RRJR's profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• I have a friend who is married and he wants to name their baby who is due any day now after a past girlfriends name. posted (11 months, 3 weeks) ago
  I asked him if his wife knows and he said he wasn’t sure he told her about the ex girlfriend o…

• I need opinions here. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  A few months ago my vehicle broke down and so my husband got me a nice reliable vehicle in its place…

• For those of you who do believe in God please pray for my family. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  Were are going through a very tough time and need some prayer. Thank you.…

• I am really down. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  I keep having people pushing me to do things that are just beyond my capabilities. I am a parent of …

• My husband goes out of town to work at least half the week every week. posted (1 year, 5 months) ago
  We get along really well when hes home but when he gone we tend to fight on and off. We both canR…

• I have children that I share custody with my ex husband. posted (1 year, 5 months) ago
  He has them 75% of the time. Not by my choice and it’s a long story. The children have a couns…

• I have so much stress that I am actually starting to totally forget important things. posted (1 year, 6 months) ago
  I have always had a good memory. All my stress is situational and I have little control over it. I s…

• All Claimed Posts »

RRJR's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) i am so broken..i will never get over him…i am wasting my life…Someone please talk to me.
  

  Mostly I kept busy and tried to do things I liked to do in my spare time. Wasn’t easy at all. Took me a couple years to really recover but I was with them over half my life. I eventually met someone new and wasn’t even looking for someone. It just happened. I had to start all over again with everything in life. so with that I started to also do new things that I never did with my ex so that I could build new memories apart from them.
  
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago – voted for by berzeker23

• (1 vote) is this child abuse?
  

  [quote Pep with a JellyBean][quote RRJR]Why did it get brought up anyway? Who brought it up?[/quote]
  
  Yeah, I asked this, too. I wonder why poster’s mom brought it up. Was mom trying to convince poster that the father is a bad person or what?[/quote]
  
  I am wondering if someone is trying to make dad look bad?
  
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago – voted for by Just thinking

• (1 vote) I have so much going through my head right now and am feeling incredibly stressed and worn by my stupid emotions.
  

  Definately get some rest. Stress and worry drain the body a lot and so does depression. Easier said than done I know but it’s important. Don’t do more than you can handle right now. Prioritize what you have to get done and what you can let go of for a while. I am sure everything that you have to do is important but put value or worth to it against your life and well being. What I mean is will you die if you end up getting a “c” on something because you can’t put your full effort forth right now? I highly doubt it. So let the perfection go for your sanity until you are up to those challenges. Let you instructors know, if you can, that you are facing difficult times and that you need some grace if possible. If you have extra curricular things that you can put on hold (unless they are stress releivers) then do it. Take a break from anything extra. Give yourself permission to be a bit more lazy and not beat yourself up for it. Know that you will in time be able to take on life again as you did before but right now you have challenges that need attention and the other stuff can wait. If you can see a counselor do it. There is nothing wrong with admitting you need direction now. And try to keep positive thoughts in your mind about EVERYTHING even how the bad things right now are going to eventually end or change.
  
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago – voted for by DarkSnow

• (1 vote) My mom use to be a really good mom when i was younger,
  

  Sounds like your mom is going through some sort of crisis. She may not even know why she is behaving like this. I don’t know what her problem is however I myself have gone through some really horrible stuff that my children don’t know about or understand. In my way of coping for a while I stupidly thought that if I were to deaden my feelings towards my children it would be easier for me if I lost them. I was made to feel that I was a worthless person and no good for my kids. So, I thought that I should give them up. In order to do that I had to somehow hate them. My rational yet confused mind thought that if there was no love then leaving would be so much easier. I never followed through with the thoughts, however sad to say they did have to deal with some really angry days from me and had to hear me say I just wanted to leave everyone, several times. Having hard times in life is no excuse for my behavior. I have the ability to control me. But sometimes the pain and depression make us really think of horrific things to try and escape. I have been in counseling and it helps. It’s definately not a cure and I do relaps because I’m still dealing with a horrible situation that seems like it will never end and I can’t seem to find the answers I need to get to those happy days. But I just thought you should know that she may be really suffering from something. It’s not an excuse for how she treats you and your siblings. And judging by how I would get it can seem impossible to do anything about it because she wont let it happen. Has she gone through some kind of trauma?
  
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago – voted for by stlouisrams_9

• (1 vote) I don’t know what to do.
  

