▲'s profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Last 7 Posts Authored

• Here’s something I don’t like… posted (3 days, 23 hours) ago
  People take advantage of me. They take advantage of me a lot. I’m too nice, and I’m sta…

• I’m mad at myself… posted (1 month, 3 weeks) ago
  Have you ever put your self in a situation for the shear sake of experience, and gone against every…

• This is to everyone who has experience in relationships… posted (2 months, 1 week) ago
  I need your help, and some final concrete advice about what to do in my situation. (This is going…

• Those days when everyone wants to talk, but you don’t… posted (2 months, 2 weeks) ago
  Yeah, it’s one of those days.. Out of the blue, recently old friends have been contacting me …

• Not feeling too good about myself right now… posted (4 months) ago
  I’m always making mistakes that cost me everything and it sucks. I just wish I knew how to de…

• I can honestly say 2012 was pretty great! posted (4 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Of course I had my moments, but for the most part, I achieved a lot. Things can only get better fr…

• I’m so hard to love… posted (5 months) ago
  I know it’s probably scaring the **** out of my boyfriend. I’m pushing him away again, …

• All Claimed Posts »

▲'s Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (5 votes) makeup on girls is….
  

  in my opinion; guys like girls who wear make up that they don’t notice, hence why guys say little or no make up because some may not realize that a girl is not wearing make up to begin with.
  
  - written 2 years, 9 months ago – voted for by ..Minerva.., ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿, Pianosaurus Rex, Dr. Ralph, colorandcontrast

• (4 votes) Should I buy new boobs or a house?
  

  When choosing between boobs and houses becomes a SERIOUS dilemma, we should know the end is near…
  
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago – voted for by Dr. Ralph, HateLoveHateXx, IrAdler, spiratec9

• (4 votes) I have very low self-esteem, how do I build it up again?
  

  learn to love yourself
  learn that you aren’t perfect
  learn that you can’t control how everyone feels about you
  learn that you can’t control how everyone thinks about you
  learn to say **** the world
  
  start making small goals for yourself and achieve them, then make bigger goals and achieve them.
  
  exercise when you look better you feel better
  
  read, because knowledge is power
  
  know your limits
  don’t dwell on the past on mistakes or failures
  learn from your mistakes
  
  stay around people that make you feel good
  appreciate people in general
  love people in general (for the most part)
  
  exclude yourself from drama
  
  and most importantly for me is to be independent
  
  keep in mind that self esteem takes times to build, i am in the process of building mine. Hope i helped :)
  
  - written 2 years, 10 months ago – voted for by Kalen, Pink Freud, `Kyle, Sans

• (2 votes) Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  Wow, Thank you all!
  
  All of you have helped so much. I think I’m realizing that it is okay for me to be selfish; and that maybe my idea of selfishness isn’t really me being that selfish at all. I have to be ready to accept love and happiness in order to be happy or make someone else happy. If I’m not ready to accept love and happiness, I cannot force myself to feel that way. I can’t lie to myself, or lie to someone to make THEM happy, because in the long run they will not be happy nor will. It’s a lose lose ‘loving/caring’ out of guilt, because you feel used, and your partner feels used. I will love when I’m ready, not when I’m lonely, feeling insecure, scared, or even just for experience. Looking back at my relationships and after reading all of these replies I realize that I was no saint either and I take full responsibility. I definitely want to handle my relationships better. And I have to start with myself first! I have to love myself first!
  
  But seriously you all are so amazing and have really changed the way I view myself in these situations and really put things in a different perspective for me!
  
  My only regret is the way I’ve actually treated my friends and my partners. I wish I had been more honest with them, and I wish I would have removed myself from the situations sooner. So I didn’t hurt them, or get myself hurt. I also wish I would have stuck with my instincts in the beginning of our relationships, when I knew I wasn’t ready for them, and when I knew they wouldn’t turn out right. I only hope that in time I can mend those relationships and gain their forgiveness for my actions.
  
  Thank you all again, this has meant so much to me! :)
  
  - written 2 days, 4 hours ago – voted for by mindhealer, missie_p

• (2 votes) I’m so hard to love…
  

  I know I’m not a horrible person though. I make him happy most of the time, and I know I do, but other times I just screw up badly. It just so happens that my screw ups are the same every time, around the lines of me not trusting him. I don’t know why I feel this way.
  
  - written 5 months ago – voted for by earth_bound_misfit

Last 5 Replies – All 1,352 replies »

• I sat down and talked with my mother today.
  

