Halo 0=)'s profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• I finally made up my mind, I definitely want to go to graduate school…..but how do I know which program is for me? posted (2 days, 18 hours) ago
  I’m a double major in Sociology and Criminal Justice with a minor in Spanish. I want to becom…

• CAR HELP posted (1 week, 4 days) ago
  I am planning to give my car a make over. I want to give it a paint job, new rims, tinted windows, …

• How do you learn to live independently? posted (3 weeks, 5 days) ago
  I don’t mean to live on your own I mean how do you learn to live your life based around yours…

• My sister has these red blotches on her arm and all over her body but they’re not itchy, what can they be? posted (1 month) ago
  they do feel rather warm and look a lot like a rash but there are no bumps and there is no itch. .…

• I meed to learn the dewey decimal system and squeeze in a few hours of sleep before an interview I have tomorrow HELP! posted (1 month, 2 weeks) ago
  !!! I’m freaking out I didn’t realize what the dewey decimal system was until now. Does…

• If you join an honor society at your university, what do you do in there? posted (1 month, 2 weeks) ago
  Is it simply like being in honor role or are there events you have to attend?…

• Okay well In-n-Out is holding open interviews today and tomorrow and I want to go, but there’s a slight problem…. posted (2 months) ago
  I wasn’t able to make it today because I had class, and tomorrow I can make it but only after…

• All Claimed Posts »

Halo 0=)'s Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) What is the difference between being dependent on someone and being able to depend on someone?
  

  I want to say that when you’re dependent on someone you rely mostly on them and it is difficult to function without them and their support. If you depend on someone you can count on them to be there when you need them, but you can live and function well without them for the majority of them time.
  
  - written 1 week, 1 day ago – voted for by Vacation from Stress

• (1 vote) Break up issues…HELP!
  

  I remember your original post explaining the whole situation. I still do not think it was your fault. Any girl would have got jealous, and it did seem like he had listened to whatever that girl had told him. It does seem weird to me though that he had broken up with you over that and still just wants to be friends. By him doing that it does seem like there is more to his decision than he is letting you know. Now we don’t have to get over our heads and think the worse. Sure, he could have got with the other girl or someone else. But he could have also been bothered that so many people were involved in a situation where it should have been an intimate conflict and resolved by yourselves. Even if that were the case, he may have been feeling uneasy about the relationship and you didn’t notice. Looking back at your relationship right before all of this happened did he distance himself at all? Or act differently? I just find it weird that he’d give everything up like that. And let me just let you know that you feeling what you’re feeling is completely normal. I know how it feels to have everything fine one minute and it just go downhill in a heartbeat.
  
  Some advise: 1) Stop questioning what could have happened. What happened happened. Do not dwell on the past because it will not let you reach your future. You can reflect but try to see the lessons. This is extremely hard to do I know because when you reflect you’re thinking of memories and the memories make you miss him. To be honest, I don’t know how to make this easy, but I do ask you to try to grasp what you are supposed to learn out of this.
  
  2) Make a choice: try to get him back, or decide there is no more you can do or are willing to do and move on. Another hard part. I really want to share this quote with you from Marilyn Monroe:
  
  “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
  
  When you think about it, what she is saying is very true. But when you’re heartbroken, it’s difficult to take this as a reality. He was with you during difficult times, but maybe he was only meant to be there for that, so you were able to get through the tough times and come out okay. But now his job is done and it’s time for you to either move on to someone who will inspire you to do many things and show you a different side to life or maybe it’s a time on your life where you’re meant to grow in your independence. I know you are a mature girl, but there is always life lessons to learn when dealing with independence. Now, you could try to go back to him. Think about some things though. Do you truly believe it was your fault? (Think about think sensibly, not with your broken heart) If you don’t think it was your fault, then if you guys were to get back together would you trust him? Has he changed at all before you guys broke up and after? I mean, does he seem like he’s being a lot friendlier with other girls? That could be a red flag. Do not think about how things could have been, as I said earlier. But right now when trying to decide what you honestly want, think about how things would be if you got back together. This incident you guys went through isn’t something that’s just going to disappear. It’s something you both will remember. How will it affect how the relationship works and how you treat each other?
  
  - written 1 month, 2 weeks ago – voted for by analisa77

• (1 vote) Is he scared?
  

  It sounds like he’s confused and scared? He probably has all of these strong feelings for you and honestly wants to be in the relationship but is 1) scared to mess things up/ things to go wrong (or get hurt) and/or 2) confused because he wants to do these things with you and move the relationship on at a normal pace but that would go against his theory of taking it slow. I think it’s really weird that he said that you guys are too different if you saw the connection. I think he’s thinking too much into it though. Overall, he sounds afraid of commitment because he doesn’t want to get hurt again. If I were you, and if you have a way of still talking to him, let him know how you feel. Reassure him that you’re not trying to hurt him and be his best friend.
  
