DarkSnow's shout trail with Wild Rose - Help.com

Some people would disagree with that ^^

Indeed not. And if the psychologist or therapist is able to do what they are supposed to do, it can be helpful. I don’t have a very high opinion of those professions, but I do know some individuals that are good counselors =)

Mhm, I’m aware of that. It’s one of the main differences between Islam and Christianity: whether he was just a prophet, or something more.

I will do my best. ^^ I’m glad it continues to go well for you through this.

You’re sweet :)

All goes well between us.
But I’ve been talking to my doctor. He told me better to go and talk to somebody, psychologist or therapist. I’m willing to try this method again bc I have a lot of unsolved issues…well I have nothing to lose right?

I also believe in Isa (as). As muslim we believe in all prophets. I was not born as a muslim actually. It was my own choice

Anyway…..stay in touch please ;)

((hugs))
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I grew up in a Muslim country, so perhaps the mindset is familiar to me a bit ^^ Although, as for myself, I trust in Isa al Masih as my mediator with God, and have no trust in being able to follow God’s law on my own.

That’s good. I’m glad to hear things are going better and you’ll be able to work it out. If you’ve been betrayed before, it’s possible you still have some of those fears now. But the more someone shows love for you, the better you can trust them, and you have less fear, I’ve found. Although some fear can still linger, and it probably doesn’t help that you’re not close to each other right now.
Also, if you want to work on finding out why you’re suspicious, he might be able to help. If you talk to a person who knows you well and can help you understanding yourself, it’s very useful.
But, regardless, it seems to be going fairly well, so I’m glad =) It makes me happy when the endings to situations are good.

You’re quite welcome for whatever help I’ve been able to give ^^

Yep your right about my religion :)

he told me in his anger that he will never forgive me this. But now he can say ‘I love you’ again and we talked and I promised to work on myself. I know I have a lot of issues that made me became doing this. But it’s not like an excuse. I told him to that I was wrong , made a mistake and that I’m sorry. I don’t even know how to make up. For the moment we’re not living togheter I live in Europe and he’s in the US. One big ocean between us.
Anyway it’s going better and I know he still loves me.
Me? I like to go to the bottom to figure out why I’m suspicious. I’ve been throug a lot of things in my past and I just think I’m affraid to lose him. But I also know that this was a way of losing him for good..stupid me.
See I love him so so much, he’s all I have, my husband and best friend. I’m realy angry at myself.
Darsnow you don’t know how much it means for me that you have listend to me and that you spent your time on me. I realy appreciate it

((hugs))

I was worried that might be the case. =(
However, I’m not sure that you can’t work things out.

I don’t think that he will ever quite forget the mistake. But can he forgive it? I imagine that he is hurting just as much as you are and you will both keep having pain and hurt until you can reconcile over this.
It helps to be completely honest with the way you are feeling. To tell him of how you were afraid, and worried, and angry, and scared, and so you blamed him for this. And now how you feel remorse and you’re in even worse pain over the feeling that you’ve betrayed him. If I was in your position I’d bare all my feelings, cry, and then give him a hug. Although I’m a funny person ^^ The thought that comes to my mind is that if a person can empathize and care about people, then if you help them understand your emotions they will have compassion. Although he is probably very hurt too, so you’ll also need to help him with his pain as he helps you with yours.

If you don’t mind me asking, what religion do you follow? Islam comes to mind for me for some reason, but I have no idea.

Well Darksnow….

I just made the biggest mistake in my life.
I blamed him for cheating on me and it’s not true…result? Now he doesn’t trust me anymore. I damaged our relationship big time and I don’t know how to ever make up. he said he will never forget what I’ve done..
So he didn’t cheat but I end up more miserabel then ever

^^ Due to a lot of the hormones and such involved when a person has sex, I consider it very similar to a drug. And it’s easier to not be addicted when you’ve never had it. Although there is still a drive for a physical relationship, no doubt due to hormones, it can be suppressed. At least for me.
Getting married would be great, though. It just depends entirely on who you get married *to* ^^

I wish I could say that, but it’s not that I’m desprate to have someone to. I just couldn’t live without the fysical part haha

Thank you ^^ Although it may not end up being a problem for me. The way things are going, I doubt I will get married. I’m too much of a loner.

:) I’ll pray with you for you

Okay. I’m glad =) I hope you’re able to work things out.
And I pray that I never understand the motivation for a person to cheat on their spouse.

you’ve been on my post so knowing somebody’s listening to you is nice :)

I’m happy to try to help =) Although I don’t know how much help I can be.

Thank you for helping me on my post. I apriceate it.

Actually, it’s not a one time incident. She mentioned that it’s happened before, though this is the worst.
However, she is ill-prepared so I wouldn’t suggest that she go out on her own. But from what you were discussing I didn’t see that as the thing that you were arguing about, it seemed as if you thought that what the mother was doing was not so harmful. Perhaps I misunderstood.
Forgive, but never forget or excuse. I have forgiven even Hitler, yet I will not forget what he did or excuse it.
Hopefully indeed.

Yes, I agree with the fact that emotional abuse can do so much harm. But let’s not judge the mom or the kid, bc honnestly we can not really know the thruth about them. We can just advice them the best way. The only thing bodering me on that post is that they immediatly told the poster to get out of there, look for a job etc…while I could feel that she loves her mom. And I could conclude that this was a one time incident. I believe in God. So…why can God forgive and we humans can’t forgive?
Anyway I hope they will work things out between them

So you don’t think there’s an excuse for the mother’s actions then?
I also did not use the term child abuse. Emotional abuse is to harm someone emotionally. If a person beats their child up only once, I’d consider that physical abuse. And from what I’ve seen, emotional abuse is even more harmful. Hopefully it isn’t a common thing for the mother to be emotionally abusive, but I’d consider it emotional abuse regardless.

If you’ve been reading my words, I said that the mother should also apologize to her. They should talk it out.
And yes I said it was wrong from the mothers side, but I also said that we are all humans and make mistakes.

Yes, it’s a help website, and the discussions/arguments often help people. Though, when a person looks like they are arguing with everyone else, I get suspicious.
The unfortunate thing is, I can see it from the mother’s point of view as well, because I have had to act as a parent. I don’t think it’s a good idea to quickly judge this mother, but what she is doing is at least harmful beyond a doubt. That cannot be argued, since the harm done to the poster is visible. And if it’s harmful, it should hopefully be changed.
Unlike some others on that post, I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to cut off contact with her mother or move away at the moment, but she shouldn’t think there is a reason why such behavior is acceptable.

I keep on shouting myself … sorry

First of all it’s a help site, right? An we can discuss things, right? I’m not judging anything or anybody. I’m just trying to help the poster in my own way. And if I don’t agree, then I say it. I’m a straight person. I’m not arguing at all.
On that post I felt like there are a lot of teenagers. I’m a mother of three, single. And that’s why I can see things from the mothers side to and not only from the kids side.

I suspect your motives for arguing with so many people on that post. Why are you arguing? What is your purpose? In what way do you believe my suggestions are malicious or wrong?