hey, i’m very good, thanks! i haven’t had much experience with social anxiety, but i’ll do my best to give some practical advice. :)
i think the easiest way to connect with someone is to find something you like in common. sometimes it can be something close to the heart and sometimes it can be something that many people hold in common. i met one of my best friends just playing ping pong in my college rec room. but when both people are engaged in an activity, or in talking about something they like and are familiar with, it takes the stress off of trying to think up clever things to say on your own.
try to keep things light. try to keep your mind clear of anticipations in your first few conversations. don’t try to guess what they’re thinking - that can trip you up and make you self-conscious. just express yourself honestly and happily. if you have edgy things to say, i think you should wait a bit if you’re shy.
to take off a bit of the anxiety when you’re talking to someone new, just remind yourself that wort case scenario, you just make an excuse and walk away. it won’t get worse than that.
your friends are good connections to new people. if they have new friends, particularly guy friends, encourage them to invite them next time you get together. this is kind of easier because you don’t have to invite them the first time. then later, you can be to one to invite the friend to hang out.
practice flirting. here are some tips on how to do it, and they are all pretty accurate: http://www.wikihow.com/Flirt-with-a-Guy
if you’re getting used to it, try to incorporate at least one of these into every conversation with a guy. eye contact and smiling are the most important ones.
focus on making friends first. with both guys and girls. it is important to have a good friend or a couple friends you can count on. it puts too much stress on a relationship if the only person you can count on is your boyfriend/crush. making friends with several guys is important because it gives you some options. and it lets you see a variety of guy personalities. you’ll get along with men better if you can better understand the way they think.
be patient. don’t just take the first guy who has a crush on you. pay attention to his behavior to make sure he’s a good guy. make sure he’s not easily angered, self-serving, ignorant, or extremely clingy. those traits can often lead to relationships that are worse than being single.
that’s all i can think of right now. i’ll write back if i think of some more. i wish you luck. :) let me know if you need any help, ok? hopefully things go well for you!
The one I got banned on?
It was pretty stupid. I should have just reported her though, besides fighting with her. It just made me mad that she would just go and call somebody she is supposed to be helping that.