lol
It’s just that much more difficult to buy for someone you’ve never met and never seen. God bless your heart.[/quote]
I’m beginning to understand. I should feel bad that I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, running water and electricity and I’m worried about what someone will do if I get them a gift card or I’m already expecting they will not use the money for the child. I guess this has to do with my lack of faith in people, but I think that I should quit thinking the negative always towards people I don’t know. I feel that you and mind healer really helped me realize that I shouldn’t assume people are in the same position as me or like they have it great and even if they do it might even mean more to them than if I got them shoes or toys because the child may be able to go to the store for the first time and pick out something they really want. There’s a lot to charity, I feel like such a scrooge. I’m very tight with my money even with my own family, lol. I guess I need to stop being that way. Thanks for your thoughts, it’s always nice to get outside perspective when you are having difficulty understanding something. You have a blessed day. :)
2013-11-16 17:23:56 on This is something that has been a family problem for quite some time.
[quote BIG AL ONE][quote CallingAllAngels]I thank you for helping me* AL :) I really felt like this is something I need to speak up about because usually it’s better if you let others know your afflictions. Mourn out loud I guess. I’m sure she will be in a mental institute tonight and this isn’t the first time. She has been fine for so many years. I was actually thinking about how much she has changed just recently.[/quote]
You’re welcome for the help (as little as it was). There’s nothing I can really do except send up a prayer (which BTW, I’ve already done), for your mom, especially for your dad and certainly for you & sister for strength.
My mom was dyslexic and had great difficulty reading in her life. Long after her passing, I was reading the Bible and came across - “if thy eye be single, thy body shall be full of light -” and it dawned on me that. . .maybe mom should have read with one eye closed. I pass this wisdom forward to dyslexic people who tell me there has been no ‘gimmick’ which has gave them greater reading advantage.
I laugh and tell them the bill is in the mail:P
Keep strong and try to visit mom as much as possible during this time of rapid change because people such as her sometime meet with a Holy clarity before the Roll calls them on high.
Go with God.[/quote]
That’s all I could ask for really, prayers mean a lot to me and almost all I really wanted from the post. That’s a good story. Rest in Peace to your Mom. She wasn’t doing much better on the last update actually she was doing worst, but I have faith that it’s all happening so God can give her a miracle. She said she had forgiven someone. I honestly feel like she’s going back to childhood to remember or forget what happened to her before. I think she will be okay when this passes. I’m praying for that at least.
2013-11-16 15:45:45 on I was at Wal-mart the other day.
[quote michele_lee_perry]You could give a gift card along with some toys. It sounds very cynical to assume they want to cash in the cards. They may want them for groceries or any other necessity. As a single working mom with six children, I have been the recipient of angel tree gifts for my babies.
It is the (lovely) thought that counts but I promise you that it’s a rare thing that people buy what the child (or the child’s parent) actually asks for. Or it’s the wrong size. They usually buy what they want that child to have…..which goes to waste because it isn’t what was asked for. Why buy a bunch of books for someone who didn’t ask for books? Or fingernail polish when a toy car was asked for? I’m not exaggerating. Mom always gets potholders and cheap makeup or lotion, even though all she asked for was one frying pan lol[/quote]
I get what your saying the first year I picked up an Angel tree ornament and I didn’t really look for what I would have to buy I just picked one up and I noticed they asked for clothes, but didn’t put the size. They did put the shoe size, so I decided to get the shoes and a toy because all they asked for was shoes and clothes. Well the shoes I bought were like 30.00 at wal-mart and I thought they probably could of got something more useful else where or better quality for cheaper, this was many years ago so cost was a little cheaper then. I kinda felt bad about the gift because I couldn’t get them the clothes they asked for. I wish that I would of thought to get a gift card in that case, but gift cards weren’t something that were on my mind then. Funny you mention that my Mom asked for a slotted spoon last christmas and we got her a canning pot so she could can her tomatoes we put the slotted serving spoon in the canning pot. She never used the canning pot and had needed money so I told her to go take it back to walmart and get the cash. Anyhow she called me and said she had found the spoon and this was like months after Christmas, lol. I told my husband because it was his idea to stick it in the pot.