  - written 2 months, 2 weeks ago – voted for by swayenea

• (1 vote) My boyfriend and i are ‘taking a break’.
  

  Give him time, but also make it known that you’re not there to judge him and he can be completely open with you. The only way to make the relationship stronger is to be able to let each other know the weaknesses of the relationship.
  
  - written 5 months, 1 week ago – voted for by John Henry

• (1 vote) Hey everyone.I have been with this girl for now 7 months and since day one i knew i was going to love this girl for the rest of my life.
  

  Here are my thoughts. . .
  What she was doing with going back and forth with her feelings isn’t right. What she did about promising to feel everything you felt about her was terribly wrong, especially after she basically took it all back. After reading all of that I was ready to tell you she isn’t worth it. It almost seemed like she was using your love as a rebound as she blindly waited for Billy to come back to her. In my opinion, she shouldn’t be in contact with any of her ex’s.
  
  What took me back though was the fact that she now is sturdy and affectionate about the relationship now. The thing is I’m not sure for how long she’s been like that. Sometimes people need something big to happen in order for them to change. It could have been that she has finally been slapped in the face with what she’s losing (which would be you), and realized that nothing is worth losing you.
  
  See how long she keeps this up for. If I were you though I would still keep a guard up for a while. Just because you have allowed the relationship to go on doesn’t mean that you’re fully at peace with what has happened. If she seems loyal and is treating you with all the love she has, then enjoy the love there is between you guys. If she starts again with having feelings for someone else again or any form of cheating on you, end it. I think she has played with you too much already to be able to mess up AGAIN. I have felt that strong love, and am still feeling that strong love that you feel for her for my boyfriend. I know what it feels like to beg them back if in times when you shouldn’t. What I have learned though is that you need to set boundaries for yourself. You need to go through in your head of what you’re not willing to deal with, for example cheating (by your definition) or certain behaviors. If she commits whatever you think of, you have to let her go. There will be someone who will give you what she didn’t.
  
  P.S. You had and have every reason to be paranoid after all of those events. If the paranoia comes back though and it’s taking away from the joy and love in the relationship, then that is another sign that it may be time to move on.
  
  I really hoped this helped.
  
  - written 5 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by mcwilliams_tyle

Last 5 Replies – All 338 replies »

• Today my boyfriend and I were together and I said something that made him really angry and he told me to leave his house but I didn’t.
  

  Honestly….
  
  you should have respected him and left when he told you to leave…but…
  
  him saying he’s not afraid to push you into the wall isn’t a good sign at all, and this is coming from someone who was in an abusive relationship before. Things start off like that and they only get worse
  - written 1 day, 16 hours ago

• Family question– Mother getting drunk?
  

  It could be. Getting drunk probably eases whatever pain she is feeling. If she has attempted to commit suicide, I do not suggest cutting her off. That doesn’t mean don’t do anything. I think the proper thing to do is sit her down when she is calm and tell her that her getting that drunk is not acceptable. And if she tells you that its not your right to tell her what she can or cannot do, then tell her it is not acceptable to do that in your apartment or around you. Then make sure she is getting the medical help that she needs, so it doesn’t become a problem for her.
  - written 1 day, 17 hours ago

• So 49yr swm Just laid off what to do?
  

  Because they can gain experience in a field that they are trying to pursue….or you can offer them an incentive…there are people that do this
  - written 1 day, 23 hours ago

• CAR HELP
  

  Yeah…I just realized that focusing on my car right now might be a huge mistake. Although, I would love for it to look better…in two years I’m going to have a debt to pay and I do want to purchase my own place soon after that…I’m now thinking of putting it off and saving up for these things instead.
  - written 1 day, 23 hours ago

• I finally made up my mind, I definitely want to go to graduate school…..but how do I know which program is for me?
  

  [quote airhousemone]OK so i don’t know your age but i say go for the corrections counselor now. And work towards your goals. Once you have a paying job with benefits you can provide for your future and have a retirement plan. Then once set up you can use your skills to help people and do the things you love.[/quote]
  
  Well right now I’m 19, I still have two more years to go until I graduate with my B.A. but I do hope to become a correctional counselor as soon as I’m out :)
  - written 1 day, 23 hours ago

Halo 0=)'s conversations are tagged:

boyfriend, Love, friends, relationship, talk, Feeling, girlfriend, question, She Was, Thought, Wanted, One Day, house, Leave, Feel, girl, Money, Times, Family, work, Part, Person, contact, like this, Relationships