  Well we can’t live our life in the past. What was done was done. If you still have feelings for him then go see him. If he interprets that as you still like him then I guess he’s right cuz it sure sounds like you never got over him. Yes you were harsh with him but he antagonized you and your boyfriend at the time and you had to stop that. Now things are different. Just because people break up doesn’t always mean they now have to hate eachother. Sometimes it’s for the best and they can just be friends. You loved him once for some reason. I assume he still has the qualities you loved so it would be natural that you have those feelings. You also broke up for a reason so remember that too. The bad must have out weighed the good. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or that you don’t care about him.
  
  - written 2 years, 10 months ago – voted for by DarkSnow

Last 5 Replies – All 388 replies »

• after 5 years of marriage my wife left me for a woman
  

  What part are you having trouble with? The fact that your wife left you or that she left you for another woman? I am supposing the woman part has got you freaked out. I was married to a man for 16 years that cheated on me with several women and eventually got one pregnant. But to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if he likes men as well and hides it. I found out he had some sexual experimentation with men before me. I unfortunately lost a lot of my good years in denial of the fact that my now ex husband had sexual issues that are not to my liking and understanding. I have come to the realization that he had a problem all along and I didn’t make him be who he is. Don’t go down the road of blaming yourself. Life takes us for a loop sometimes. Just be thankful you didn’t find this out after many more years of devotion.
  - written 11 months, 2 weeks ago

• I am really down.
  

  I don’t think that I complain about the way they help accept they don’t respect my stuff. For example I had a small cabinet that I kept all the drawings my son made me for vaentines day and mothers day ect. I would guess it was approximately 40 to 50 papers. Not like a whole trunk full of stuff and they thought it was trash and threw it out. I cried for days. I can’t get that stuff back. I had a few objects of little value but were given to me by my grandmother who is now dead. They threw them away cuz they viewed it as junk. That is what makes me mad. If they wash the dishes, sweep, do laundry whatever I don’t have some perfect routine to all that I could care less how they get that done as long as it’s done. What I care about is they have even thrown away my original birth certificate. I mean come on. How is that being picky about cleaning? I don’t care what method they use to help me accept I want my things to be respected. That’s just down right rude to just trash my stuff. I don’t trash their stuff. I ask them what they would like done with it or if they would put it away not just throw it away. I respect their stuff. That’s my problem. So when I said their “style” of cleaning I was trying to get across that they don’t care about the things that belong to me. Could you imagine someone trashing your important stuff and then telling you I thought it was trash?
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• I married a man and moved out of state from most of my relatives and friends.
  

  It’s very hard not having anyone to talk to. Having someone who will just simply listen is such a help. I know you listen to other people because you are hoping for the same care in return. I have the same problem as you do. I had to turn to a counselor because the people I love could really care less to listen to me when I need it or they are just critical and heap on more pain to what I already have. I’m not saying that the people in my life are horrible people but they just don’t have the ability to be a shoulder for me. I feel for you and I hope you find someone who will listen.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• Getting someone off your back.
  

  Well just be frank with him. Making up excuses is creating a fake relationship anyway. Tell him you like him and enjoy his company and plan to continue your friendship with him however, you are not the type to hang out a lot. You don’t do it with him or anyone else for that matter. It is just your personality. Tell him that you want him to continue to ask if you would like to hang out but to not be offended if you are feeling that you want to be alone now and then. I am a person who does not do well with spur of the moment things. I need things planned out ahead of time. I am happiest that way. I can do spur of the moment things sometimes but my friends are more likely to get a NO from me if it’s not planned. Since they know me they understand that and do not get offended. They either accept me for who I am or it wont work. I have to do the same. Since a lot of my friends are spur of the moment people I sometimes give in to their request out of fairness to understanding their personalities in return. Friedship isn’t onesided. Hope this person can understand and accept you so that you can contiue to be friends.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• My world has shattered :( Today I found out my sister is pregnant for the 2nd time.
  

  Don’t let your world be shattered over something you can not fix. You can be disappointed and hurt. That’s an ok thing. Let your sister know how you feel. You are obviously fairly mature. And talk to your parents too. They may think you don’t know what you’re talking about but you may give them information they haven’t thought of. It is sad that your parents are enabling her like they are. She will probably never grow up as long as she has people who will bail her out. In your parents defence they probably do it for the grandchild though. As hard as it is they need to boot her out. And if they have to, keep the grandchildren if they can do so. I can imagine it would be super hard to throw your own child out but one can not enable another either and thus expect them to be productive adults and have accomplishments. there is nothing wrong with giving a fallen child a boost. But if they are not trying on their own to get on their feet then they are not truely being helped.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

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