2013-11-16 13:53:31 on Im so unhappy atm.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Anyhow this is from Corinthians 13. It is pretty much the definition of love to me. I look at it as truth because I believe it, but I know believing in it has made marriage way better than it was, it has helped with my jealousy and trust issues. I use to sound like you and this verse helped me change me to help my marriage. You can never change another person. You can change your thoughts towards any given situation. I think this says it all and I think if everyone kept this verse close to there hearts marriage would be more lasting.
If you do however feel like he’s cheating you have to have a reason for thinking so. If it’s just a hunch then you are dishonoring your husbands character and you are not trusting in him. Start to do things like trust him, listen to truths and you will see a change because you will see what love is all about.
If you don’t believe disregard, but I felt I should share. I hope all goes well for your marriage.
2013-11-16 13:32:52 on I was just recently given a Kenmore sewing machine model # 1341.
usually I look for a youtube video explaining what I need to know, most sewing machines work the same way, if you can’t find a youtube video on kenmore sewing machine maybe look for one that looks similar in model.
2013-11-16 13:29:58 on Im so unhappy atm.
I will say that first your thinking is what’s wrong. It could leak into the marriage. You say you don’t know if he’s cheating or if he loves you anymore. That right there shows me that you are thinking how I use to. You are automatically assuming that the problems you are having in your marriage are his fault. Most of the time it is a lack of showing ones love on both sides. Also you assume he’s cheating because why? There has to be a reason. If you could explain. I like to suggest something, but I would have to know if you believe in God or not and then I could proceed. But it has definitely helped me know what true love is. Also how I was not showing it so that is why I didn’t see it in my marriage.
2013-11-16 13:14:23 on Can someone listen here I have a big story to tell
I will read your story as well, if you are willing to share.
2013-11-16 12:39:19 on I was at Wal-mart the other day.
I see what your saying, but when I want to give a gift it’s for the child who normally wouldn’t be able to get gifts because the parents are trying to survive. Maybe you are right maybe it’s true charity to give even though it’s not going for what I intended. I’m learning about charity in my Bible studies right now so maybe this is a lesson of some kind. That’s why I asked for others opinions because my thought is so one sided on the matter, thanks for you thoughts.
I feel bad for even wanting to give him an ultimatum because he is the love of my life. I have waited 8 months now for him to come home. The funny thing is besides him not spending quality time with the family his addiction does not affect us that much. I think it affects him more. He uses it to get to sleep because he has been deployed many times and sees flashbacks of the bad that happened. He goes to work at 6:00 in the morning for PT which is mandatory working out then he comes back home for breakfast and a shower and is off to work until 6:00pm sometimes 7:00pm. He still manages to clean the house and cook for us, but none of that equals into spending quality time together. He’s a great man, he’s deployed right now so he can’t have alcohol, but what does any soldier want when they return home? Celebrating with booze. I know with my addiction I tried to control my intake and that never worked, because I was addicted. I would actually use more when I tried to control how much I took because it would leave me feeling like I didn’t get enough which would make me fall to using more. I know you can figure this out. I used for about 2 years and it took me longer than two years to get over the stuff and feel normal again. It affects your brain the most so take that into account. I’m not sure what sedatives are, but I would look up the effects and take them serious. Also AA meetings helped me learn a few things to help me get past addiction so that may be something you want to try, but usually they want you sober when you go so try not to use before you get there if you decide to go.
