Shigaku's profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• As a first year college student, I’m about to ask out my first college gal. posted (1 week, 3 days) ago
  Truth to be told, ever since I came here, I’ve been all over the place. Cute girls everywhere…

• Nobody now to root me to this cold harsh reality that I locked myself in. posted (7 months) ago
  It’s a matter of perspective. I have friends. They come and find me, we kid around, we have m…

• Oh, so you need a boy toy all the time, don’t you? posted (9 months, 1 week) ago
  Ran into you today, out of all the chances, at the net cafe. You were with another guy, already. T…

• Who am I? posted (9 months, 2 weeks) ago
  I’m a traitor to everyone. I have no enemies because I do not stick up for my own views. The…

• Better than expected? posted (9 months, 2 weeks) ago
  I know that I’m lucky to not have lost a good friend in the ensuing chaos of about 2 weeks a…

• Dunno why I’m still talking to her. posted (9 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Well, my ex-gf approached me over skype and apologized for her behavior, and said she had overreact…

• I feel empty. posted (10 months) ago
  Ever since the break-up, I’ve felt like my life has no meaning. And I’ve tried desperat…

• All Claimed Posts »

Shigaku's Top (4) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) Hey everyone, I need someones help but someone who will not criticize me.
  

  You wouldn’t believe what my opinion is based on all the people before me, but, hey, it helps to have different perspectives - especially from a guy not much older than you.
  
  What do you want to hear from the people of Help? It’s obvious that you do not want to hear that you are too young, and ignorant about love. And it’s obvious that you aren’t going to listen to anything along the lines of ditching him. So in short, the post itself has a massive flaw - to receive help, you gotta be open to criticism, whether it be bad, or good. As for what you want to hear, I don’t think you’re going to get many well-wishers if that is what you wanted - as put simply, you’ve stated everything that leads most people on to the conclusion that you are in a dangerous relationship. You’ve said that he’s cheated in the past. Many people who hear that, the first reaction will be to tell you to drop it, and move on. You’ve also said he is 19, while you are 14. The age difference alone, to many people, is an alarm bell, especially to parents, and older people. So, I have to say, you should have seen this coming. =\
  
  It’s good that you trust him so much, and have forgiven him - suspicion in a relationship only worsens it. But at the same time, you can’t afford not to suspect him - and trust me, it takes very, very little for a guy to change his mind, and dump a girl, especially if he’s already done it once, or twice. All it takes is a girl with good looks, and who makes herself open to him, and hangs around him for a bit, and before you know it, he’s gone.
  
  Anyhow, here is my opinion. It is possible for a guy to continue his bad habits of cheating, but at the same time, it’s equally possible for him to give up the habit. And I also know that breaking up, no matter how much people tell you to do it, it is only your choice in the end. And breaking up - those two words - sound so easy. But it isn’t. To stop contact with a person who has made you feel like something, feel loved, the person you envisioned yourself with maybe in the future, the person who is there for you…it isn’t as easy as it is. And it never was. Many people here just say, “Leave him/her, find someone else.” No matter how many reasons there are, no matter how much it makes sense to everyone except the person asking. So people who have replied, it’s really pointless to tell her to break up, and move on - as it’s pretty clear that that isn’t going to happen.
  
  I say that you do know what love is. Can love be defined better by an expert, or by a 14 year old girl? Love is personal, and nobody, nobody can tell us what, or who we can love.
  
  I wish you good luck. I might have rambled a bit, but I think you get the general gist.
  
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago – voted for by Aries, C.D.

• (1 vote) love is life.
  

  My definition of love is simply war.
  
  - written 9 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by ♥ Fairytale ♥

• (1 vote) Im 13 and falling in love with a guy who is 23.
  

  …He’s a nice guy.
  
  He immediately told you that he would opt for the friends option, upon finding your true age. Any honest and nice guy would do that.
  
  As for the people who believe he is a creeper, it’s not the guy’s fault, frankly. He started his interaction with the OP BELIEVING that she was a 20 year old. And then he was abruptly bought back to earth. He already had feelings before the OP told him, so who can really blame him? He did the right thing. If he really was a creeper, he would have told you that age doesn’t matter, and that he still wants you.
  
  Now it’s your turn, OP. Do as everyone here suggests - break off contact altogether with him. Give the poor guy a break, you’ve done enough. Not to be rude or anything, but what you did was unforgivable.
  
  Put yourself in his shoes and think.
  
  - written 1 year, 2 months ago – voted for by oftheday

• (1 vote) thinking about ending my life go sit in my car and
  

  If you die, you will inflict an even larger wound upon your parents and other loved ones. And most of all, you will let yourself down.
  
  True, you just had a really ****** day. But if you kill yourself, you won’t be able to experience the good when it comes around.
  
  The fact that you came here to post only makes us feel worse. All we can do is pray for you, and hope you have read our messages, and hope that you are alive come tomorrow.
  
  There are many ways out of your situation, but please, don’t kill yourself.
  
  - written 1 year, 8 months ago – voted for by Kitten_Ciao

Last 5 Replies – All 728 replies »

• Nobody now to root me to this cold harsh reality that I locked myself in.
  

  It’s real, all of it.
  
  I over-think things a lot and worry and fret and get sad, and people have suggested that I have depression because of that. I’ll probably get that checked up on, though to be honest, I doubt my life would change for the better upon realizing that.
  
  Well, I’ve told myself to just stay out of the relationship game for a while until I can get my bearings together.
  - written 7 months ago

• How do you break up with someone that you absolutely love?
  

  Whoa, what the hell. He asked you to pay for yourself…
  
  I don’t know how to help you, I’ll be honest, but I would recommend just letting him know that this is now how you want your relationship to be. Communication is key - if he refuses to communicate the reason as to why he has been acting like this, it’s probably better to leave him be.
  
  I’m not saying it easy to leave him. Just saying that’s probably the right thing to do.
  - written 7 months ago

• How do I get over a guy I’m in love with that alreadt moved on?
  

  Meet others, find a hobby that interests you. Just don’t look back, ever.
  - written 7 months ago

• I think I like my bestfriend.
  

  Best friends are potentially the easiest ones to approach. Better let him know! Even if the answer might hurt, what will hurt in the long run is not knowing.
  
  And it’s easy to simply resume being best friends so long as both of you are open and honest.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• how can you ever really move on ?
  

  Break off all contact with your ex, or contact them at a minimum. Hang out with your other friends, keep yourself occupied at all times. Try new things, don’t mope, and don’t be jealous, it happens to the best of us.
  
  Let people know, and don’t be afraid to talk to them. Good luck!
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

Shigaku's conversations are tagged:

Love, relationship, friends, girlfriend, Right Now, girl, boyfriend, pretty, school, She Was, talk, feelings, Wanted, advice, Person, Relationships, friendship, question, Find, life, guy, Prom, Feel, Hard, Get This