I meant like at grocery stores. Wouldn’t it be better to just skip that annoying process where the dashing grocery bagger named Nick ‘considerately’ double bags your shampoo and bug spray so it doesn’t fall all over the parking lot, a practice which leaves you with about twenty thousand extra plastic bags at home that you can’t get rid of because your wacky mom likes to recycle them all together? Just kidding. I meant it like leave, like stop talking to me for weeks.
Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t talk with you in so long. And I replied to you with a really mean song just now too. But it’s not meant to be mean at you, just funny. And I see you have a log comment down there. That’s nice. :)
What about current thoughts? I’m a fan of those. If you wanted, you could say random things about your life, and I could inquire about it sometimes like, “are your shoes completely comfortable now?” and I would be glad to know that they were, or sorry that they weren’t, but worrying about how the random info that you handed over affected me would be completely pointless because I’d be glad to know anything you felt like telling and glad that you could tell me, so that it wouldn’t have to feel like you were alone. Anyhow, maybe all of that sounds totally unappealing, whatever you like.
If that was supposed to be “hey, I think you’re wonderful too”, I appreciate it.
If you’re saying my constantly calling you a wonderful person is making you feel bad, ah I dunno, say so. (Though my “you’re wonderful” to you has always been an observation, and never a bandage unlike I guess the way you meant it to yourself)
If you’re just randomly saying related stuff in my direction, well thanks for the neat music, I appreciate whatever effort you spent saying something to me.
Until you actually tell me what you meant by putting that there, I’m going with the third idea. I have no idea, I think this response might irritate you, and after I do anything melodramatic, which is pretty often on this site, I feel kind of stupid, but could you please tell me what you mean, so I know how to feel and what to do?
I even know how ridiculous my response is considering all you’ve really said to me recently is pretty much nothing. I don’t know, I feel like you wanted to keep me attached in a friendly way at some point,so I stay attached. If I’m wrong, I won’t kick myself, and you’re safe in an undisclosed location ;)
For now, indefinitely, I’m your confused friend.
And gosh, sorry for this weirdness. I’m fine with embarrassing myself on here in an attempt to talk with you honestly, but I don’t like to think of making you terribly uncomfortable.
Ah um but then in 1834 the Spanish Inquisition stopped showing up, so the people rejoiced and doubters stopped being so uncomfortable. Especially because the inquisition left their comfy chairs. The doubters, now too comfy to care, ate easter eggs and accepted Christ into their comfy hearts, and the narrator finished carefully explaining that none of this was supposed to signify anything at all and apologized for the weirdness, offering imaginary peanuts as compensation. Spring acted like spring and was nice, but didn’t mean anything besides the things it actually meant, and everyone lived happily ever after.
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