[quote deadboy9.][quote CallingAllAngels]You are addicted. Physical dependence is addiction. You are physically addicted to them. My boyfriend knew I was taking pain killers when we first met and I knew I was addicted, but couldn’t stop because of the withdrawals. He told me he would leave if I didn’t. I chose him. So yes this is your choice, if you choose the sedatives over your boyfriend, really that’s your lost not his. He could do better than having someone who needs sedatives to live. You should get help and stop. You deserve better for yourself. No one with an addiction can live a good life. They will put their addiction before anything else, so imagine what a crap relationship that would be to have someone pick a little ole pill over you. Healthy relationships and real love are not selfish and they pick the other person first.[/quote]
Personally I believe that there is a difference between dependence and addiction. I can see where are you coming from, but I think he’s being selfish too, by trying to stop me from what I like doing.[/quote]
My husband(when he was here) drank liquor and beer every night. He says he’s not addicted. Really how do I help someone see it is addiction, when you need it mentally, physically, and they are having that feeling that you want to do it because it makes you feel good? Do you even know what addiction is? I didn’t think I was addicted to pain killers until I tried to stop, that’s when you will see if this is addiction or not. You try to stop and see. I feel sorry for you, it was a long road to recovery for me, and if I hadn’t wanted to quit already then I probably would of chose the drug as well. I know it was something I was praying for at the time because it was really making me sick and I lived further away from the supplier so it was harder for me to get the pills and then when I couldn’t get them I couldn’t function. I was not a functioning member of society, I had a job, but always had severe panic attacks caused by pill abuse. I know you have to do it when you are ready. I lost almost everything because of the drugs and then I sold the title to my car for a 500 dollars and was about to lose my car because I couldn’t pay it back because I would rather buy pills with the money I had. Not to mention the stupid and evil things I did to get the pill. At the end I’m pretty sure that I had no conscience. I really had a hard time adjusting because I had no moral compass anymore, I was broken by drug abuse and the kicker I have said before “I’m not addicted, I can quit anytime, I just like the way it makes me feel and how I can do anything I want and not have a care in the world.” I wish that I would of realized I was addicted sooner. Wasted years if you ask me. Anyhow I told myself I would never have to deal with addiction ever again, I have even had to quit a few jobs so I wouldn’t be tempted because people had them at work. Now I hope my husband comes home and doesn’t start drinking. I’m thinking about being selfish and giving him an ultimatum. Me or the booze? I don’t believe I’m that selfish however I choose to live addiction free so why in the world should I stay with someone that is not? I have been trying to show him love, that’s why, but does that mean I should live with his choices and be miserable for the rest of my life? Maybe it is selfish, but I have a son to think about too. Maybe we are both selfish, but one person is choosing to continue to step forward and better their life and the other is hell bent on not even living life. It sucks when he starts to drink at 6 o’clock. You know what that means? I will not have my husband with me that whole night. Then he goes to sleep and goes to work and comes home to start drinking all over again. I feel a lone a lot when that happens. He has been forced to quit drinking, but I’m scared when he comes home he’s going to drink, in fact he asked me to buy him some beer. A request I can’t refuse, because I love him and I want to do what makes him happy, but I am really contemplating on giving him an ultimatum. I don’t want to be the cause of him going back to drinking. I don’t want to enable him. I really hope you are not addicted though, because it really does suck trying to get sober when you are.
You are addicted. Physical dependence is addiction. You are physically addicted to them. My boyfriend knew I was taking pain killers when we first met and I knew I was addicted, but couldn’t stop because of the withdrawals. He told me he would leave if I didn’t. I chose him. So yes this is your choice, if you choose the sedatives over your boyfriend, really that’s your lost not his. He could do better than having someone who needs sedatives to live. You should get help and stop. You deserve better for yourself. No one with an addiction can live a good life. They will put their addiction before anything else, so imagine what a crap relationship that would be to have someone pick a little ole pill over you. Healthy relationships and real love are not selfish and they pick the other person first.
2013-11-13 18:34:51 on This is something that has been a family problem for quite some time.
[quote Pepper Jelly]I remember in church the other day, the pastor talked about Christians having a sound mind; and not to fear…I Timothy. Hold onto that truth. Pray for a sound mind for her. I also know that when someone is tormented by evil, prayer can make the difference. Pray for her, faithfully, without wavering, and have faith that God will answer the prayer.[/quote]
I mentioned to her she shouldn’t fear if the car down the road is spying on her because that’s man, she shouldn’t fear man because God is more powerful. Thanks for those words, I should read that to her. Thanks I will continue to pray.
2013-11-13 17:30:12 on This is something that has been a family problem for quite some time.
I thank you for helping me* AL :) I really felt like this is something I need to speak up about because usually it’s better if you let others know your afflictions. Mourn out loud I guess. I’m sure she will be in a mental institute tonight and this isn’t the first time. She has been fine for so many years. I was actually thinking about how much she has changed just recently.