Little Boy Lost's profile at Help.com

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• I feel like some stupid, cliché hypochondriac writing this, but I think I have depression and am afraid to admit it and seek help. posted (3 years, 4 months) ago
  If this is a scrambled mess that doesn’t really make sense, I apologise: it’s a stream of consci…

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Little Boy Lost's Top (1) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) I’m really frustrated because I never fit in anywhere.
  

  I’m sorry that there have been so many people in your life that have made you feel this way. It’s not OK for anyone to be treated like this; you shouldn’t have to pretend to be anyone but yourself.
  
  Perhaps these people just need to get to know you. They can’t write you off straight away just because they found out you’re not a Christian. If you carry on being friendly towards them, the ice may thaw, and they may realise that there’s something more to you than your religion, and that they’d be happy to know you.
  
  Definitely don’t try to be something other than yourself. Hiding your true self will only make you resent society for not accepting you as you are. By pretending to be something other than yourself, not only are you lying to people - which is never a good basis for a proper relationship - you’re lying to yourself. You will hate everyone around you for not accepting you, and you’ll start to vilify yourself for not being accepted for yourself. I’m speaking from bitter experience; trying to fit in with people by not being true to myself made me desperately unhappy.
  
  Someone once said “I’d rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I’m not”. You shouldn’t struggle to be accepted by people that you don’t really want to be like. The question that you really have to ask yourself is this: If you have to pretend to be something that you’re not to gain these peoples’ acceptance, why do you want to belong to that group?
  
  I understand your desperation to feel a sense of belonging. I’ve felt it for the greater part of my life. It took me a long time to realise it, but I know now that there are some places where I just won’t fit, some groups I will never comfortably belong in, and that trying to fit in by hiding my true self only made me feel more outcast and appear desperate.
  
  Perhaps you don’t fit in your current community. But there will be somewhere you can be comfortable being yourself, and people who don’t make you feel inferior because you’re not exactly what they think you should be. It’s just a case of finding them. Just don’t lose hope.
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by ❤Phoenix Reins❤

Last 5 Replies – All 25 replies »

• Is my grammar wrong?
  

  No, your grammar is not wrong. ‘Himself’ is correct there. Leave it as it is.
  
  Not really sure why Word has underlined it; I shouldn’t worry about it too much, it’s a well-understood phrase so you should be fine.
  - written 8 months, 2 weeks ago

• would you consider 5′1 being short or normal size for an 18yr old girl?
  

  There is nothing wrong with your height.
  
  What is “normal” anyway? It’s so subjective. Don’t worry about other people’s perception of normality.
  - written 1 year ago

• I am so confused because I thought that she liked me by the way she acted.
  

  It is very intuitive of you, Anonymous, to pick up on her likely discomfort at discussing siblings following her brother’s (presumably untimely) death. Don’t take it as a sign of indifference towards you that she didn’t wait to talk to you after the class. Sometimes, talking to people is the last thing one wants to do.
  
  I have a question, and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, Anonymous. You stated that you probably shan’t see her again after next week. I understand that you are interested (and perhaps have been for a while) in pursuing a relationship with her. But if you aren’t likely to stay in touch with her after next week, why are you choosing to make a go of it now? I understand the fear of rejection, but why, if you were interested in her and felt she was interested in you too, have you waited ’til now? Relationships that start as long distance rarely succeed in my experience.
  
  Nevertheless, you should ask her out. It is something I repeat here a lot, but I am a firm believer in that old adage: “nothing ventured, nothing gained”. If she isn’t interested, you’re no worse off than you are now. If she is, then great. Speaking from painful personal experience, regrets can be very debilitating.
  
  Another question you ought perhaps to ask yourself is whether you are willing to remain “just friends” if she doesn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with you? Friendships can be just as important, and I would recommend you to try and stay in touch with her whatever the outcome.
  
  If she doesn’t wait for you after next week’s class, perhaps you might call and ask her to join you for a quiet drink? In any case, I wish you luck.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why do have to learn a language?
  

  And, of course, it’s rewarding and enjoyable.
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

• Why do have to learn a language?
  

  You’d be amazed at the number of opportunities it offers you. In some sectors, being able to speak a foreign language can make you more employable. Speaking a foreign language allowed me to go and spend a year abroad as part of my degree, and it was absolutely the best experience of my life. Why don’t you try it and see where it leads you?
  - written 1 year, 1 month ago

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