Thanks Max for the support. I’m terrified of what I will find when I start to look inside myself. But I will do it. This website was the best response to a google on abusive husband. Talking about it is a start. There’s a pastor near here that I can talk to, eventhough I’m not a member of his church. - written 3 years, 5 months ago
Max,I think my self-defense mechanism is selfishness, wanting to be right, to be heard. I am not condoning this….
Evansent, I really don’t know. I wasn’t like this in my few past relationships, but I was never so passionate, open or honest with my feelings in those relationships either. I stopped drinking because I was too arguementative with her - but not always or often physically abusive - written 3 years, 5 months ago
I’m in California. For the second step, I tell myself and my wife this every time but I don’t recognise myself when this happens. I am disgusted by myself. I don’t come from an abusive background - written 3 years, 5 months ago
So much of it could be because of the marriage. A lot of marriages don’t last when the couple have lived together for a long time before. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5067a_qa.html Look at Letter #3 on this web blog.
Another thing might be to recognise that you helped her through so much, but now she sees your relationship (but not necessarily you) as a reminder of her pain and recovery. In this case, you might have to accept that you saved her life, made her and yourself happy for 7 years, but now she has changed and moved on. Good luck… - written 3 years, 5 months ago
[quote 2008butc]there is no excuse. you do it because you know you can, would you be so keen if she was mike tyson,s wife, uhmmmm no, then you dont need help, your a bully[/quote]
I am asking for help, because I want to change. I don’t recognise the person that I become. And using Mike Tyson is a uhmmmm, bad example. I pushed my wife, not bit her ear off - written 3 years, 5 months ago