chaffingbuttock's profile at Help.com

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• Once an ex leaves, is there a chance of friendship/mutual relationship?
  

  Hello friend.
  
  I am in a similar situation. although our relationship did not last as long as yours, we were and still are very very close. I know that I want to be her friend and I know that she wants me to be her friend but we have just recently split and at this point in time, I know that I can’t be her friend. I empathise with you because it sounds like you haven’t quite got to the stage where you are fully over her and I am at the beginning of that process myself. It definitely is quite difficult to separate those feelings (at least for me).
  
  When I read your situation, it did strike me as perhaps her going otu with some guy after only a month may be her coping mechanism to get over you. She may have some residual feelings for you and her moving into another relationship allows her to transfer those feelings onto someone else. When you met up, you complicating her life might have been her saying that she wasn’t quite over you and it was not as clear cut as she had thought. Of course I don’t want to pretend to know what is going on in her head, but this is just a possibility.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• I am starving (literally 6 days since my last meal) and need some help finding resources.
  

  hi maureen, i don’t know about washington state particularly, but there should be a mission there. as far as i know, they generally serve food to the homeless and needy.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• i used to hate my life then because of a girl i started
  

  in what way is she and others acting that makes you miserable and hate yourself and has there been anything that has prompted this shift in her behaviour? how is it that the actions of someone can make you feel so negatively about yourself? have you talked to a specialist such as a councellor or a gp about the issues you are having?
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• my ex-boyfriend broke my heart and i thought i’ve moved on but i still think about him allll the time.what should i do?
  

  ok, after writing a massive long-winded post, i’ve decided to simplify.
  
  1) what should you do? well only you can answer that question really. the questions i think you should ask yourself is : what do you WANT to do? or what do you want?
  
  2) once you’ve identified a goal, think about what it is that you need to achieve it. if you’ve decided that his breaking your heart is unforgiveable and you want to get over him, what do you need to do that? what is it that keeps drawing your thoughts back to him? what can you do to stop that from happening? or, do you want to forgive him and see if you can restart the relationship? what was it that caused the failure of the relationship? has this been resolved? if not, will you just end up back where you started?
  
  3) do. after you’ve answered those questions and you have an idea of how to achieve your goal, put those things into motion.
  
  my post probably hasn’t been that insightful, but just be confident about yourself and your ability to make the right decisions and to do what is needed :)
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• I broke my best friends heart.
  

  first of all, i never said i blamed her for making it complicated. i said that i knew what i wanted, which was time and space (i.e. my coping strategy) and she didn’t give that to me. it made it easier for her to deal with but in the process, made it harder for me. the complications are something different. did i accept ‘blame’ for my contribution? if you actually read my post then yes, i have acknowledged that she was a great source of support for me during my difficult times and i’ve always let her know how much i appreciated her for being there for me and that i was aware that i was asking a lot of her.
  
  if you are so knowledgeable in the councelling industry, then you will respect that there is something called client centered councelling, which is what i learnt and practiced. we do not give advice as you say, we merely help the person come to their own answers because they know the situation best and only they know what is best for them. i don’t know you and i don’t care for your opinions about me. as i said before, you don’t know the situation and you don’t know either of us and therefore i don’t believe you are in any way qualified to give us advice.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

chaffingbuttock's conversations are tagged:

depression, Love, friendship, Relationships, broken hearts, confusion, food assistance, financial aid, starving, Poverty