  Savanna, I don’t understand you. I don’t understand why you’ve given up so soon in life. I don’t understand why you are torturing yourself. I don’t get why you’re holding yourself back. Why after 3 years nothing has changed for you. Why after all that time it seems you’ve done nothing to pull yourself up. Why you haven’t moved forward.
  
  I’d like to tell you it is never to late to change your life, but you are wasting time. Complaining, crying, being miserable, and for what? Why are you doing this to yourself? What has made you feel so bad to the point where you think death is a better way? Why do you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy? Savanna I don’t understand.
  
  Your posts make me upset, because of the fact that you have given up. Everyone in this world goes through it. Everyone gets hurt, some more than others. But what makes me even more upset is that you’re privileged and you don’t even know it. You are taking what everyone is saying to you for granted. There is someone out there who is begging for what you have, who desperately needs advice but doesn’t have help.com. They can’t post rants about how they feel, they have no one. No mom to yell at them, no dad, no friends. And if they had that opportunity they would actually listen to what we are saying to YOU.
  
  The problem is you. You don’t want to change it. Life is too hard so you’re going to give up. I wonder if you ever look back on your posts and reflect on yourself. I wonder if you ever grow tired of pitying yourself. I wonder if you ever grow tired of crying. I wonder why you haven’t given yourself a break or a chance yet. I just don’t know what to say to you. You are you’re own worst enemy and you know it. You don’t really want help because after all this time you’re still at square one. You just want someone to tell you that killing yourself is okay, that’s what you want. You want someone to agree with you, to validate you. In killing yourself, you finally have control, because you can’t control anything else in your life.
  
  You feel like you’ve lost control of your life, is why you’re so miserable. You’ve given up trying because every time you try you fail is that it? Are you afraid of failing? Are you afraid of being hurt? I’m asking these questions because I want to understand you. I want to understand why you wouldn’t want to fight, why you wouldn’t want to kick life’s ***, why you wouldn’t want to come out a winner. Do you know how rewarding it is to try so hard finally succeed? Have you even tried?
  - written 2 days, 3 hours ago

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  Wow, Thank you all!
  
  All of you have helped so much. I think I’m realizing that it is okay for me to be selfish; and that maybe my idea of selfishness isn’t really me being that selfish at all. I have to be ready to accept love and happiness in order to be happy or make someone else happy. If I’m not ready to accept love and happiness, I cannot force myself to feel that way. I can’t lie to myself, or lie to someone to make THEM happy, because in the long run they will not be happy nor will. It’s a lose lose ‘loving/caring’ out of guilt, because you feel used, and your partner feels used. I will love when I’m ready, not when I’m lonely, feeling insecure, scared, or even just for experience. Looking back at my relationships and after reading all of these replies I realize that I was no saint either and I take full responsibility. I definitely want to handle my relationships better. And I have to start with myself first! I have to love myself first!
  
  But seriously you all are so amazing and have really changed the way I view myself in these situations and really put things in a different perspective for me!
  
  My only regret is the way I’ve actually treated my friends and my partners. I wish I had been more honest with them, and I wish I would have removed myself from the situations sooner. So I didn’t hurt them, or get myself hurt. I also wish I would have stuck with my instincts in the beginning of our relationships, when I knew I wasn’t ready for them, and when I knew they wouldn’t turn out right. I only hope that in time I can mend those relationships and gain their forgiveness for my actions.
  
  Thank you all again, this has meant so much to me! :)
  - written 2 days, 4 hours ago

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  That’s me too :/ > http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/patterns-new.htm
  
  I think I just discovered my problem… Yeah, I definitely have to find some more books. I have to fix this.
  
  And I believe the letting go part, has to do with just living in the moment, rather than in the future/past like codependents do. Probably also to let go of expectations, and of course relationships I’m assuming?
  - written 3 days, 21 hours ago

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-You-Are-Codependent
  
  Well, that’s how I’m interacting socially now, and it’s not doing me any good. It’s crazy how spot on that is. My personality is just…
  - written 3 days, 21 hours ago

• Here’s something I don’t like…
  

  [quote mindhealer][quote ▲]AHA! You got it![/quote]
  
  I’m glad to hear that I got something. I hope it helps. :)[/quote]
  
  It does… you know me pretty well, for not really knowing me at all lol. I think that’s kind of cool.
  - written 3 days, 22 hours ago

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